Ugh, why do I feel this way?

[undergunfire]

Since Leo died a week ago, I have seriously been considering getting a large cage that will be realeased in a few months for rats and getting 2 more boys to introduce with my three current boys.

My heart tells me to fill the hole in my heart and the empty hammock that Leonidas left behind, but my head tells me to take a break from rats.

BUT....whenever I think about not having rats to take care of and love on...I feel empty and awkward.

I know I should take a break because I don't want any ratties when Ryan and I decide to have a human child in about 5 years...but even if I got baby rats now...they wouldn't be alive then. I just don't know how to "end" my rat ownership. I can't see fostering because I always end up keeping any fosters that I have....hence Ralphie and Benson (yes, I am probably keeping him because of his age).

Money is honestly not an issue at this point. I use credit for any vet bills that occur, I spend about $20 a month on BOTH the rabbit and rat food now that I look at it. Plus, we need another warehouse/building at work because our company is growing like crazy and Ryan has been told that he will run the warehouse/shipping out of that building...which means he will be making about $14-$15 an hour. My supervisior is leaving for student teaching and I am 90% sure I will get her position...thats another $1/hour raise for me...which is good. Our jobs are no where near ever being cut...the business is now involved in Disney Land and big named Zoo's across the US...even in Mexico.

As for cleaning, yes I complain because it is a lot of work...but with a large cage....it will be easier because of the larger space. I will just have to rearange the bunny/rat room to fit such a cage.

Then, there is Ryan who thinks I shouldn't get anymore rats...but I clean them, feed them, play with them, ect and I pay for this house too...so he'd have to deal with it .


Then, I "pulled a naughty" and looked on Criagslist....
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/pet/681834692.html


INSTANT love for those three boys in the second picture.





Someone punch me :grumpy:?

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

Honestly Amy? I think you should do what will make you happiest, especially if money is no issue. Talk it over a bit more with Ryan, but can't he see how happy they make you? I really don't see how getting a couple more will hurt anything. I'm in your court, girl!

 

[undergunfire]

I emailed the lady and she emailed back already. She said she can probably bring them all the way here (2 hours) and said she would be so happy if I could take all three boys...as there would be an odd boy out. I'd just pay her for gas.

They aren't ready until June 1st, but who knows what Ryan will say. He's a jerk sometimes :grumpy:. I don't see why he would be a huffy about it, as I do all the care taking and every thing. I do complain about it, but I am a complainer over every thing...so that's nothing new .

That would be 6 rats. I am a little scared by that number and I think I am nuts.


I hope I am not going through a weird heeling process over Leo and end up regretting taking on the responsibility of 3 more later, even though I would have to suck it up and give them the best life possible, like always.

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

undergunfire wrote:

I hope I am not going through a weird heeling process over Leo and end up regretting taking on the responsibility of 3 more later, even though I would have to suck it up and give them the best life possible, like always.

You've lost a heart rat before, correct? How did you feel about that as opposed to Leo? Is it the same, worse? It's hard to say, but if you feel a void, sometimes, it helps more than you know to fill it. I haven't done that, but I've heard stories where it has helped. You have a bit of time to think on it. See how your thoughts, excitement about them change and go with your heart.

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Amy,



I swore, when Fergie died, I would NEVER love another rabbit. I don't love another rabbit like I loved Fergie (although I am getting quite attached to the blind in one eye cali) ANYWAY.. my point is, while I will never love another rabbit like I loved Fergie, the fact is, I do love rabbits..but there will never be another Fergie.. just like there will never ever be another Leo for you.

This is obviously something you have thought out.. and personally.. if I were you, I would do what makes my heart happy.

As for Ryan.. you can use the same line I use on Ricky.. *Yanno what cupcake.. you can get glad in the same pants you got mad in...* LOL



He HATES that..

Z

 

[undergunfire]

Ryan said "no" firmly, a gazillion times. It looks like I can't add anymore...arguing with him is pointless. He is dumb, though...he even said yesterday that maybe we should get our kitty a friend since he seems lonely.

:duel

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

undergunfire wrote:

Ryan said "no" firmly, a gazillion times. It looks like I can't add anymore...arguing with him is pointless. He is dumb, though...he even said yesterday that maybe we should get our kitty a friend since he seems lonely.

