Fostering

[maherwoman]

Hey guys...

So we're trying to arrange to go pick up Rina's (okiron) Lumi tonight to foster her for approximately five months...

This is my first foster experience...is it weird to be really nervous?

Things I worry about:

- That I'll love Lumi too much (aka getting too attached)
- That I won't love her enough (aka not allowing myself to get attached at all to keep from crying when she leaves...although, honestly, I'll probably cry anyway, hehe)
- That she'll pass away in my care
- ANY medical emergency, really
- Seeing a good friend of mine cry tonight when we go pick her up
- Posting anything about her, other than writing Rina personally to let her know how she's doing, and sending her pictures (I don't want Rina to be embarassed...I'm going to have to talk to her about whether she minds me posting little stories and pictures about her or not).

Anyone got any advice for me? I just kinda freak out when change occurs...and this one's so big to me, since I've never done it before.

I hope that all makes sense...I think I just need some reassurance that this is gonna be okay...

I worry for my friend, and I worry that something will happen while Lumi's in our care...

 

[TinysMom]

Rosie,

I think you will do fine. You have so much love to give - and you are so compassionate. I think when you pick up Lumi - you both will cry - but you will also be ok.....both of you.

As I understand it - this is "for a season". You know that going in. You'll give Lumi lots of love - and yes - you'll probably cry when and if she returns to Rina....but that's ok too.

You will do great - you are stronger than you think you are.

Peg

 

[maherwoman]

Thank you so much, Peg...

Well, we're headed out the door in a moment...wish us luck!

Hugs to you guys!

*deep breath*

 

[Bo B Bunny]

You know, Rosie, think of it that if it were yours - wouldn't you want someone who might cry a little when they would leave? That's who I'd want to take care of mine.

If something happens like health - just get ahold of them or do whatever you have to - whatever those arrangements might be.

If the bunny would pass (God Forbid!) that's just life. It could happen. Make sure Rina knows you will do all you can for Lumi and if something like that would happen, you'd be devastated. She has to be able to accept that for now.

Yes, it might be tough, but in the end it's something so kind and generous that you and your husband are doing.

She gets to keep the Flemmies?

 

[Haley]

Hey Rosie, I think you should edit this and put it in the main forum or rescue section. Its really a great discussion that others could share with you. I dont think Rina would be upset that you have questions or are nervous. Its a great discussion for potential foster parents and bunny sitters alike.

I'll try and answer when I get back from class since I have lots of experience with fostering

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Haley that's an excellent idea!

Infact, Rosie, I would type it up in similar form but add it as a educational thing.

"What to think about before fostering"

 

[TinysMom]

Haley wrote:

Hey Rosie, I think you should edit this and put it in the main forum or rescue section. Its really a great discussion that others could share with you. I dont think Rina would be upset that you have questions or are nervous. Its a great discussion for potential foster parents and bunny sitters alike.

I'll try and answer when I get back from class since I have lots of experience with fostering

I think it would be great if in a couple of weeks or so we could put out something like this in the rescue area or general area with general discussion about fostering.

But I suspect right now that Rina is really hurting over having to foster her bunnies and right now, sharing something like this might be painful for her- or might make her feel like she's getting attacked somehow (depending upon things in the discussion....I mean - not that people would attack her but sometimes when one's emotions are involved - things get perceived wrong).

I'll be glad to come together with something to post in the general area asking questions about those who foster...maybe based on my experience w/ Zeus (because he is so friendly compared to what Tiny was like)...or maybe as research for a library article...

That way - no one could point the finger back to Rina or Rosie and have potentially hurt feelings....

Would that be ok?

Peg

 

[maherwoman]

That sounds like a really good idea, Peg!

Hugs!

 

[maherwoman]

Sooo....

Last night, we drove the hour to get beautiful little Lumi, and she's here now. We got home so late, we were too bushed to put her cage together all the way (we just brought over her cage from Rina's, but we have to alter it somewhat for our own space), so she spent the night in her large carrier. She's doing really well so far, and is warming up to me already, so things are going well. She's letting me pet her, and is LOVING chowing down on her hay, so we're doing well.

I'm being sure to talk to Lumi a lot, and pet her now and then, but otherwise, let her adjust to being here at all. She's doing really well...

So, I could use the thoughts of others out there that've fostered. What did you do to ensure that your foster got a fantastic life with you? I'm going to give her toys and everything, and make her life as wonderful while she's with me as my other buns...but what else? Anything special I can do to make her more comfortable?

Also, how do you keep from getting too attached, while still giving your foster bun the love they deserve/need?

Have any of you fostered for a friend? What do you do to help your friend handle the temporary loss of their sweetie, while still trying to let them know that their animal is happy? It's such a fine line...

Thanks for all your help and thoughts, guys...

Rosie*

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

Hey Rosie,

I just want to lend you some love and some thoughts.

I have only fostered once, I didn't get attached as I knew where they were going and it wasn't for long. Yes, I worried about their health and wants/needs. I took care of that as I saw necessary, and did what I could to be there for them to make them feel safe, of course Winston and Vega were a bonded pair, so they also had each other.

Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job too! Try not to worry or question yourself too much.

It's just paranoia:?, which is also normal. You are afraid that something will happen in your care. Try to trust your instincts. It will be okay, hon. You know how buns don't like change. But they do adjust.Some better than others.

Wait for more responses, but I think you're doing great. You're just a bit paranoid maybe and just your normal worrying self, because you're so caring.

I wish you the best of luck:hug:. How long are you fostering Lumi?

