GoinBackToCali
Well-Known Member
Here's the link to the original thread..
http://www.rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=35571&forum_id=5
If your unfamiliar with the thread, my third son, Jarred drowned Saturday.. he was best friends with my son and they referred to each other as "My undercover brother from another mother"
I guess it is time for an update..
Jarred's Celebration of Life was Tuesday night at 6, but I will get into that a little bit later.
As I said before.. Jarred was here 24/7.. the family has often said throughout this ordeal that this was his second home. The effect Jarred had in life on my son's behavior, continues after his death.
After the service, Big Momma (she is Mr. Harrington's wife, and she makes me look like a petite flower, all the kids love her, so she is called Big Momma).. came up to me and wrapped her arms about my shoulders and told me that she was consoling Blake and that she told him how proud Jarred was of him, how far he has come with his behavior and socialization. She told me Blake said *I know Big Momma, and I am gonna make Jarred even prouder, I am never ever gonna be that other boy again*
Tears.. just streaming tears from my face.... tears..
Last night, we ate shrimp at 2 am.. in Jarred's honor. Jarred loved shrimp and I had bought a shrimp party platter and put in the freezer for the boys this weekend.
Lisa has often told the story of due to her cancer scare, and massive female issues, she was told she would not have anymore kids after Matty and Duh.. she got pregnant with Jarred, much to her surprise. When she was pregnant with Jarred, some of his prenatal tests showed he had some sort of genetic abnormality and would not be born normal. He was..he was our perfect little Jarred. He was ALWAYS called MiracleBaby and Wonderboy. Blake knew of this story, he had heard it many a time.
As we sat there eating shrimp, Blake said to me *I don't think Jarred was human.* My immediate reaction was *Excuse me?*... *Yeah mom.. I don't think Wonderboy was human, I think he was one of those hidden angels God sends down..like you see on TV, and he did his job and God took him for somebody else*
I asked Blake what did he think Jarred's job was.. he said he can't speak for the others Jarred touched..but for his part, Jarred taught him that he is stronger than his torment (meaning his mental issues). Those were Blake's exact words..words of an old soul.. things I did not think my son was capable of thinking or expressing.
Blake is acting differently.. his words are kinder, his thoughts sweeter, his actions gentler. It struck me today that as I looked at my son's face, he looked much older in the face than he did less than a week ago. I think Big Momma said it best when she said * These babies innocence was lost Saturday, the naive kids we had Saturday morning are forever gone, and forever changed.* That is so true. I asked Blake how he was, and he told me that he will never act that way again.. he wants people to say the things about him that they said about Jarred at the service, he wants to be loved like that when he reaches old age..
I have had grown men cry not just for Jarred, but also for Blake.. wondering and praying that Blake makes it through.. that he does not revert. Grown frickin men, that barely knew my son.. I knew Blake had changed, but I never knew it was so obvious to everyone else.
Today Jarred's fav movie was on.. Robin Hood: Men in Tights.. I watched it and laughed and cried. Today was a bad day for me, and for Blake, and for Rick and Christian. I had anxiety attacks and cried and slept the majority of the day. I woke up and Blake was curled up on the end of my bed with me..
Lisa called this evening, and wanted to ask me a question, but not offend me. I am preparing for the worst, and she wanted to know if since this was Jarred's second home, and he loved us all so much.. could some of his ashes be scatterred on my property, as he will be scatterred on theirs.. the boys loved roaming through the woods and running around the barns.
Of course I said yes. She also did something some of you all may find morbid. She bought select family members these "remains jewelry" and Blake will be getting a sterling silver caspule with a chinese dragon on it, (Jarred loved dragons) and an elegant chain.
As for the service.. if I said there was less than a 1000 people there, I would be lying. It was held in a church gymnasium, the kind that have the track around the top. Once everone was in, the Pastor opened up the track, and the entire 8th grade football team stood vigil along the wall behind the service, the FFA officers in their dress blues along to the right wall, and the 4-H officers in their dress greens along the left wall. Blake was a council member, co-sharing a position with Jarred.Lisa, Jarred's mom, likened the sobbing kids up above as guardian angels looking over everything.
They seated the family in the center, and everyone else behind them and in sections to the left and right. Big Momma and I positioned ourselves in a seat at the front of each side section, eyes on the family, ready to swoop in. Lisa was brave.. Tim was brave.. Matty, home from the Army saluted his little brother, and Duh just sobbed. They were far more braver than I think I could ever be..
