Things my mother didn't teach me

[maherwoman]

I'm a 27 year old woman. I have a 7yr old daughter, am married, have a zoo of my own.

I grew up in two different homes, and essentially have three different phases of my life:

1. Living with my dad and stepmother until I was ten.

2. Moving in with my mother shortly after turning ten.

3. Getting married when I was 25.

Both of the main two mother figures I had in my life spent more time ignoring me than teaching me the facts of life. Thus, there are certain things I've had to learn as time passed on, and as I matured as a person. Here are some of those things.


1. Keeping the house clean (and not saving all of it until we have company). I was never taught how to clean. You'd think this would be something that one would just figure out...but alas, tis something you SHOW someone how to do. Thus, I've never had a clean house...until now. I've recently realized that doing a little bit of general housework every day is SO MUCH EASIER than doing a huge load of stuff, and inevitably missing one or two things, the day we're having company over. Then I wound up all exhausted when they got here, and not having NEARLY as much fun. Hehe...


2. Make-up. This is also something that was self-taught in my case. There were a few times my older sister would give me tips, but no one ever sat down and taught me how to put it on, take it off, wear it nicely, etc. I've gradually figured it out over the years, but the most recent things I learned were just how much mascara to wear (as opposed to just a bit too much, which would irritate my eyes), wearing hypoallergenic make-up instead of being stubborn and buying the make-up I wanted (meaning, I now wear Physician's Formula and Almay products). I also recently discovered the right face make-up for me...Physician's Formula Mineral Wear Loose Powder. It covers and blends away any flaws so nicely, while not covering up my happy little beauty spots! Another recent find: makeup remover. I recently (read: yesterday) bought Almay's make-up remover...and wow!! I never had a clue that using actual makeup remover could be so nice! Again, you'd think one would assume that makeup had to be removed, but I'd always just assumed that's what showers were for! Haha!


3. Cooking. Nope, never had my mother, or anyone else, take me aside, and teach me even the basics of cooking. Since meeting my hubby Danny, and forcing myself to become comfortable in front of the stove, with fire so close to me, I've come to the realization that I've got quite a knack of creating some really good meals in the kitchen! I started out making hamburger helpers (and other such meals-in-a-box), then moved on to watching Food Network relentlessly so I would pick up on good cooking tips and ways to do things, then moved to the forced bravery of actually trying those things out. Come to find out, I'm a natural!


4. Parenthood. Yes, this has been a really big adventure for all three of us. I can't sit here and say I've not made mistakes here and there, but I think my daughter has some sort of grasp of the fact that I'm learning as I go. She doesn't seem to fault me for various goofies...like not thinking to tell her to shower before taking her for a haircut (yeah, that happened yesterday, lol). Yet I've had so many people, when they find out that I basically started this parenting adventure in a completely clueless state (read: didn't know how to even change her diapers when I came home with her home from the hospital), react in utter SHOCK. I've had people tell me they admire my patience and really love my parenting skills. This never fails to surprise me...hehe!

I won't go into much about my own mother, except to say that I never entered her heart completely, and thus was more ignored than anything. I wish it were otherwise, but what can ya do?

I just strive to not do the same to my baby...which is what I base my parenting on.


5. Love/relationships/being a wife. Now, you would think (those younger people reading this) that you meet someone, fall in love, and that your love sustains any and all issues you might face. This is NOT the case...no matter how much I would like to be idealistic and say otherwise. (Don't worry...I thought the same thing...you're not insane.) I love my husband with a deepness you don't hear about much these days. We are truly a pair that is a rarity anymore. BUT...we are two different people, raised two different ways, by completely different sorts of people. Those facts bring with them differences in a person that come up when you're spending every day and night with that person...and are things that have to be confronted and you both have to figure out how to handle between the two of you. And it takes REAL work sometimes.

Even with how much I love my Danny, there were some true tests with our relationship over the last four years...things that most couples wouldn't be able to get past, but we worked, and worked HARD at figuring out solutions. My mother always made marriage seem like a perfect fairy tale...which is funny, considering she's been married about seven times. She's extremely idealistic about marriage, and never was willing to do the work that it takes, and would thus leave whoever her current husband was, and move onto better and greener pastures. That's what I grew up with...that's what I've always seen. It took REAL WORK to learn and deal with the reality of marriage...true work.

