A vegetable seller tried to give me a bunny!

[ChinaBun]

I had an unpleasant encounter this evening. Iwent out at 6 pm to buy some veggies for Qingqing ("cheeng-cheeng") andget some food for myself. There's a vegetable market very close to myon-campus apartment. There's about eight vendors there, and they allknow me. I'm hard to miss, of course! I'm the only white person whoever goes in there. The Australian teacher at my school also shopsthere sometimes, but she's ethnic Chinese so she blends in (until shesays something). The vendors also know that I get the vegetables for myrabbit, because when I brought her from my old place to my new placethe taxi stopped by the market so I took her in there to show them. Icould hear them saying what a big rabbit she is. (My Chinese is notthat good, but I can understand those words!)

Sometimes when I go shopping, the vendors vie for my attention, showingme carrots and other veggies and saying that rabbits like them. I trieda turnip because a vendor said that rabbits like them, but he waswrong. There are two vendors I go to more often than the others,because they are friendly to me and they sometimes give me for free theouter parts of cabbages and cauliflowers. This evening when I went toget more veggies (I go every other day), one man had a baby rabbit forme! I couldn't believe my eyes! He tried over and over to give it tome, and even put it in a plastic bag for me. He showed where he hadkept it, in a box with some cabbage leaves. I told him I didn't wantit. I told him my Qingqing didn't want a friend. I held the bunny ands/he felt healthy, not skinny. I said I would think about it and seehim tomorrow. I had already picked out some carrots,cucumbers, a cabbage and some beans. I paid him and he handedme my bags PLUS the bag with the bunny in it! I tried to refuse thebun, but he wouldn't take "no" for an answer. So I left him holding thebags and turned to leave. I walked 20 feet away to another favoritevendor and got some green, leafy vegetables. While I was paying, hecame up with my two bags of veggies and said sorry. I left quite upsetabout leaving the little bunny behind, but also upset at beingmanipulated into almost taking a rabbit I didn't want.

Why didn't I take the rabbit? When I read these lists, I see that mostof you have two or more rabbits and sometimes I think that would benice. OTOH, I had no reason to think that my rabbit would like acompanion. Several months ago she was introduced to a baby rabbit thata little girl in my apartment complex had, and she charged at the babybun. Also, my rabbit is a girl, and I have no way of knowing whichgender the gift bunny is. Nor is it likely that I can get my Qingqingspayed here in China. Qingy has full run of the apartment when I'm homeand I don't want to take that away from her. I thought for more than amonth before I got my rabbit, and I don't want to get another onewithout time for thought.

The reason I subtitled this "A cultural misunderstanding" is thatprobably the vendor thought he was doing a great favor forme.He knows I like rabbits, because I feed my rabbit so well, so hethought he'd give me a gift of another rabbit. He wouldn't take "no"for an answer because it was a gift for me. Also, he may have thought Iwas being polite when I said "no", so he disregarded it. This is partof Chinese culture, to say "no" when you are offered something that youwant, just to be polite. You say "no" two or three times, then the nexttime they offer it you say "yes". He may have also thought it would begood to be nice to a foreigner. He would get "face" from the othervendors. My actions took "face" away, but I was not going to be forcedinto something I didn't want to do. Yes, I do regret a little nottaking the baby, because I have no idea what will happen to it now. Butthe reasons for not taking it are more compelling.

Thanks for listening.

Nancy

 

[Snuggys Mom]

Nancy, you shouldn't feel bad at all.You have to do what's best for you and Qingqing. Introducinga new rabbit would turn her world upside down. I sometimeswish I hadn't done that to Snuggy. She became a differentrabbit when I got the others. She's jealous and it'sunderstandable, and it really wasn't fair for me to do that toher.

Laura

 

[Bunnys_rule63]

Don't feel bad, it must be hard leaving a bunnywhen you don't know whats going to happen to it but you put your bunnyfirst which is the best decision. After all, if it had been a male youmight have ended up with lots of baby Quingquings!

 

[Pet_Bunny]

Ni Hoa!

You could have brought home more problems than just a babybunny. What you said you didn't know the gender ofthe baby, so risking more babies is possible. Bonding twounfixed females could be tough too. Another thing isyou knew nothing about the new bunny, andyou would have to quarantinethe babyfromQingy until you found that he/she is really healthy and disease free.

Rainbows!

 

[Stephanie]

Try not to feel bad (although I know I would too....).

I'm glad you thought long and hard before getting one rabbit, and knowthat getting another is a lot of work, and that they don't always bondas well as one would like.

One other question though...pictures of your Quinqing??

 

[Elf Mommy]

You were definitely right not to take the bun with all the considerations others have listed above.

I also agree that it was a cultural misunderstanding. Is there anything you can do to help him save face?

 

[ChinaBun]

Thanks for the replies! More than 24 hours havepassed and I still feel that I did the right thing by refusing the babybunny. I've been watching Qingqing play (and just lie around) and Ijust get the feeling that she's happy here on her own.

I'll post pictures whenever I figure out how to use my digital camera!Taking photos is easy, but I've got to read the instruction booklet andfigure out how to get them to my computer and then from there to thislist. I've only had my camera for six months! (nervous chuckle at herown ineptness)

Nancy

 

[mygrl2k3]

Don't feel bad about not knowing how.. It tookme a long time to figure it out and sometimes i still cant do it causemy pictures are too big or something, and dont ask me to program a tvor radio or clock on my car.. I can check my oil and stuff but when itcomes to the electronic stuff. i do this... I needhelp!!! lol

Cristy

 

[Nicky Snow]

Laura wrote:

Nancy, you shouldn't feel bad at all. You have todo what's best for you and Qingqing. Introducing a new rabbitwould turn her world upside down. I sometimes wish I hadn'tdone that to Snuggy. She became a different rabbit when I gotthe others. She's jealous and it's understandable, and itreally wasn't fair for me to do that to her.

Laura

i agree with Laura, and i did the same thing to my Rue, (gettinganother bun) and itwas bad. Rue was quite upset for ages, andshe still is jealous.

Nicole

 

[BunnyMom]

Nancy, you did the right thing - you putQingqing's needs first and that is most important. But Iwould've felt bad in the same situation.

I know it's a different culture, but I still think it's kind of odd togive a gift like that without checking with the person first.

 

[ChinaBun]

After my morning class yesterday I took two ofmy students with me when I bought more vegetables for Qingqing. On theway over I told the story to my students, and asked them to explain tothe vegetable seller and his wife that in my culture when someone says"no", we mean "no". They talked to them while I bought vegetables atother stalls, but it seemed like a nice talk. The students explainedthat we were from different cultures, and explained why I didn't wantanother rabbit. I think everything is OK now.

Though I have to agree with BunnyMom that I still think it's odd to tryto force a gift on someone. I guess that's my culture talking. Plus, Ithink it's a serious thing to take care of an animal.

Got to get ready for my next class. It's a film appreciation class andI'll be showing the last part of "Remember the Titans". Then I think Iwill start "October Sky".

Nancy