The football and track teams retired Jarred's numbers, and framed them for the trophy case at the school.. there were tributes read aloud.. literally hundreds.. and a box with index cards so the kids could write their best memory of Jarred. It was overflowing.
The thing that struck me the most is how everyone said Jarred was one of their favorite friends.. always had a smile on his face and never said an unkind thing about anyone. They were right. Sometimes I wonder how such a wonderful kid could not only find my troubled son, but remain friends with him.There were so many other kids Jarred could have been best friends with, who were far less effort and easier to be around. I feel so privledged that God shared that boy with us, if only for 4 years. He made such a difference in our lives.
At the conclusion of the service.. Granny Hester, our 4-H leader gave all the 4-H kids a green balloon, and they released them into the twilight sky.. it was a somber, bittersweet moment..
Some of the "inner circle" went back to Jarred's house.. some of the kids who couldn't even stand each other( Jarred's inner circle was a testimony has to the friendlieness of this boy, he had friends in all walks of HS life).. working together to build a bonfire. Lisa did something that struck me as odd, but to each his own, she gave the kids Jarred's funeral sprays, as there was no graveside to place them on. They threw them on the bonfire. We parents stood on the porch and silently watched this group of kids burn those flowers, hold hands, and sing *I Can Only Imagine*, fighting and bickering set aside.. be it the adults or the kids.. it was all petty and trite..Had Jarred been there.. he would have been loving this.. everyone getting along and having a party..
It was a fitting tribute to a well loved boy..
I am so gonna miss those danged freckles..
Here are some pics I would like to share..
This is the pig shaving PAR-TAY! a few weeks back. My son is in the back of the pig, keeping the pig steady in position, Jarred is in the front, Jarred's dad doing the shaving, and my husbands arms holding the snare.. this was the weekend Ty. Jarred and Blake all made up and spent every weekend from that point forward together..
Here is a better shot of Ty with his Daddy Greg, who we all just love.. despite being told he is evil by his ex wife, whom we met first..
The last weekend all the boys were together.. Blake stuffed Ty and Jarred in our dog crates and wouldnt let them out...
Those bootyful freckles..and the baby face from 4 years ago when we first met him..at this very show..
The collage I made..
The one Ty's mom made..
The one Kim, Eddie's wife made..
And the tribute song all the kids sang for Jarred around the bonfire..
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k[/ame]
http://www.rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=35571&forum_id=5
If your unfamiliar with the thread, my third son, Jarred drowned Saturday.. he was best friends with my son and they referred to each other as "My undercover brother from another mother"
I guess it is time for an update..
Jarred's Celebration of Life was Tuesday night at 6, but I will get into that a little bit later.
As I said before.. Jarred was here 24/7.. the family has often said throughout this ordeal that this was his second home. The effect Jarred had in life on my son's behavior, continues after his death.
After the service, Big Momma (she is Mr. Harrington's wife, and she makes me look like a petite flower, all the kids love her, so she is called Big Momma).. came up to me and wrapped her arms about my shoulders and told me that she was consoling Blake and that she told him how proud Jarred was of him, how far he has come with his behavior and socialization. She told me Blake said *I know Big Momma, and I am gonna make Jarred even prouder, I am never ever gonna be that other boy again*
Tears.. just streaming tears from my face.... tears..
Last night, we ate shrimp at 2 am.. in Jarred's honor. Jarred loved shrimp and I had bought a shrimp party platter and put in the freezer for the boys this weekend.
Lisa has often told the story of due to her cancer scare, and massive female issues, she was told she would not have anymore kids after Matty and Duh.. she got pregnant with Jarred, much to her surprise. When she was pregnant with Jarred, some of his prenatal tests showed he had some sort of genetic abnormality and would not be born normal. He was..he was our perfect little Jarred. He was ALWAYS called MiracleBaby and Wonderboy. Blake knew of this story, he had heard it many a time.
As we sat there eating shrimp, Blake said to me *I don't think Jarred was human.* My immediate reaction was *Excuse me?*... *Yeah mom.. I don't think Wonderboy was human, I think he was one of those hidden angels God sends down..like you see on TV, and he did his job and God took him for somebody else*
I asked Blake what did he think Jarred's job was.. he said he can't speak for the others Jarred touched..but for his part, Jarred taught him that he is stronger than his torment (meaning his mental issues). Those were Blake's exact words..words of an old soul.. things I did not think my son was capable of thinking or expressing.
