The television show, "House."

[lexipink]

For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I'm obsessed with the television show, "House." Actually, in my defense, I'm not as die-hard a fan as I used to be, but I still managed to turn off, "Dancing With The Stars," tonight to watch a, "House," rerun. So, that's got to say something, right?

But I wish I didn't watch tonight's episode. It wasone of those Dr. House-can-actually-be-human episodes. And that's all well and good. Really it is. It's nice to know the character has a heart and that the writers aren't all sick bastards, but the subject matter was hard on me and I'm finding I need to get it out somewhere before I do something I might regret come tomorrow morning.

Tonight's episode dealt with a high-powered executive woman who was in her early 30's and a bulimic/self-injurer. Enter Lexi's personal discomfort. I don't do well with television shows, movies, books, or the like that discuss eating disorders. And this one was particularly hard to watch since Dr. House was actually sympathetic and I was once a hard-core anorexic/bulimic. Ni-i-ice. So, here I am thinking: what the hell did I do to myself all those years? Am I going to need a heart transplant. I mean, whoa! Hello?! I did all the same crap as that woman...man was I lucky. And I don't like luck because it always seems to run out.

So, you'd think. Good! This must've deterred you from doing those things, right? Well, yes and no. I've been in a solid state of recovery for about a year and a half. Before that, I was on death's doorstep. But not so much anymore. And, after watching that show I'm seriously considering - and there's no nice way to say this - puking up dinner. Not good. I'm just totally freaked out about the show, my life, the holidays. I'm not going to do anything, but I needed to commit that to people I respect.

I've been having a hell of a rough time lately. The holidays are whipping my ass and I'm so worried about seeing my family this Thursday. Man, this post has gone in a totally different direction and I've laid myself all out there. Kind of embarrassing - but what's done is done. I just hope no one thinks less of me because of this...because I sure do...

 

[Bo B Bunny]

We are HUGE House fans here.

I used to be anorexic when I was young. I was so ill from being a non-healthy vegetarian (I ate a lot of breads) and just not eating that I was nearly hospitalized. I was under weight so much that my doc was threatening to force feed me! (he was a good guy! he just was teasing me).....

Anyhow, I eventually got through that - now I definitely do not have that problem.

 

[cmh9023]

I was anorexic when I was in my 20's and had to go in the hospital twice. I swear every time I walk by the Ensure in the grocery store or Walgreen's I can still taste it in the back of my throat from getting pumped in through my nose...yuck!! I can't even look at the stuff.

It is a hard thing to overcome, but I've been ok for 12 years now. I was also a cutter and I can relate to how difficult it is to watch TV, movies, etc.on thatissue.I

Bottom line...with the holiday and family issues itsounds like a time when youare vulnerable. Remember to takegood care of yourself and be gentle on yourself during thesestressful times! And, whenever you feel down, you can always pet your bunnies I always say that my first bunny saved my life. They are the best!

 

[Bassetluv]

Lexi, I too watched tonight's re-run of House, as I'm a huge House fan too ...despite the fact that his character almost seems to be based upon my ex-brother-in-law's personality. :? (Not exaggerating that one.)

First, I want to really applaud you (and everyone else who posted here) for overcoming such an enormous thing. Anorexia, bulemia - so many have struggled with these diseases; not all have been able to conquer them. But you have. And the thing that is really remarkable about the human body is it's ability to heal from such crises. We have such a wonderful built-in 'damage control', whereupon the body, once injured, or having suffered effects of long-term abuses, begins to repair any damage, given the chance. Look at so many who were freed from the concentration camps in Germany at the end of the Second World War; they were walking skeletons, existing on nothing more than bread and water, riddled with disease...and yet once liberated and reintroduced to a normal, healthy lifestyle, their bodies thrived, and they went on to live long, healthy lives. It's just incredible what the body can do once the mind decides it wants to continue on...and it's incredible at the odds that can be overcome.

My suggestion: rather than focusing upon the negative aspects, focus instead upon the positive...you have been through a hell of a time, but you recovered, you are strong, you are healthy, and you love your life. Stresses of some sort and of varying degrees will always arise in our lives here and there, but hey, they're only there to show us just how strong we are. And the more one focuses upon the positive aspects of their life, the more the stresses appear smaller.

It really is amazing what we think we cannot handle, and yet put to the task, we can...and do. And I'd say you've already proven to yourself just how incredibly strong you are.

:hug: