How did you decide on having a second child?

[agnesthelion]

And Kaley nor did I think you meant anything towards Morgan either!

 

[HolyHandGrenade]

Missy, the clock! hahaha. Welcome to the land of crazy, its totally happened! I kind of understand your want to bring a child into your family to be the one to show it to your grandparents, but then again I don't. I only have one grandma and she's a nutter. My son is lucky enough to have all four grandparents but uhm...3 out of 4 are pretty nuts too. While I never felt the need to bring a child into our family, because I hate them all, my SIL is feeling the pressure! haha. Shes 27, lives with her mom and probably will never have kids because shes...her. But she's told my in-laws on more than one occasion that she wants the life that my husband and I have. The house, the kid, the yard with a rooster. You know, the American dream! LMAO! JK about that part, but she's feeling the same maternal pull and the same crazy girl brain kick-in. And her clock is probably ticking pretty loudly too.
Hahah. Clocks. I'm pretty glad I never have to listen to a clock ticking.

I wouldn't feel any pressure from inside if my dad's side of the family was as populated as my mom's. She has 4 siblings, all but 3 of whom have kids. One has SIX, one has three, and the other has just 1. My dad has 2 older siblings, and he's the only one who married, had A kid, AND left the state. Everyone else stayed there and I'm the only grandchild, so it feels really special. I'd be sad if I ended up having a kid sometime after one of my grandparents passed away. They're both in their upper 70s and mostly healthy. Grampa is strong as an ox and keeps on ticking, but I share the strongest connection (and part of my name) with Grandma. I think if I have a little girl, she'll carry on Grandma's name.


I mean, EVER. If I EVER choose to have a baby and happen to have a girl

Oh Gods, it terrifies me, though.

 

[whitelop]

I wouldn't feel any pressure from inside if my dad's side of the family was as populated as my mom's. She has 4 siblings, all but 3 of whom have kids. One has SIX, one has three, and the other has just 1. My dad has 2 older siblings, and he's the only one who married, had A kid, AND left the state. Everyone else stayed there and I'm the only grandchild, so it feels really special. I'd be sad if I ended up having a kid sometime after one of my grandparents passed away. They're both in their upper 70s and mostly healthy. Grampa is strong as an ox and keeps on ticking, but I share the strongest connection (and part of my name) with Grandma. I think if I have a little girl, she'll carry on Grandma's name.


I mean, EVER. If I EVER choose to have a baby and happen to have a girl

Oh Gods, it terrifies me, though.

I think the scariest part of having another kid is if its a girl. They're cute an adorable and sickly pink, but then they grow up into teenage girls and gah, no one wants that! I have heard multiple times on multiple shows women saying "you know whats wrong with mothers? Daughters!" I was definitely made for having boys though. Nothing about me is feminine, except maybe that I'm a girl. But something tells me that if I ever had a daughter she would be totally opposite of me and be frilly. That would scare the pants off of me, because I wouldn't know what to do if I had to take off my boots or flannel shirts and dress up with my kid. haha.

I also share a common name with my paternal grand mother, my middle name is in her honor.

 

[kmaben]

Why is it so hard being a woman?

lol Morgan I think you have to much time "in your head"

whenever you start a sentence off like that it's like oh boy here it comes!

 

[whitelop]

Oh yes Kaley, I do have too much time in my head! WAY too much time. Thats what wine is for, it shuts the thought off! hahaha. jk...kind of.

 

[kmaben]

haha! Just finished a margarita to get supply lists out of my head.

Plus I heard if you drink a beer then breast feed the baby it makes them tired. Suppose it's true?

 

[whitelop]

I don't know, I didn't drink a whole lot while I breast fed. I have heard that though.

 

[majorv]

I didn't get married until later in life...I enjoyed being single. Anyway, we initially decided that we only wanted one child since we were both already in our 30's. I'm still not exactly sure why, but when our daughter was about 18 months old we decided to have a second child. Our son was born when she was just over 2 years old. I guess I have the opposite experience with daughters...I wouldn't trade her for the world. Unlike our son, she rarely caused us grief, even through her teenage years. She will be graduating from college soon and plans to apply to vet school. Our son, on the other hand, is very immature for his age and I'll be soooo glad when he 'grows up'!


Would I do it all over again? Despite the problems we've had with our son, we still love him. The kids got along pretty well growing up, being only 2 years apart. They looked out for each other at school, and kept each other company when they couldn't play with their friends. When we only had the one, we found that we could still do most of the things we used to do, but with two kids...well, it slowed us down quite a bit until they got older. The neat thing is, we found ourselves going to the circus, festivals, Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice...stuff we wouldn't normally do...they kept us active as we got older! :thumbup

 

[whitelop]

I didn't get married until later in life...I enjoyed being single. Anyway, we initially decided that we only wanted one child since we were both already in our 30's. I'm still not exactly sure why, but when our daughter was about 18 months old we decided to have a second child. Our son was born when she was just over 2 years old. I guess I have the opposite experience with daughters...I wouldn't trade her for the world. Unlike our son, she rarely caused us grief, even through her teenage years. She will be graduating from college soon and plans to apply to vet school. Our son, on the other hand, is very immature for his age and I'll be soooo glad when he 'grows up'!


Would I do it all over again? Despite the problems we've had with our son, we still love him. The kids got along pretty well growing up, being only 2 years apart. They looked out for each other at school, and kept each other company when they couldn't play with their friends. When we only had the one, we found that we could still do most of the things we used to do, but with two kids...well, it slowed us down quite a bit until they got older. The neat thing is, we found ourselves going to the circus, festivals, Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice...stuff we wouldn't normally do...they kept us active as we got older! :thumbup

Vicki, it sounds like you had a good daughter experience. Sarah was/is obviously a good kid. haha.
Your second paragraph was pretty helpful to me. Thanks!

 

[Blue eyes]

Morgan, you sound similar to me. The thought of having a girl wasn't too appealing. My husband had all brothers and no sisters and was also afraid about having a girl. He thought she'd be so delicate. I was the tomboy saying, "well she's not going to be a sissy! She's going to play sports and..."

Well, we never did have a girl, lol.

We did have 3 boys though. The oldest and youngest are spaced apart 9 years. But I did have to chuckle when you wrote "I actually can't wait until my son is a teenager, I guess because I'm his mom and he'll always love me; my husband is a little worried about when he's a teen because boys always have a problem with their dads."

There is most definitely a time when there is conflict with boys and their moms. It mostly is when they are trying to be the independent (teenage) man and resent any reliance or dependance particularly on mom. It's that natural pull away coupled with those hormones. (Yes, most boys go thru emotional changes too)

@Lisa, that's a shame you get judged for having one. I know people in europe who actually look down on those who have more than 1 child. They think I'm excessive having three.

We weren't married as long as you, Lisa, before having kids. But we were married for 6 years beforehand.

We always knew we would have at least 2. After a few years of having 2 kids, I just really felt (I know it sounds strange) but I just felt like there was someone else waiting to be born.