Now, this is not to say that my husband and I learned after we married things we wouldn't have been able to live with otherwise. No, most of our learning about one another happened BEFORE we got married, so we were SURE when we took those vows, that we were truly compatible and not just marrying due to love. BUT...everyone has differences...and those differences are something you have to take the time to face, learn about, and decide if you're willing to live with them for the rest of your life together. This takes patience, and real work.


In thinking about it, I'm honestly not sure why I felt the need to write this post...but it's just something that's been on my mind today.

Hugs to you all!!

Rosie & the Herd :bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance::bunnydance:

 

[NZminilops]

What a good thread Rosie, I am glad you decided to post this. I have a similar one but it's more "what my dad didn't teach me" and a lot of it isn't RO-friendly, so I'll keep it to myself.

That was a really interesting read .

 

[undergunfire]

I feel for you, as you know. My "real" mother was not a "mother", really.


Except, I knew how to cook because when she was drunk 20 hours out of a 24 hour day, I had to feed myself and my brother. She wasn't going to cook and my brother was little, so I had to do it.

Housework....when you are so drunk that you can't stand, how do you do housework? Oh, meeee! I am an excellent cleaner in fine detail because of it, lol.


Blah, blah, blah. You know my life story, Rosie and you know how we relate .


:hug::hug:

 

[Butterfinger]

Wow You have a very interesting story... It kind of makes me wonder what my life will be like, as I get into things like jobs, living on my own, and other things that you mentioned.
My mother is generally a good mother and I feel very blessed to have her, but there is one important thing she didn't teach me growing up....
Stay calm in panicky situations. She has OCD, Post-Traumatic Stress, and a nervous disorder, so I learned early on how to avoid conflict, or stay calm and think about things for a while before worrying, instead of immediately panicking (Do as I say, not as I do? ) I also learned to take most things from an impersonal 'there's probably something in their life that's causing them to act this way, if I haven't done anything wrong' standpoint. Because usually, it's almost never just about you

....I know what you mean about the makeup! :biggrin2: My mom actually -did- try to teach me how to apply makeup, but I was all like "Ugh, makeup is for GUUUURLS. "(<--- Sixteen years old when this happened) and didn't pay attention. *Is such a tomboy*

If you think about everything that happened in your life, and all the memories, though... there are some things that you're really proud of learning for yourself, and you're glad no one taught you
Thanks for sharing with us!

~Diana and Butter

 

[MsBinky]

Omg...

Funny you posted this. I have been feeling a bit at a loss myself these days honestly... I am 21 and got my appartment when I was 20. I had worked my butt off to get to where I am. It was extremely difficult because things happened very quickly and it was on the spur of the moment type of thing. I don't regret it for a second though.

It's been really hard. I'm terrible with cleaning and being organized so I am really trying hard to learn these things. It's a bit harder because even though I do not live alone, it is I who has to do everything. It's especially hard when it comes to installing things and assembling furniture etc... I've been lucky enough that his mother and my friend have been around to help out.

Cooking stresses me out. I make a huuuuuuuuge mess from lack of experience and totally get discouraged when it's time to clean. I too, have been watching the Food Network as though I had exams on it. It has helped greatly and I had to laugh at myself when I realized I was watching all these shows.

The whole relationship thing is a major issue also. It's crazy how the littlest things can cause misunderstandings. It's a whole major learning process. Lol. Things you did that didn't matter, suddenly matter. Communication is something that has prime importance. I have just been feeling so lost with all of it. At times, it is downright frustrating. I am very independent and headstrong and I do not like set backs. I like progress and feeling like I'm where I want to be at all times. Sometimes though, it's really a bad thing.

As for make up, I never was told anything. In fact, I'm quite embarassed about how late I figured things out. It sucks because i would like to be able to wear some when we go out. There are times when I do feel a desire to look "pretty". Baaaaaaaaah anyway, I guess there are more important things in life.

Anywho, it was nice to read your post. It kinda made me more positive about the whole thing. Thanks for sharing :rose:

 

[maherwoman]

Wow...I never realized how *not* alone I am in all this!

Yep, Amy...I have always felt close to you in the ways that our past is similiar.

MsBinky...sounds like you're right where I was a few years ago. It's pretty embarassing admitting that you've JUST learned various things. (Isn't figuring out that makeup remover is there for a reason at 27 embarassing??) But...it sure brought out the feeling that I'm not alone, and have nothing to be embarassed about!

