I think this has the makings of a great horror movie...sorta like the Jason and Freddie scarefests.
Can't you just see it now?
Late night. Long dark shadows fall across well-manicured lawns in Middletown, Suburbia. Population 325-1/2 (danged Mrs. Parker is preggers again). One lone child plays innocently in her front yard whilst her parents sit inside watching Jeopardy on tv. The child sits quietly on a recently bleached concrete area, while she plays with her doll (hermetically sealed in Saran Wrap to keep it sanitary). She sings a song to herself, her gloves (also sanitized as to keep the germs well away from her sensitive skin) caressing the cute little doll.
Suddenly the scene becomes ominous.
*cues Jaws music*
Something is lurking in the shadows, pacing back and forth, back and forth as it watches this innocent babe. The hedge, which borders the front property and was (ironically) planted to protect the parents' child from unwanted strangers, gives this thing the camouflage it so requires. It watches, silently, peering through the boughs and foliage. It sees the girl and drools...thick, pasty, loathesome stuff that sticks to the corners of its gaping maw. A quiet gurgle escapes from its throat. The girl is unaware that she is being stalked.
And then it makes its move.
Branches snap and break, leaves fly as the monster shears through the protective hedge and lunges at the innocent child. She sees it and lets out a panicked scream, but it is too late. The monster lurches forward, monocle dangling wildly from it's face as it's hooklike cane grasps her and forces her to the ground. He reaches around, pulls something from his pocket, and laughs maniacally as he hands her his poison of choice: a peanut butter-laden sandwich from hell.
Then he slinks back to the darkness as quickly as he appeared, leaving the only evidence of his butchering spree: a tall black hat and a smiling child, happily devouring his calling card.
Mr. Peanut has struck again.
:biggrin2:. sleep deprived goofiness is the best tho.