:duel

That stinks, Amy, I'm sorry. Gosh. Just keep harping on him, lol.

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Ryan may be saying no for love of you.

Rick tells me no to more bunnies because he can't stand to see me crying..

 

[juliew19673]

GoinBackToCali wrote:

As for Ryan.. you can use the same line I use on Ricky.. *Yanno what cupcake.. you can get glad in the same pants you got mad in...* LOL

I must write this down in my checkbook (where all my super secret things are kept) and pull that phrase out on my BF Eric, when needed..

Undergunfire - I would get them. They are adorable (look like baby puppies).. If it fills your heart why would you Husband not want you to be happy (happy wife = happy husband). Easier said from afar as I've had my own battles but, you really seem to need them AND more importantly can take care of them..

Hope this works out to your benefit! and I'd use 'Cali's line - would shutup any argument to be had from a man..

 

[undergunfire]

juliew19673 wrote:

Undergunfire - I would get them. They are adorable (look like baby puppies).. If it fills your heart why would you Husband not want you to be happy (happy wife = happy husband). Easier said from afar as I've had my own battles but, you really seem to need them AND more importantly can take care of them..

I would LOVE to get them, but I don't want to go behind his back. Those babies are adorable and I spent a lot of time staring at their pictures...but Ryan is stubborn.

I personally don't think he likes the rats all that much, he never has. He hasn't been able to connect to them because he can't hold them...their scratches on his arms poof up and his eyes get itchy. He is "allergic by touch", so to say...a lot of people are because it sounds gross...but rats walk through thier pee and the pee gets on their nails and some people have a slight reaction to that.

I don't know what I will do. I guess I have until June 1st to try to talk him into it :dunno.

I'm going through that mommy phase, where I lost a baby and now I want another one to love on.

Ryan says, "no more animals"....pfftt...I should tell him no more music equipment or tattoo's and see how he handles that one.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

They are precious aren't they?

Well, as far as *loving* them - it always hurts to lose a beloved pet... and that's how come we sort of get a bit numb..

I think you're doing right by not pushing Ryan or doing that behind his back... That's very mature and honorable for you as his mate. I've done the sneaky thing but we're talking totally disagreeable hubby here when it comes to animals. We wouldn't have ANY if I left it to him! Ryan isn't unreasonable ALL the time. He loves the bunnies and cat and all that too so I would pick my fights. Let it go and love the ones you have.

You never know what life brings - if you are supposed to get new ratties - you will. Forcing the issue isn't going to help.

 

[timetowaste]

in answer to why do you feel this way...because you're a good person, duh <3

Tracy

 

[timetowaste]

also to add -- cats also walk in their urine in the litterbox and if they scratch you, because their nails are stronger than rats, it can get underneath your skin and inject toxins into your body that can cause serious health problems.

Tracy

 

[EileenH]

My initial thought to your first question (to get or not to get more) was.. you will know when you are ready.
Bluemoon (on goosemoose) was the first of my friends to not get anymore, and I was really surprised - I couldn't imagine it. Then, I lost Amelia at 18 months to a pituitary tumor and I started feeling like that. (I had had many rats before that, but that was my breaking point). I held off getting another one as I had Abigail left. She had a maloccluded tooth that needed monthly dentals, which I did for a year and a half. Other than that, she was a happy girl by herself, so I went with that. She died at a little over two years old, and I absolutely knew I was taking a break. I still look at pictures, but I hold off.

Recently, nancycccslp (also from Goose), mentioned she's getting to the end of her era too. She also needs a break; but she's not quite there yet.

You know when it's time.

That said, it's a problem with Ryan. I don't think you should go behind his back. And he might be telling you no (don't we ALL need someone to tell us no? I know I do!) because he knows you'll get more and he's willing to be the fall guy.
But, if he doesn't like rats, will that be a problem down the road if you ever want more? My hubby is also allergic to their nails so I know what he means.Originally told me I couldn't have rats, but once we had them he turned out to like them as much as me.

Though it's easy for me to say, I think you're hurting right now. Craig's list is not a place to go - anything there is going to be too tempting. Stay away!
I think you should take some time. Then, if you decide to get more.you'll know if wasn't a knee-jerk reaction,and that youreally wanted more.

And, I'm not gonna punch you - we rattie people have all done exactly what you are doing. We're here if you want to talk more.