Also, MsBinky...feel a bit better...I was basically forced to move out just two months after turning 18, and had to start out with NOTHING to live on, but whatever I had in my bedroom. NO kitchen stuff, no real bathroom stuff (except for my toiletries), etc. (As far as why I say "basically forced"...my mother was moving to Pasadena with her then-husband, which would've added another hour to my already two-hour-one-way commute to work...it was impossible for me to be able to go with her, and she'd planned it that way.)

And yes, like you say Butterfinger...there are wonderful memories that accompany the bad ones. Those are the ones to hang onto!

Hugs, guys!

Rosie*

 

[sharky1]

well my mom wasnt bad ... just one who should have not had kids ... luckily the early yrs were covered by grandma ... I have a different problem ... My mother was diagnoised with COPD ie emphasema in my early 20s and some how I am now mom... just today I had to leave my only scheduled job( i work many different jobs) and make a copy of and fax her BC for her cruise since they wouldnt let her board... I have no kids ( well aside for fur and finned), no husband ( I vow to find him after Moms passing) and am 30... your light yrs ahead

 

[Bassetluv]

Rosie, I can so relate to many of the things you have listed in your post...just for a different reason. I lost my mom when I was 10, and thus missed out on a lot of mother/daughter interactions and teachings (and love). After her death I blocked out almost all memories of her - due to sexual abuse at the hands of another family member, and my guilt about it - so I don't even remember my mom hugging me, or reassuring me...except for one or two occasions (once when I tripped over the dog whilst chasing my brother and cousin and hitting my face on a rock, winding up with a large gash...I still remember my mom wiping away all the blood before I was rushed to the hospital). And I must say, you have overcome so much more than me! I still can't cook worth a darn - I can follow a recipe, but half the time whatever comes out of my oven doesn't even begin to resemble the food in the photo. Makeup...I never did learn how to use that, so I avoid it whenever possible. And housecleaning? Despite being a Virgo (who can be notorious for keeping clean homes), mine usually looks like a hurricane swept through it, displacing everything except for the dog/cat/rabbithair dustbunnies that are always in corners and under heat vents.

The impression I got from reading what you wrote - which could be totally offbase(!) - is that you might have felt compelled to post this to reassure yourself that you are extremely accomplished in your life. And just in reading your words, I do believe that you are a pretty incredible lady...and someone who has inner strength and fortitude. So I just wanted to thank you for writing this Rosie, as I think you've touched a lot of people with your words, and you've shown them that despite adversity - esp. emotional adversity - you have persevered and shone through it all.

:big kiss:

 

[CheyAutRanch]

Bassetluv, you and I are alike. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 7, and, like you, I blocked memory of her (how I wish that didn't happen!). There was no sexual abuse though, I'm very sorry you ahd to deal wtih that, too! I guess my mind's way of dealing with the loss was to try to erase it.

I do have a WONDERFUL father. My sister is 14 years older than me. Since my dad worked nights, and left at 5pm, my sister pretty much raised me. She sure got to be a "mom" early, even though she didn't have her own kids until in her 30's!

I was very spoiled though. My dad tried to make up my loss I think, as my bro and sis weren't spoiled like me. I didn't have to clean or cook, and I had no desire to learn. Doesn't help that I"m a picky eater! When I bought my house, dad taught me how to make the things I DO eat, so I can do those, but they're easy and plain Hubby though, he doen'st mind cooking, so he does all the cooking. Cleaning, neither of us are good at. I'm better than him, but not by much! Our house is always a mess. I'd just rather spend the time with my animals vs cleaning! I"m getting better though. I keep my vaccum out in the living room, and vaccuum up the dog/cat hairs routinely. Then weekly I try to do a thorough picking up of clutter in the main houses (not the bedrooms... those are another story!). I make hubby do the kitchen and bathroom, those I HATE to do!