Blake is acting differently.. his words are kinder, his thoughts sweeter, his actions gentler. It struck me today that as I looked at my son's face, he looked much older in the face than he did less than a week ago. I think Big Momma said it best when she said * These babies innocence was lost Saturday, the naive kids we had Saturday morning are forever gone, and forever changed.* That is so true. I asked Blake how he was, and he told me that he will never act that way again.. he wants people to say the things about him that they said about Jarred at the service, he wants to be loved like that when he reaches old age..
I have had grown men cry not just for Jarred, but also for Blake.. wondering and praying that Blake makes it through.. that he does not revert. Grown frickin men, that barely knew my son.. I knew Blake had changed, but I never knew it was so obvious to everyone else.
Today Jarred's fav movie was on.. Robin Hood: Men in Tights.. I watched it and laughed and cried. Today was a bad day for me, and for Blake, and for Rick and Christian. I had anxiety attacks and cried and slept the majority of the day. I woke up and Blake was curled up on the end of my bed with me..
Lisa called this evening, and wanted to ask me a question, but not offend me. I am preparing for the worst, and she wanted to know if since this was Jarred's second home, and he loved us all so much.. could some of his ashes be scatterred on my property, as he will be scatterred on theirs.. the boys loved roaming through the woods and running around the barns.
Of course I said yes. She also did something some of you all may find morbid. She bought select family members these "remains jewelry" and Blake will be getting a sterling silver caspule with a chinese dragon on it, (Jarred loved dragons) and an elegant chain.
As for the service.. if I said there was less than a 1000 people there, I would be lying. It was held in a church gymnasium, the kind that have the track around the top. Once everone was in, the Pastor opened up the track, and the entire 8th grade football team stood vigil along the wall behind the service, the FFA officers in their dress blues along to the right wall, and the 4-H officers in their dress greens along the left wall. Blake was a council member, co-sharing a position with Jarred.Lisa, Jarred's mom, likened the sobbing kids up above as guardian angels looking over everything.
They seated the family in the center, and everyone else behind them and in sections to the left and right. Big Momma and I positioned ourselves in a seat at the front of each side section, eyes on the family, ready to swoop in. Lisa was brave.. Tim was brave.. Matty, home from the Army saluted his little brother, and Duh just sobbed. They were far more braver than I think I could ever be..
The football and track teams retired Jarred's numbers, and framed them for the trophy case at the school.. there were tributes read aloud.. literally hundreds.. and a box with index cards so the kids could write their best memory of Jarred. It was overflowing.
The thing that struck me the most is how everyone said Jarred was one of their favorite friends.. always had a smile on his face and never said an unkind thing about anyone. They were right. Sometimes I wonder how such a wonderful kid could not only find my troubled son, but remain friends with him.There were so many other kids Jarred could have been best friends with, who were far less effort and easier to be around. I feel so privledged that God shared that boy with us, if only for 4 years. He made such a difference in our lives.
At the conclusion of the service.. Granny Hester, our 4-H leader gave all the 4-H kids a green balloon, and they released them into the twilight sky.. it was a somber, bittersweet moment..
Some of the "inner circle" went back to Jarred's house.. some of the kids who couldn't even stand each other( Jarred's inner circle was a testimony has to the friendlieness of this boy, he had friends in all walks of HS life).. working together to build a bonfire. Lisa did something that struck me as odd, but to each his own, she gave the kids Jarred's funeral sprays, as there was no graveside to place them on. They threw them on the bonfire. We parents stood on the porch and silently watched this group of kids burn those flowers, hold hands, and sing *I Can Only Imagine*, fighting and bickering set aside.. be it the adults or the kids.. it was all petty and trite..Had Jarred been there.. he would have been loving this.. everyone getting along and having a party..
It was a fitting tribute to a well loved boy..
I am so gonna miss those danged freckles..
Here are some pics I would like to share..
This is the pig shaving PAR-TAY! a few weeks back. My son is in the back of the pig, keeping the pig steady in position, Jarred is in the front, Jarred's dad doing the shaving, and my husbands arms holding the snare.. this was the weekend Ty. Jarred and Blake all made up and spent every weekend from that point forward together..
Here is a better shot of Ty with his Daddy Greg, who we all just love.. despite being told he is evil by his ex wife, whom we met first..
The last weekend all the boys were together.. Blake stuffed Ty and Jarred in our dog crates and wouldnt let them out...
Those bootyful freckles..and the baby face from 4 years ago when we first met him..at this very show..
The collage I made..
The one Ty's mom made..
The one Kim, Eddie's wife made..
And the tribute song all the kids sang for Jarred around the bonfire..
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k[/ame]
