im orry. im going to vent here. im really terrified about whats happening to me. really really scared. my body is showing signs of giving up. my heart and chest are painful. i get breatless. my body is weak, shakey, im tired all the time. im just absolutely petrified. yes, im to blame for this. its something my therapist calls voice command hallucinations and they are maing my life a nightmare. i have a doctors appointment tomorrow, and im petrified. he might suggest hospital, he might want a blodo test which will show i need hospital. im so desperate for it to all go away, for all my levels and everything to be completely normal and ok. i know they are not, but i want to be able to makre them ok without being in hiospital. im not sure i can though. im so so scared. i dont want my heart to fail. i dont want a heart attack. i just want it to stop. im sorry.
Flash's Place - 2
- Thread starter Flashy
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Sabine
Well-Known Member
I really wish there was something I could do or say to make it go away. I hope whatever happens tomorrow will be at least a little step on the way to getting better.
Will be thinking of you x
Will be thinking of you x
Sabine
Well-Known Member
Hope today wasn't as tough as you feared
irishbunny
Well-Known Member
OMG Sandy is like Misty's identical twin! :shock:
I'm so sorry you are going through all that horrible stuff
It sounds awful, I really hope they can do something to help you or make you more comfortable. When your on here you seem like such a happy and together person.
I'm so sorry you are going through all that horrible stuff
It sounds awful, I really hope they can do something to help you or make you more comfortable. When your on here you seem like such a happy and together person.
Mai_Roberts
Well-Known Member
I hope you are ok hun x x x x
I hope your feel alot better soon. I wish i could help, i really do xx
I hope your feel alot better soon. I wish i could help, i really do
xxi just wanted to say that im really sorry for my last entry. i was VERY scared that night because my heart was hurting so much.
i did go to the docs yesterday. he said that either i am not as bad as i 'could be' or my body is compensating well (which is what happened last time). i have my tests this week and i just have to hope against hope that things are not as bad as they could be because i still have the stupid sectioning hanging over my head.
on the other hand i have had a really rough day at therapy today, but my therapist has been excellent and helped me through it despite me scaring her at one point when i lost time and zoned out in front of her. I've never done that before in front of her, but maybe its a good thing it happened.
My buns all seem fine. We are finally fighting Dawn's eye infection and that's gone now. Star has jumped on that bandwagon though and we are now treating him too.
I'm sorry I've been rubbishy around here recently, I really just can't. Sorry.
i did go to the docs yesterday. he said that either i am not as bad as i 'could be' or my body is compensating well (which is what happened last time). i have my tests this week and i just have to hope against hope that things are not as bad as they could be because i still have the stupid sectioning hanging over my head.
on the other hand i have had a really rough day at therapy today, but my therapist has been excellent and helped me through it despite me scaring her at one point when i lost time and zoned out in front of her. I've never done that before in front of her, but maybe its a good thing it happened.
My buns all seem fine. We are finally fighting Dawn's eye infection and that's gone now. Star has jumped on that bandwagon though and we are now treating him too.
I'm sorry I've been rubbishy around here recently, I really just can't. Sorry.
Sabine
Well-Known Member
Hey, there's no need to say sorry. You are usually the one to help everybody so why should people not want to listen if you're feeling rough. Glad you got through that hospital visit alright.
penguinsrxcore
Well-Known Member
Wow I just spent an hour reading all that! It was so interesting! And I think I have a handful with just my Pepper!!
Wow, that's impressive. Yeh, they are a handful, but equally my Flash when he was my only bunny was a complete handful too.
And thanks Sabine That appointment wasn't actually at the hospital. Tomorrow is the day.
I need to get Badger's Gotcha day pics up on here.
And thanks Sabine
That appointment wasn't actually at the hospital. Tomorrow is the day. I need to get Badger's Gotcha day pics up on here.
Sabine
Well-Known Member
Oh, I got that wrong. Keep my fingers crossed for tomorrow then x
Sorry, I;m really rubbish at communicating right now, lol. My blood test is in the morning. If I need hospital I should know by tomorrow night. If I don't need hospital then they won't give me the results as an emergency. Fingers crossed for no results
Ninchen
Well-Known Member
Fingers and ears crossed!
Sabine
Well-Known Member
And all bunny toes crossed
No phone call. So things are fine. Sorry for mentioning about it originally. Just wanted to post things were fine, and that I'm probably not going to be around much still right now. Sorry, and thanks for the support.
