What can I do to help- any suggestions?

[Blaze_Amita]

Firstly I just want to say that I haven't the faintest Idea how the wording on this is going to come out, and people will probably get confused.

I have this co-worker, Kevin,that over the 4th of July shutdown from work, his electritian screwed up the wiring in his house and literally burned it to the ground. Kevin and I are both known on our line at work as the horse people. We work together very well. Anyway, the little studio apartment he moved into in the meantime is tiny and he can't get alot of things into it. He got the basics but I know he needs more he's just a bit shy or stubborn to ask for any kind of help.

The second thing, Kevin had a really bad week off, was his truck got ran off the road. A drunk driver with only the passengerside headlight on, at first he thought it was a motorcycle. Once he figured out it wasn't he tried to run on the side of the road since he had a 4 wheel drive pickup, but it pushed him too far off the road and ripped his oilpan and a few other odds and ends off the bottomside of his truck. His point was to not kill the other people that were drunk since they were in a tiny car his truck would have mangled that car hitting it. He just didn't know the side of the road very well.

So now he's stuck in a little tiny apartment. I'm working on getting him a working laptop since he's got no where for a desktop(one bedroom studio/efficiency) and I bring him to and from work since we work the same schedule and he's only a couple of miles out of the way for me and he trusts me, like I trust him. He does work days off whereas I don't work all of them but I'm working on getting him a ride home on nights that I don't work, I can still get him there.I'm also talking to my mom about him possibly coming over to run laundry at our place so he doesn't have to carry it down the road to a laundromat.

Anyone that's good with PR or Human communication skills, how do I figure out what he still might need and can help get for him to get him back on his feet without just asking him? I'm not that forward.

I feel terrible, he was just going to live in his horse barn, sinc ehe had a second electric line for the barn seperate from the house, but the power company shut both lines down, so he's got to move his horses as well, since they were all in electric fence and he's not sure which of his foals/mares will test the fence.

*shakes head* I know what it's like to have something burn down, the horse barn I was at in NY burnt down and we lost 1 rabbit, 2 sheep and 3 ponies in that one. It was ugly trying to come back from that, little less your whole house and everything you own.

Ideas, anyone???

 

[pla725]

Sorry to hear of your friend's run of bad luck. Is there anyway he can sue the electrician for losses not covered by insurance? Did he have insurance? I guess he didn't get the license of the driver who ran him off the road. Insurance still might help cover the loss of the truck. Sorry I can't think of anything else.

Perhaps some kind of collection of basic goods or gift cards can be taken up.

 

[Blaze_Amita]

We have taken up a collection of money for him at work, over $100 now.He's still buried in paperwork for insurance on both the house and the truck and working 12+ hours a day at work(yes very ugly schedule) and he works 6 days a week with only Sunday off. Most places aren't open on Sundays so he takes short on sleep during the week to deal with insurance companies and what not and sleeps most of the day Sunday. I can read his tiredness when he gets in my truck and then watch him go through the work night and he's our go-to guy to fix machines. He knows I try but I can only do so much I don't know the machine's like he does. He's trying to teach me, and now another new guy the machine.

But thank you. I'm frustrated seeing him this frustrated and tired. Maybe it's because I've got a soft spot for people I call my friend/buddy. Him and Farren(the*Bunny* guy)I give shoulder messages to at work so long as it's running good and I have the free time between lightweights and blowoffs(we work on the packaging end at Nestle/Hot Pockets) to try and keep them relaxed.

 

[usawan]

sometimes just the little things you do, like giving him a ride, letting him do his laundry at your place, even showing basic human compassion to help him out...probably mean the world to him, even if pride doesn't let him show it. so don't fear, i'm sure he is grateful to you for everything you are doing for him, even if he hasn't asked for any help. you don't want to overdo it, though, because he might feel embarrassed from being in a vulnerable place having to already rely on you for so much- even if you don't think it's a lot at all, or if you honestly want to give more help (i know personally i would feel quite indebted and have no idea how to repay such kindness).

maybe you can bring him something homemade, like leftovers, or invite him over for dinner (per your comfort level) because i'm sure with a schedule like that he isn't eating well, and if i were down on my luck i'd be most grateful for a home-cooked meal, and a few minutes to just unwind and enjoy food and friends and not have to think about the insurance papers or work (that being said i love to eat though...).

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Seconding the above suggestion about meals... "I'm lonely/bored/whatever, come on over!"

Then feed him

Some men are very proud, and would consider this charity... my partner being one of them. It's been my experience that they sometimes find it hard to accept any form of help/caring, so I try to be as casual about it as possible .