And makeup, my sister probably would have taught me, but i"ve NEVER wanted to wear it. Friends and sister BARELY convinced me to wear it for my wedding! I agreed ONLY with my best friend (who is a Mary Kay person) doing it b/c she KNOWS how I didn't want it to even look like it was on... they managed to talk me into it by saying if I didn't, I"d look shiny in my photos... so I let her use a LITTLE to avoid that, and that was all I have no desire to wear it! nor do I want to spend time with it... I just run a brush through my hair and I"m good to go

Jessi

 

[MsBinky]

Oh wow :?That sucks how you had to move. Things were not going well with my family either so I was also pushed out. Ever since the age of 16 I had to pay to live in my parents home and they cut all support including money for college, clothes, medicine, etc. Maybe if I had been a bad kid or something it could have made sense. But there I was, the only family member to have made it to collge, having been accepted in an honours program. Never smoked, never drank, never touched a drug. I was not allowed to have friends over and one day we got in a huge fight because I had opened my window a tad bit because I was having an asthma attack from the lack of air circulation.A week later, they decided they wanted to increase what i was paying. I never was great in math, but I was good enough to figure out that with the money I was giving them, I could be paying an appartment. And that was that.

I also left with nothing. I didn't even have a bedroom set. I only had one of those wooden futons, a chest, and my bunny. For months, I hand washed my uniform every two days. Yeah, you try washing off mustard and toast stains off by hand :shock:LOL. I was working two jobs and luckily, for my age, I had a great credit score and purchased my stove and refrigerator with a credit line. Then, I bought my washing machine and dryer with tips I had put on the side. My father ended up covering the tax, which helped because I didn't want to put more on the credit line. He and my mother ended up giving me an extra set of dishes they had, and equipped me with many things from the dollar store such as utensils and cleaning products. they also gave me their kitchen table and chairs because they wanted to change it. The rest, I worked for and piece by piece the appartment got furnished.(It wasn't quite there yet when Mario got here but I least I had all the essentials)It took me some time before I got my internet hooked up and it drove me crazy because at the time, Mario was in Greece and I only had my cellphone. No TV, no internet, no real phone line I could use and just chat... I felt cut off from the world. Mario was around but at the same time he wasn't. He was just too far. My one comfort: Wiggles.

It was no surprise that I was the most devoted employee available. I held supervisor posts in both jobs and co-workers became my best friends. Nicole (my manager and friend having the hysterectomy) cried with me on those long lonely days and she was around to help me with anything and everything.

I was working 7 days a week, non-stop and workingbetween 55-70 hours a week. I would start at 5:30 in the morning and on some days, I would finish at 9:15 and get home at 10:30.

I finally left one job after the doctor told me that if I didn't leave on my own, she would sign me off. I had one month left to go before Mario arrived and he sent money over to help get me through that month.

The reasonI say this is because I am proud. I'm sorry if it's not very humble of me, but I am dang proud that I did it. What I learned, my parents didn't teach me. I did that on my own. To live on the least expenses possible, to live with a sense of purpose,to findstrength I didn't know I had, that was not something they taught me.

I watched friends come and go as they went off to parties, clubs, movies, and other social events whereas I worked and went to bed as early as possible to let my body catch up on rest. I'm the only person from my grade to be engaged and to have my own appartment. Regrets? I have hundreds. However, I have learned recently that dwelling on the past hurts no one other than yourself.

Life's greatest lessons, I have learned them on my own. So when you posted that, I knew exactly what you meant.:hug:

 

[okiron]

Rosie, I think it'd be easier for me to make a list of things my mother did teach me.

 

[maherwoman]

Wow...it's amazing how similiar our pasts are! My mother, too, demanded that I pay rent for the bedroom I lived in, and give her money for food...this even when my dad was sending $100/month for my high school tuition, and she wouldn't actually use it for that.

Yep...your parents sound so much like my mom...it's crazy...

And I know what you mean about losing friends because they wanted to party, and all I could do was work and make it home to sleep off the stress. I would get home at about 8pm, and was waking at about 5am to go to work. I, too, didn't have a landline, just a cell phone that was, unfortunately, tied to my mother's (which meant she was ripping me off for that, well).

The incredible gull of a parent, eh? And, like you mentioned, I would be able to understand, if even a little, if I'd been a bad person, doing bad things to my mother, smoking or doing drugs...SOMETHING. But never...so it never made sense.

I agree...I'm quite proud of what I've accomplished as well. It takes a lot of strength and self-determination to get out of situations like that. I knew there was a reason I liked you!

Hugs to you...and lots of extra hugs for being such a kindred spirit!

Wait, wait...does this mean I have to be okay with you kickin my butt at iSketch?? HAHA...NO!!

