TinysMom
Well-Known Member
This is an "exercise" that I heard about a number of years ago. I've been debating on sharing it here - but I decided to go ahead and do so.
When we were living in Alaska - I went to a women's conference for our church. I think it was 1998 or 1999 when I attended this particular conference/retreat.
The main speaker was talking about going after the things that are important in our lives - and how do we know what it is we want to do and be. So many times we are "cluttered" in our minds by the activities and responsibilities that surround us....that we can't see the important stuff because it is blocked by the urgent stuff.
She talked about picturing your funeral - 20 or 30 years from now. At the funeral - the people who mean the most to you get up to speak about what they remember about you...how you touched them - and the lives of others around you.
Who would do the speaking?
What would they say about you?
And then she had you look at your life now - who would speak about you NOW - and what would they say about you NOW?
I didn't like what I saw when I did that exercise. (Sometimes I still don't like it).
She talked about taking what you wanted them to say about you in the future - and working towards becoming that person you wanted to be and you wanted to be remembered for.
Since then - I've done this exercise a number of times....I do it at least once a year - there have been times when I've done it quarterly. Whenever I do it - it seems like there are things (and or people) I've dropped from my life - and things/people I've added to my life or focused on more.
I have to say that I like myself better now than I did when I first did that exercise and while a few things change every time I do it - they're usually minor things. THe major things tend to stay the same...
This also reminds me of something that happened - I've been thinking a lot about it since the anniversary of 9/11.....
Have you ever watched some people and think, "I would like to be like this?". I used to do it and put myself down ... now I do it and use it to set a goal for myself...if I want to change in an area. (I need to find someone really organized to live next to me and help me in that area).
Anyway - a week or two after the attacks on 9/11 - when we were living on Andrews AFB....I went to the BX (Base Exchange - where they sold things like clothing, etc. - kinda like a combination of a Walmart/KMart/Macy's as far as quality, etc). The BX was just opening up that day...and as I got there - I saw this older woman standing outside. Older = 65 or 70 maybe.
I stopped and asked her if everything was ok - if she needed anything. She smiled and said that everything was fine - but that she could not go into the BX as they were not allowing retirees in the store - just active duty military and their families. I asked if she needed a ride somewhere and she explained that her husband had dropped her off and went to get groceries at the commisary and he would be right back.
I asked if I could help her with anything at all - and she just smiled and said she was fine. She explained that the stores had been sold out of American flags and she and her husband wanted one - so they came on base (which meant a wait in the line at the entrance) so they could try to get one.
When I asked her if she would like me to go in and buy her one - she stated that another customer had checked and the BX was sold out also.
Now - here was an older lady - who I could tell was a bit tired - still smiling and cheerful in spite of the fact that she was told she could not go someplace. She didn't demand her way in and say, "My husband earned it by being a VETERAN..." She didn't ask for sympathy. In fact - she asked me how MY family was doing with all that was going on and what my husband was doing...
She had a peace about her....there was something that made me just want to stay with her - to be enveloped in her self-confidence and peace.
It was like things could happen around her- but they couldn't touch the peace that was inside of her.
I share this - because I think of her often when I do this exercise....
Anyway - it was just an interesting exercise to throw out there if anyone wants to do it. No need to share anything here....but I know for me - it has helped me to keep my life on track with what is important to me (that and my life mission statement.....but that is another post for some other day).
When we were living in Alaska - I went to a women's conference for our church. I think it was 1998 or 1999 when I attended this particular conference/retreat.
The main speaker was talking about going after the things that are important in our lives - and how do we know what it is we want to do and be. So many times we are "cluttered" in our minds by the activities and responsibilities that surround us....that we can't see the important stuff because it is blocked by the urgent stuff.
She talked about picturing your funeral - 20 or 30 years from now. At the funeral - the people who mean the most to you get up to speak about what they remember about you...how you touched them - and the lives of others around you.
Who would do the speaking?
What would they say about you?
And then she had you look at your life now - who would speak about you NOW - and what would they say about you NOW?
I didn't like what I saw when I did that exercise. (Sometimes I still don't like it).
She talked about taking what you wanted them to say about you in the future - and working towards becoming that person you wanted to be and you wanted to be remembered for.
Since then - I've done this exercise a number of times....I do it at least once a year - there have been times when I've done it quarterly. Whenever I do it - it seems like there are things (and or people) I've dropped from my life - and things/people I've added to my life or focused on more.
I have to say that I like myself better now than I did when I first did that exercise and while a few things change every time I do it - they're usually minor things. THe major things tend to stay the same...
This also reminds me of something that happened - I've been thinking a lot about it since the anniversary of 9/11.....
Have you ever watched some people and think, "I would like to be like this?". I used to do it and put myself down ... now I do it and use it to set a goal for myself...if I want to change in an area. (I need to find someone really organized to live next to me and help me in that area).
Anyway - a week or two after the attacks on 9/11 - when we were living on Andrews AFB....I went to the BX (Base Exchange - where they sold things like clothing, etc. - kinda like a combination of a Walmart/KMart/Macy's as far as quality, etc). The BX was just opening up that day...and as I got there - I saw this older woman standing outside. Older = 65 or 70 maybe.
I stopped and asked her if everything was ok - if she needed anything. She smiled and said that everything was fine - but that she could not go into the BX as they were not allowing retirees in the store - just active duty military and their families. I asked if she needed a ride somewhere and she explained that her husband had dropped her off and went to get groceries at the commisary and he would be right back.
I asked if I could help her with anything at all - and she just smiled and said she was fine. She explained that the stores had been sold out of American flags and she and her husband wanted one - so they came on base (which meant a wait in the line at the entrance) so they could try to get one.
When I asked her if she would like me to go in and buy her one - she stated that another customer had checked and the BX was sold out also.
Now - here was an older lady - who I could tell was a bit tired - still smiling and cheerful in spite of the fact that she was told she could not go someplace. She didn't demand her way in and say, "My husband earned it by being a VETERAN..." She didn't ask for sympathy. In fact - she asked me how MY family was doing with all that was going on and what my husband was doing...
She had a peace about her....there was something that made me just want to stay with her - to be enveloped in her self-confidence and peace.
It was like things could happen around her- but they couldn't touch the peace that was inside of her.
I share this - because I think of her often when I do this exercise....
Anyway - it was just an interesting exercise to throw out there if anyone wants to do it. No need to share anything here....but I know for me - it has helped me to keep my life on track with what is important to me (that and my life mission statement.....but that is another post for some other day).
