maherwoman
Well-Known Member
*sigh*
I'm sorry guys, I don't normally post anything about my religious beliefs, but this morning I got really offended by my sister, and really feel offended and hurt, and feel the need to talk about it a little.
I will keep from mentioning any religious beliefs, either mine or my sister's, because I don't wish to offend anyone in posting this. I love you guys so much, and the last thing I want to do is offend or hurt anyone.
About three years ago, I met my husband, who is/was of a different religion than my close family. Since meeting him, and learning about his religion, I found that it was in line perfectly with everything I believed, and thus decided to change religions. Due to the fact that I'm no longer involved with my close family's religion (though it's really not that different from their religion), and because I fell in love with a man of a different religion (though he is perfectly sane, wonderful, loves me and my daughter unconditionally and would do anything for the both of us, and despite the fact that he lives his life to make ours as wonderful as it can be), my family decided he and my change of religion made me someone they could no longer have a relationship with.
My oldest sister has ceased in communicating with me (except in situations where it is absolutely necessary), despite my many attempts at trying to initiate communication with her (emails, letters, calls, etc.). My mother shunned me completely, and has done nothing but make fun of my choices to my face, laughing at my decisions (and has even gone so far as to make false reports to the Dept of Child Services that I'm insane and abuse my daughter in various fashions to try to get custody of her).
My other sister was the only one who took the time to maintain a relationship with me, despite what adversity I'm sure she faced from my very controlling and manipulative mother and oldest sister. She's always been very respectful and avoided the subject of religion with me, and kept things very friendly. We had this unspoken but understood agreement that we were not going to try to "convert" one another to our differing (yet quite similiar) religions.
This morning, she broke that agreement, and sent me a note trying to get me to come back to my previous religion. I have to admit, I am completetly offended, not to mention hurt. I understand that she's worried about me, despite the information I've given her that explains various things about my religion (which I told her was not in the least given in the spirit of dissemination, and it really wasn't), but at the same time, I wonder if this whole time, she's simply viewed me as someone she had to save. Does this make sense?
I knew that underlying feeling of worry was there, and would never NOT be, but that's not the spirit with which her note was written. Her note was an effort to try to convert me, and it hurt that she would take that risk with our relationship. It's been three years, and never has she done anything like this, so I was of the false hope that she wouldn't approach the subject with me.
I'm going to write her a note back asking her to please not do that any longer, and in it I'm going to let her know that if offended me, and hurt my feelings, because I thought we had an agreement that we wouldn't cross that line from sisterhood to trying to convert each other. I thought she had more respect for me than that, ya know?
Anyway, I just felt the need to vent a little. Most of that will be in my letter to her (which I've already mostly written), and I've written it in a very loving and understanding way. As I'm sure most of you have gathered, I'm not a mean person, and I'm not going to attack her. I respect our difference in religions, and actually have quite a few friends that aren't of my religion. I don't have any problem with it whatsoever, and don't try to disseminate to them in the least. If they have questions, I don't mind answering them, but my intention is never to "convert" them.
I think diversity is wonderful, and is something that is truly great about our world! I think it is something to be celebrated, not fought over! Does that make sense?
Anyway, now that I've voiced all that, I actually feel a bit better. I just have to wait a while, and re-read my note before sending it so I can read it without all the emotion I've been having about the subject (not to mention I'd like my husband to read it, as a separate party, to be sure it doesn't sound too harsh or angry).
Bottom line: Things will be fine, whatever the outcome of this situation. Hopefully, this won't be something that breaks my relationship with my sister, but at the same time, I'm prepared in case it does. Since I used to be of her religion, I know what she thinks of others that aren't, so I have to prepare myself for that reaction. I hope it doesn't come down to her saying she cannot have a relationship with me. I love her so much, and have already lost so much, it would be so heartbreaking...but at the same time, it's her decision. I'm completely willing to put it behind me and not let it destroy what we have...I just hope she can feel the same.
Why does religion have to be such a divider?? Why can't people just love one another unconditionally? Why does it have to have the requirement of same-religion, same-beliefs, same-lifestyle, etc.?? I'll never understand how my family couldn't just be happy for me in getting married, but I've let that go, and moved on. Yes, my heart aches for a relationship with my oldest sister and my mother, but I've done everything I can on those fronts, and I never got any reciprocated feeling from them at all. They've basically moved on with their lives, and cut me out of them as if I had passed away...literally.