MsBinky wrote:

The reasonI say this is because I am proud. I'm sorry if it's not very humble of me, but I am dang proud that I did it. What I learned, my parents didn't teach me. I did that on my own. To live on the least expenses possible, to live with a sense of purpose,to findstrength I didn't know I had, that was not something they taught me.

Life's greatest lessons, I have learned them on my own. So when you posted that, I knew exactly what you meant.:hug:

 

[maherwoman]

You guys are so sweet...thank you for your encouragement and sweet words!!

Like I mentioned, I'm not exactly sure why I felt the need to post that...but like you said, Bassetluv, I think it was a bit of a reminder to myself, a personal acknowledgement of the things I've accomplished over the years.

CheyAutRanch and Bassetluv...I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your mothers. That's so sad...and my love to you both.

I didn't expect any reponse to this, hehe...and here's all these wonderful replies!

Thank you for being YOU, guys!

And Okiron...I understand what you mean. However, my post wasn't meant to be a blast of my mother...more just a kind of journal type post. Those that haven't experienced a past like mine might not understand quite why someone would feel as I do. But the honest truth...my mother had me from an affair on the man I've always called my dad...and has regretted my existance from Day One. She's always made sure I knew how little she cared about me, calling me names, making me feel lower than her, taking everything she could to make me feel like I was indebted to her for my mere existance. I think she put on me the anger she probably feels toward herself for having that affair. My dad was her first marriage, and the only good man she was ever with (the rest were either insane or on drugs). Having that affair on him ruined their marriage, and sent her into an insanity that she's never recovered from. I hope one day she gets help.

Anyway, try to understand my perspective, and the fact that it's difficult to understand another's shoes until they're worn.

Hugs to you guys!

Rosie*

 

[lemonaxis]

Was just readig this and its a great comfot to me to find that I am not alone.
I learnt nothing from my mother and I mean nothing positive until we, over recent years, reconciled since my childhood.

I had the most horrendous upbringing, imaginable only to those who have experienced brutality and fear to the point of dissociation from their own lives.
Not RO friendly material and can relate instantly to the postings above.

Thankfully my parenting is something I am so proud of most of the time, I try sooooo hard and it works! I love being a Mum but have had to teach myself everything about being an adult, a woman, a Mum and a partner!! EVERYTHING!!!
Still on a steep learning curve....not sure how to keep house clean...I try and try and try and work so hard in it but still feel miserable about it.

I make a huge effort to make sure my beautiful children do not worry too much about my worries but I dream of house cleaning!!

I can cook but that was self taught and now I generally enjoy it.
To be a Mum is something which thankfully is the best and most wonderful experience of my life. But it can be very difficult too, for me to live up to my high standards.

I look after my children like they truly deserve it, am open to advice and allow them them the love, trust, care, discipline, boundaries, confidence, praise and independence never bestowed on me.

I love my partner so much but am still learning how to live with another adult. The biggest thing my mother did not teach me was how to look after myself. I cannot even get out the house for fear of ....well everything but having kids means I AM out there...doing parent help, going to sports etc etc etc.

I teach my daughters and my son how to take care of themselves and some of my parenting is modelled on doing the opposite to my parents....can't go wrong there I reckon!!

anyway too much info about myself on RO will see me rambling....lol

 

[XxMontanaxX]

I guess you really don't realize how good you got it until you learn how some other people have got it or had it. My mom is a great mom, she's still teaching me bits and pieces when cooking, she's taught me how to clean and do laundry, and just...everything. And I'm only 15. I don't mean to be rubbing it in if thats the way it sounds, but I'm proud of my mom and the life I have.

This is a great thread. I'm sorry to hear about all of you guys. But atleast you all have turned out good.

:groupparty:

 

[maherwoman]

Lemonaxis...

Oh wow...I know exactly what you're saying...

I, too, have a general fear/large amount of uncomfortableness in leaving the house. But I force myself, and I know it's good for me and for my daughter, so we get out.

It's hard...the difficulties I've had with my mother, the most recent of which entails her filing a false report with the Dept of Child and Family Services, in an attempt to gain custody. (Thankfully, it was painfully obvious that everything in the report was false when they came to visit our home...and though the DCFS rep wasn't legally allowed to tell me who called in the report, there were indicators in the report, as well as him letting me on to the fact that she'd called in to check on the report. I don't know how illegal it was for him to let me know that fact, but I suspect he was trying to protect us. We moved soon after and have given nobody by my dad, who is the only person in my family I trust, our address. Everyone else gets our business' PO box address.)

