Does it ever get any easier?

[Ainsleys_mommy]

It's been 2 years since I lost my Ainsley and still, every time I think about her, it feels like the hole in my heart gets blown back apart. Does it ever get any easier? Honestly, I think I need professional help for this.

 

[ZRabbits]

You had a bond with your rabbits that everyone hear strives for. My heartfelt condolences for your loss. I haven't lost a rabbit, but I have dogs that I still get choked up thinking of him after 15 years.

Hoping this sorrow turns to sweet memories after a time.

K

 

[Nancy McClelland]

We still miss our dogs, cats, and bunnies that have passed. Can't really say if it does get easier, but we strive to remember the happy times and the love we shared. Don't know if that helps much but it's how I cope.

 

[LakeCondo]

If you're a book person, I suggest looking at the Amazon listings under "pet loss grief". Most that are listed let people look at the first few pages, so you can get an idea of what they offer.

And on-line support, like here at RO, can help too.

 

[Ainsleys_mommy]

I ordered "When all that remains is love" last night. HRS recommended it.

 

[gmas rabbit]

No I don't think that it ever gets easier, especially if you have lost your heart rabbit. We lost Benjamin at Christmas and although I am able to remember him with love and fondness, I also have days that the loss is unbearable. We got a new bunny, Harley was weaned by his bunny mom too early so we got him at 6.5 weeks. We thought he was alright, but he has special needs. Somewhere along the line he has ruptured his knee and has reduced mobility in that leg. Days that he is really bad, I wonder why when I had the perfect rabbit, fat, loving, friendly Mr Wonderful I ended up like this, and then I remember that he is just a little guy needing alot of love. Benjamin actually would have like him. So, I put one foot in front of the other, remember Benjamin with joy and tears and go on with the care of another, different but really needing me.

 

[SablePoint]

I know how you feel. In November last year, my 9 year old rabbit, Mr. Bun Bun, passed away and it still kills me. I keep having recurring dreams of the night Bun Bun died. Dreams like he didn't die instead, "it was another rabbit" or Bun Bun woke up. But only just to wake up to reality, not being able to wake up to see his adorable face looking up at me anymore. These dreams stress me out and make me cry and strangely, I've been waking up with tears down my face. I think I'm going to see a doctor.

 

[jujub793]

Pets are people too to those that love them and all the grieving processes Still have to be gone through before you can truly move on. But time is the healer, and memories will sustain you and eventually bring you comfort. It will get better, you just have to trust in that.

 

[Ainsleys_mommy]

So I've bought the book, bought a memorial frame (etchedinmyheart.com- Bob has been great to work with and is putting exactly what I want on the frame), made an appt to see a grief counselor, and am planning on planting a flower garden in memory of Ainsley. I'm going to definitely plant Marigolds because for some reason they remind me of her. I feel like I'm on my way to being able to let her rest in peace.

 

[ZRabbits]

Ainsleys_mommy wrote:

So I've bought the book, bought a memorial frame (etchedinmyheart.com- Bob has been great to work with and is putting exactly what I want on the frame), made an appt to see a grief counselor, and am planning on planting a flower garden in memory of Ainsley. I'm going to definitely plant Marigolds because for some reason they remind me of her. I feel like I'm on my way to being able to let her rest in peace.

So glad to hear you found your way to turning your grief for Ainsley into something positive. They grab our heart and when they leave, there is such a hole. I love the garden idea. Hope you post pics of those beautiful Marigolds.

K

 

[MandyK]

It gets easier in the sense that it doesn't hurt as bad as the first day, but you will always feel a hole in your heart. I got professional help when I lost my dog of 16 years. It really helped. She showed me how to remember him and have him involved in my life everyday, so I would never feel like I was forgetting him or moving on from him. Lots of vets offer free or inexpensive grief counselling. Even though it has been a couple years, I would look into this. It could help make you feel a lot better, and there's nothing your bunny would have wanted more than for you to be happy.

 

[MILU]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

When I lost my 1st bunny I couldn't accept it (although I've always tried not to keep crying for him, thinking I should let him rest *in peace*) and asked my mother to bring me another male bunny exactly like Fedorento (that was his name). It was very hard in the first weeks (esp the 2 first) because this new bunny behaved very differently... but soon our love got so strong that made me accept that my bunny Fedorento had to leave and rest. I transferred my love to my new bunny, MILU, and it worked very well.
Some years later MILU left me too, and of course I miss him and I miss having that wonderful friend again, with whom I could communicate without words, but I accept a little better the fact that things happen when they have to. Of course there's the feeling that I wanted to have done more for him, I wanted to have shown more love, etc, but sometimes I guess he knows it and I'm very glad when he visits my dreams. He always has a very good message to tell me - that he's alive, and we'll meet and play again.
THAT gives me strength to go on. A lot of my dreams come true and I trust them. I know we'll meet again, when the time is right.
I don't know if my belief is of any help..