 

[XxMontanaxX]

Ask Ryan if you can get more if you give me Spartan?



Anyways, I obsess over getting pets sometimes when I see cute ones. But if I don't truley want it, then I forget about it. Like I wanted puppies and kittens and stuff a lot, but forget about the ones I seen. But I really wanted another bunny before getting Keiran, and I never ever forgot about my want for one.And thats what makes him special to me, because I waited and waited forhim, and I'm the type of person who never gets what they want, and then I got him. It was amazing.But it wasn't just for me, it was for Macey too. Togive her a friend.So maybe you should wait a little while to make your decision? Maybe Ryan might even give in by then, hehe. Just think about do you really need a new rat? Just to feel the hole Leo left? Do your ratties need a new playmate? Justgive it some time in my opinion.

 

[undergunfire]

Every one on here and on Goosemoose has shared many experiences with me and questions. I really appreciate it and it really does help me.

My current head/heart feeling today is to focus on my current guys (rats and rabbits). What can I do to make their lives better? Is there a new toy or something they would like to have? More time out of the cage and "mommy time"?

I really want to bond my bunnies...all four...if not all four, then I want to try to bond pairs...if it's possible. I didn't have the patience in the past when I tried, but I am hoping I can find the patience and inspiration after reading up more on bonding and taking notes and really sticking to the way you are supposted to do it...instead of rushing it.

Yes, I said all four because I might as well try with Benson, too. I worry though because of his age...but that is why I really hope that I can bond all four together...so when Benson passes....I won't have another lone bunny.



This is my feelings today. My feelings have gone back-and-forth many times today, but I am really going to try to think positive about bunny bonding and spending more time with the rats.

Someone on Goosemoose forums mentioned that they got rid of all cages that they did not need anymore...to resist the urge to fill them with more rats. This is my issue as well....if I didn't have 2 other rat cages hanging around and waiting to sell....I would be thinking differently because if I was to add more rats...I would have to run out and spend $100 on a temporary cage until I could buy the possibly $200+ Rat Nation that is coming out. I wish someone would buy those cages, ASAP!



p.s....Ryan still talks about getting Jupe a friend some time :craziness. He said not any time soon, but who knows what that means to him. If he does that...then that is all him, not me. He's become quite the cat lover :nope:. I need to get him more active in helping with the animals...maybe cat box scooping can be his new chore!

 

[LadyBug]

ok, so i coped out of reading the hole thread(please don't hate me:shock:!). so, as per your request in your first post-



and now, all i have to say is-They're gorgeous!(i'd get them if i could)

but you should follow your heart. however be forewarned that if you do get those little babies, i'm going to need lots and lots of pictures!

 

[JadeIcing]

undergunfire wrote:

Every one on here and on Goosemoose has shared many experiences with me and questions. I really appreciate it and it really does help me.

My current head/heart feeling today is to focus on my current guys (rats and rabbits). What can I do to make their lives better? Is there a new toy or something they would like to have? More time out of the cage and "mommy time"?

You and I have talked about this ALOT. It is so hard but I am trying to that. More time with the ones I have and how can I make it better for them.

 

[undergunfire]

Well, I have been going back-and-forth again today. I have until June 1st to decide on them....we'll see what happens. I keep wanting to hold off on these cuties though, and try to find rats in person that I find an immediate "love connection" to....kind of like how I got all of my rats.

I held Spartan for a little while today and thought about it. I just can't decide.

I went to PetsMart today and had to get an associate to get a dying rat out of the tank (sunken in sides and breathing heavy). I was discusted. They had about 10 baby rats each to 3 different "tanks". I saw one that I would have snatched up in a heartbeat...but it was a female and I won't buy rats from PetSmart, due to what my Fayl died from. I will only trust the local mom & pop store or "oops litters" from people.

 

[Leader of the Pack]

:?I said I wouldn't have another rabbit, cat or dog after the losses we've suffered in the past few years. But two years out, and the precious look and obvious need in the eyes of our new little bun convinced me that its all sort of like giving birth.....the pain is so bad when your going through the hard parts.....but its forgotten soquickly when you see that needy and precious creation.

Then its not until they reach their "teenage years" (and start acting out)do you begin to regret bringing them into your home.

Good luck on your decision.....I'm sure you'll make the one that is best for you.