When Rina's ready, I'd have some pics ready to show her that Lumi's fine.

You said you were giving toys and all that,which sounds great.

 

[maherwoman]

Thank you so so much, Crystal...you're so encouraging.

I'll be fostering her until about July...or five months...or really however long she needs, really!

Hubby came home EXHAUSTED this evening, so the cage will have to wait one more night, but I put together the HUGE carrier (one big enough for three or four kitties), so she's got more space. She looked happy to walk into a carrier that was so big! (We would've put it together last night, but the screws were forgotten at Rina's, as we'd let her borrow the carrier about a week ago...but tonight I realized I could hold it closed with zip ties, hehe!)

I would just do the cage alterations myself, except that I tried, and it's just not a one-person job, unfortunately.

But it'll be okay, for just one more night.

Boy, are the kitties curious about her! Poor Hobbes kept going into Em's room and looking at Cuddles, then coming out here and looking at Lumi...back and forth, and back and forth...he looked like he was trying to figure out if there were really just a second black girl bunny, or if Cuddles was trying to pull a fast one on him! Hehe...

Lumi's adjusting nicely, though...I'm really proud of her...

And Rina's taking things one day/hour/minute at a time...

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

It really sounds fine, Rosie. Don't be too hard on yourself, and I know you do. Take it in stride, you're doing just fine. I think Lumi will be okay for one night in that, it sounds so roomy.

You know you have us too! Never fear, we're near.

The kitties sound so cute, trying to check her out. Is she okay with that? Most buns are, they just ignore them, haha.

 

[maherwoman]

Yeah, Lumi's been pretty laid back about them sniffin her and the carrier. Rina's got a few kitties, so Lumi's used to kitties being around.

Yeah, the carrier's quite big for her...she takes up maybe an eighth of the floorspace, hehe! She seems to be nice and calm and just adjusting to things.

I think things are gonna work out nicely...

 

[maherwoman]

If it's okay with you guys, I'm going to post how things progress with Lumi here, so I have something to give Rina when the time comes that she can handle hearing about her girl without breaking down so badly...

So far, Lumi's doing really well...

Last night, when I opened the carrier doors for her to take her time in going from the smaller to the much larger, she went into the larger one, looked up and appreciated the head room, sniffed and nibbled her food a bit, and some hay, and looked at me as if to say, "Not bad..." and then gave me a big ol' THUMP! for good measure. Hehe!

I think she thinks if she doesn't protest, she's not much good for royalty, hehe!

She's doing good today...just looked in on her a few minutes ago, and got the, "WHAT?!?!" look, hehe! So, she must be doing just fine.

Our feed places near us just started stocking Timothy hay again (instead of that Tiffany stuff), so all the buns are happily chowing down...including little Lumi.

Tonight is cage restructuring night. We've decided to take it and make it yet another Maisie cage clone, since that's what we're used to, and she'll be here long enough to justify it. Not only that, but when she goes home, she'll go home with a Maher family palace, hehe! I'm sure she'll love it!

Oh, and I told Hubby last night, "I think we should assume that we'll have to build a cage for EVERY bunny that passes through that doorway for more than one night..." Hehe!

So, things are good. I turned Lumi's carrier so that it faces Teeny's cage, because I thought it would be reassuring somewhat to see a bun that looks so much like Lilith. Don't know if it matters to her, necessarily, but whatever I can do to make her adjustment easier, ya know?



So, c'mon...I know there are others that have fostered that could have helpful tips, etc. for me...TELL ME!! LEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

:biggrin2:

 

[maherwoman]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

Haley that's an excellent idea!

Infact, Rosie, I would type it up in similar form but add it as a educational thing.

"What to think about before fostering"

Ya know...that's a really great idea. As soon as things calm down a bit more for Rina, as far as dealing with Lumi not being in her house right now (she's breaking down so many times a day...she's having a REALLY tough time of it), I'll do something like that.

Good thinking, guys!

 

[swanlake]

I guess fostering for me was a different situation.



but still, i let myself know that they were not here forever, and i loved them and they will always have a place in my heart. with freddi, he was such a good cuddly bun but i knew he was going to a good home. i was happy for him. After i let him go, i also realized i had changed a life, and saved a life, as freddi was going to be euthanized.

love lumi like she's your own, thats what i do with my fosters. it will be tough letting her go but you know she will be going back to a good home.

I was lucky that none of my fosters have truly pulled my heart strings, i guess if i have a foster that is THE ONE then it will be harder.you know how some bunnies just jump out at you more than others?

 

[maherwoman]

Thanks so much for telling me about your experience, swanlake!

Well, Lumi's doing wonderfully. I walked into Em's room yesterday morning, and she was laying, all stretched out and comfy, in her cage. I'm proud of her ability to adjust so quickly.

Cuddles and SweetPea appear to be happy to have a friend in there, too...so sweet! Those two are so social...

We're going to go buy some toys for Lumi today. Rina's having a housewarming party (that was set up long before this happened), so we're also gonna take toys for their other furkids as our housewarming present. Kitty and bunny toys. I figure since Lumi came to us without any toys, they probably need some...and toys are kind of a luxury thing when you're going through the financial problems Rina and Errik are, so I thought we would do that.

No worries, though...they're not actually funding this bash...everyone's bringing their own money for pizza and drinks.

So, things are going well here...


So, anyone else have any thoughts to lend me?

 

[Leaf]

maherwoman wrote:

- That I'll love Lumi too much (aka getting too attached)

*snort*

Then you'll just be a foster failure. :hearts