Once I read a thread by someone who really missed her bunny too.. she was really, really upset.. turned out that she started to help bunnies in need, now she has a great organization to help bunnies and she's very happy! I myself try to help animals when I can. Not yet as much as that girl, but someday I hope I do. It certainly helps!

 

[LakeCondo]

The older we get, the more losses we experience. But we have to know that those we've lost want us to be happy. And if we can do something in their name [even if we don't tell anyone that's why we're doing it] it helps.

 

[SnowyShiloh]

My sweet Tallulah died almost 4 years ago (!) and I still cry whenever I think of her. Her death was the hardest thing I've gone through, by a long shot, even though both of my grandmothers have died and I've been through other tough things in my life. She was only 7 months old and was a very special bunny. My first bunny died at 7 years and although I loved him just as much as her, I always have felt that he had a nice, full life, while hers was cut so short. I've lost one other bunny, too, he died at 2 years after fighting EC for 6 months so I had time to get used to the idea of him dying and was very relieved that his death was fairly quick and painless and he didn't suffer from many of the things that EC bunnies get before they die.

Now I fear the day that my sweet Rory will die. He is my heart bunny and will be 5 next month. I know I will be completely shattered and devastated when it happens. I'm probably crazier about him than any other bunny (or animal) I've ever known.

 

[Ainsleys_mommy]

What is EC?

 

[SnowyShiloh]

Sorry for not being clear- EC is short for E. cuniculi, a brain parasite that most bunnies have been exposed to but that some get sick from (ear infections, etc) and a few get REALLY sick from and die, like Skyler

 

[TinysMom]

It's been four years now since I've lost Tiny. Does it get easier - sometimes I think so - and then sometimes - I'll think of him and just "lose it".

So no...not always.

 

[Nancy McClelland]

It's been 7 years since Commodore Stockton passed and a day doesn't go by that I don't think of my little Budha Boy. The thing I miss the most is when he'd jump up on my lap so he could help with the paper. Every time I hear Dire Straits "So far Away", I think of him and still think that it was so unfair having to say goodbye.

 

[Ainsleys_mommy]

It's getting easier to think about Ainsley without feeling like the grief is going to overwhelm me. I am able to remember the happiness she brought me without lamenting the loss of it. I now have 16 bunnies and have decided to show Hollands, as well as Netherland Dwarfs. My rabbitry is named "Ainsley Willow Rabbitry" in honor of my baby girl.

I keep getting signs from Ainsley that let me know she's still by my side, watching everything that's going on. We got Ainsley from a breeder by the last name of Albright. They stopped showing rabbits, so I just figured I'd never hear of them again. About 2 weeks ago I bought a rabbit from a lady about an hour from my home. Alice is a Netherland Dwarf, so isn't even the same breed as Ainsley (who was a Holland), and guess who the breeder of Alice was... Albright. Then guess which book Alice chewed up because her cage was too close to my bookcase.. The book "When Only the Love Remains." There were four other books touching her cage and that was the one she chewed up. Then I had a random dream about buying an old farm house and putting up a tire swing... The sign I bought for the rabbitry to display at shows depicts Ainsley under a willow tree with daffodils, and in the distance there's another willow tree with a tire swing! I didn't even say anything to the lady about having a tire swing, she just put it there on her own.

You may think I'm crazy, but it's just too many coincidences in my opinion. I'm just glad I'm finally healing. It's not less painful, it's just more happiness to counteract the pain.

 

[katherine at sacred stories]

Ainsley's Mommie--my heart goes out to you! So sorry for your loss and so happy that you seem to be doing so well now.

I am coming to believe that there is something profoundly intense and spiritual about our connection when we're really bonded with a rabbit. I lost my precious bunny recently and I have been crying (and wailing) so much that I have also thought "maybe I need professional help." I don't think you're crazy at all...the "signs" you've experienced are beautiful and underscore how closely your spirits are entwined...I loved reading about it. Maybe Ainsley's spirit is at work:} Maybe she's going to come to you again (or has already)in another bunnie

It is wonderful that you're helping and loving so many rabbits now--it must be healing. It sounds like you're doing great. I'm not ready for a new rabbit yet but I do feel lost without a bunny running around my houseI have a little alter for my bunny, Scout, with pictures I've painted of her and memorials I've written and treats and toys and her water dish. Books have helped and this site is helping me to see I'm not alone in how I feel. But this loss is deep and, I guess, it will just take time. This poem sums it up for me:

My heart still
aches with sadness
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to loose you,
No one will ever know.

I'm not always ready to say the next poem, but when I can, it helps:

No coming, no going.
No after, no before.
I feel you close to me.
I release you to be free.
For I am in you
and you are in me.

Thank you for sharing your story. Wishing you many more wonders and adventures! And Binkie Free, Ainsley!!!