So, I'm sure I have a good idea of what you've been through...and though I hate hearing of other people going through the same...it's at the same time, as you say, a comfort.

Hugs to you...life can be so hard...but there are also great lights to life...like our children, our bunnies, our significant others, etc. And my parenting style is basically the opposite of my mother's, too.

Hugs!

Rosie*

 

[maherwoman]

That's so wonderful! I hope to be the same to my daughter...a great teacher, there for her in every way, etc.

I don't see it as you rubbing it in...it gives hope that there ARE great mothers out there that care about their children. It's always felt like such a farse to me...so it's good to see good moms still exist!

Hugs!!

XxMontanaxX wrote:

I guess you really don't realize how good you got it until you learn how some other people have got it or had it. My mom is a great mom, she's still teaching me bits and pieces when cooking, she's taught me how to clean and do laundry, and just...everything. And I'm only 15. I don't mean to be rubbing it in if thats the way it sounds, but I'm proud of my mom and the life I have.

This is a great thread. I'm sorry to hear about all of you guys. But atleast you all have turned out good.

:groupparty:

 

[lemonaxis]

it is very hard to be an effective adult without a huge amount of effort when your own mother does things like that, Maher, your mother sounds like it is she, that is missing out on her daughter and grand daughter.

I firmly believe that some pepole actually never change and are never enlightened to the possibilities of fixing the wrongs they have done to others!! Its just the same old !@##*! all the time.

I am only just learning to let go of the past and talk to my mother with a sense of sympathy for the fact that she is no longer capable of remembering much. She has blocked out most of my childhood and maybe its for the best!:?

 

[maherwoman]

Lemonaxis...I really wish I could say the same for my mother. Unfortunately the things she did are so recent...and most of them during my teenage years...she hasn't blocked anything out. But she has managed to lie to herself about a lot of it.

And you're right...I don't believe she'll ever change. I think she's been this way for so long, and so deep into the persona she has now, that she's stuck. It's the reason I haven't been in contact with her for almost three years. When she filed that false report, it'd been a year since she'd even SEEN us, and that was only because she unexpectedly showed up at my cousin's wedding.

I worry about my reaction when she passes away...it's something that sticks in my mind a bit. BUT I'm not going to sacrifice my family's survival and sanity to try to salvage a relationship that just can't be salvaged. Know what I mean?

We're happy, though...really happy. I'm truly happy for the first time in my life, and it's really wonderful. For the first time, I have true freedom to be ME and not feel like someone's going to cut me down for expressing myself or being myself. My sisters did a really good job of doing that as well, unfortunately...but I simply limit my contact with them (as opposed to cutting contact completely, like I had to do with my mother).

And, like I have to explain to people that hear that and sometimes react with, "Oh, I could never live without my mother...how can you do that to her?"...I have completely forgiven her actions and let them go...BUT it would be unhealthy and, frankly, stupid of me to just go back in contact with her. That report with DCFS was proof of that, let me tell ya! (This is not to say you don't understand...)

Anyway, love to you...and loads of strength (which I know you have already, in going through what I have)!

Hugs,

Rosie*

 

[sarahsop]

oooh i feel really sad for all your lost childhoods but very proud at how well you have all done!

My chidhood was fairly good, parents didn't have much money as my dad was really sick and couldn't work. He was often bad tempered and we didn't have much of a relationship. When he died I got a bit depressed, I was sad for what could have been I think? Now I am older I realise that my mother actually affected my relationship with my dad as she really wanted me to be a mommys girl, she needed me to be dependant upon her. Hence I struggled through school and in my relationships as I always needed somebody?

My mother thinks she was and still is better at everything than me (despite my degree she is better at childcare???)When I had myfirst baby I was terribly ill and she made the whole family think that I was a complete failure as a mother? I think she needed to be the center of attention.This was the dayI learnt that theonly person my mother really loves is herself!

Now I see how needy I have been in the past and I hate that! Now I love my own company and am happy and secure to be by myself. This security I think has come from hubby who I have loved for over 18 years now, we met at 13 and with his family I learnt a lot! How to cook, wash, iron and tidy the house for this I am very grateful! As of course my mom was better in the kitchen so she always cooked!



Life is an adventure for us all I think,, some of us get a better start than other tho!

:highfive:

Love to you all

sarah x