Sabine
Well-Known Member
I'm glad to hear that. Is there going to be a follow up?
BlueGiants
Well-Known Member
:hug: Thinking of you.... and praying things get better for you. ray: Real soon...
ray: Real soon...Thanks guys
I can tell you a bit more about it now that I know where I am.
The problem is my blood levels. The worry was that I was severely anaemic. At my age my blood level should be 13.5. Anything under 11.5 would be considered anaemic, I would need a tranfusion for anything under 7 and anything under 5 could kill me. I have been down to both 4.1 and 3.4 before and my panic was that I would be down there again. I wasn't though. My blood level came back today and it's 8.9. Which puts me at anaemic, but not severely anaemic, and as far as I'm concerned 8.9 is fine. I'm not at risk of heart attack or stroke or death.
I have now finished my therapy. We had to do diagnostic tests at the start, and at the end, and the ones I did at the end put me as more depressed and more anxious than I was when I started. So basicsally the whole therapy was a fail and a waste of time and I'd have been better off not doing it. I'm not happy and actually it's completely demoralised me because I was really trying. This was also my last shot at help, so that's it. My individual therapist is trying to get me to continue with her, but there is a condition, and I can't meet that, so that's looking unlikely too. A big fat fail!
My buns all seem to be doing well and loving the wamr weather. We've had a couple of eye infections, but they are sorting themselves now. It's looking increasingly like my fosters will not remain my fosters but will become permanent residents. I'm also starting to look at different bonding options for the summer, and hopefully some of that will start soon. So my buns are actually all very positive
The reason my fosters might become mine is because I'm thinking very hard about whether or not to jack in the RSPCA, and if I do, they will become mine. I just have to run their 'Make Mine Chocolate' campaign before I can do anything. (If anyone reads this who has had buns from the RSPCA, then I will always be happy to help if you need it).
Thanks for the support guys. Sorry I haven't/can't be around.
x
I can tell you a bit more about it now that I know where I am.
The problem is my blood levels. The worry was that I was severely anaemic. At my age my blood level should be 13.5. Anything under 11.5 would be considered anaemic, I would need a tranfusion for anything under 7 and anything under 5 could kill me. I have been down to both 4.1 and 3.4 before and my panic was that I would be down there again. I wasn't though. My blood level came back today and it's 8.9. Which puts me at anaemic, but not severely anaemic, and as far as I'm concerned 8.9 is fine. I'm not at risk of heart attack or stroke or death.
I have now finished my therapy. We had to do diagnostic tests at the start, and at the end, and the ones I did at the end put me as more depressed and more anxious than I was when I started. So basicsally the whole therapy was a fail and a waste of time and I'd have been better off not doing it. I'm not happy and actually it's completely demoralised me because I was really trying. This was also my last shot at help, so that's it. My individual therapist is trying to get me to continue with her, but there is a condition, and I can't meet that, so that's looking unlikely too. A big fat fail!
My buns all seem to be doing well and loving the wamr weather. We've had a couple of eye infections, but they are sorting themselves now. It's looking increasingly like my fosters will not remain my fosters but will become permanent residents. I'm also starting to look at different bonding options for the summer, and hopefully some of that will start soon. So my buns are actually all very positive
The reason my fosters might become mine is because I'm thinking very hard about whether or not to jack in the RSPCA, and if I do, they will become mine. I just have to run their 'Make Mine Chocolate' campaign before I can do anything. (If anyone reads this who has had buns from the RSPCA, then I will always be happy to help if you need it).
Thanks for the support guys. Sorry I haven't/can't be around.
x
BlueGiants
Well-Known Member
Really glad to hear everything is so good with the Bunnies! :hug:to you... Hope you can find a better place...
polly
Well-Known Member
Glad you bloods came back higher than expected and chuffed that the eyes are clearing up too what did they give you in the end of did you just persevere with the fucci??
xx
and chuffed that the eyes are clearing up too what did they give you in the end of did you just persevere with the fucci??xx
Wabbitdad12
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Glad to see ya back!
Sorry about the therapy though.
I am glad the buns eyes are sorting themselves out though, thats good to here.
Hang in there!
Sorry about the therapy though.
I am glad the buns eyes are sorting themselves out though, thats good to here.
Hang in there!