All that aside, I love my family, and always will. If they ever came to me and apologized and let me know they were interested in a relationship with me, I would never turn them away...and I hope someday that will happen. Until then, I will continue to surround myself with people that DO love me unconditionally and value my friendship and love.
On that note: my love to you all!! :inlove: This site is so full of loving, wonderful people! It's such a nice place to go that I know I will never be judged or treated badly or talked to meanly. There's only love here, and it's such a breath of fresh air to the pollution that surrounds us.
I love you guys!!! :heartbeat
I'm sorry guys, I don't normally post anything about my religious beliefs, but this morning I got really offended by my sister, and really feel offended and hurt, and feel the need to talk about it a little.
I will keep from mentioning any religious beliefs, either mine or my sister's, because I don't wish to offend anyone in posting this. I love you guys so much, and the last thing I want to do is offend or hurt anyone.
About three years ago, I met my husband, who is/was of a different religion than my close family. Since meeting him, and learning about his religion, I found that it was in line perfectly with everything I believed, and thus decided to change religions. Due to the fact that I'm no longer involved with my close family's religion (though it's really not that different from their religion), and because I fell in love with a man of a different religion (though he is perfectly sane, wonderful, loves me and my daughter unconditionally and would do anything for the both of us, and despite the fact that he lives his life to make ours as wonderful as it can be), my family decided he and my change of religion made me someone they could no longer have a relationship with.
My oldest sister has ceased in communicating with me (except in situations where it is absolutely necessary), despite my many attempts at trying to initiate communication with her (emails, letters, calls, etc.). My mother shunned me completely, and has done nothing but make fun of my choices to my face, laughing at my decisions (and has even gone so far as to make false reports to the Dept of Child Services that I'm insane and abuse my daughter in various fashions to try to get custody of her).
My other sister was the only one who took the time to maintain a relationship with me, despite what adversity I'm sure she faced from my very controlling and manipulative mother and oldest sister. She's always been very respectful and avoided the subject of religion with me, and kept things very friendly. We had this unspoken but understood agreement that we were not going to try to "convert" one another to our differing (yet quite similiar) religions.
This morning, she broke that agreement, and sent me a note trying to get me to come back to my previous religion. I have to admit, I am completetly offended, not to mention hurt. I understand that she's worried about me, despite the information I've given her that explains various things about my religion (which I told her was not in the least given in the spirit of dissemination, and it really wasn't), but at the same time, I wonder if this whole time, she's simply viewed me as someone she had to save. Does this make sense?
I knew that underlying feeling of worry was there, and would never NOT be, but that's not the spirit with which her note was written. Her note was an effort to try to convert me, and it hurt that she would take that risk with our relationship. It's been three years, and never has she done anything like this, so I was of the false hope that she wouldn't approach the subject with me.
I'm going to write her a note back asking her to please not do that any longer, and in it I'm going to let her know that if offended me, and hurt my feelings, because I thought we had an agreement that we wouldn't cross that line from sisterhood to trying to convert each other. I thought she had more respect for me than that, ya know?
Anyway, I just felt the need to vent a little. Most of that will be in my letter to her (which I've already mostly written), and I've written it in a very loving and understanding way. As I'm sure most of you have gathered, I'm not a mean person, and I'm not going to attack her. I respect our difference in religions, and actually have quite a few friends that aren't of my religion. I don't have any problem with it whatsoever, and don't try to disseminate to them in the least. If they have questions, I don't mind answering them, but my intention is never to "convert" them.
I think diversity is wonderful, and is something that is truly great about our world! I think it is something to be celebrated, not fought over! Does that make sense?
Anyway, now that I've voiced all that, I actually feel a bit better. I just have to wait a while, and re-read my note before sending it so I can read it without all the emotion I've been having about the subject (not to mention I'd like my husband to read it, as a separate party, to be sure it doesn't sound too harsh or angry).
Bottom line: Things will be fine, whatever the outcome of this situation. Hopefully, this won't be something that breaks my relationship with my sister, but at the same time, I'm prepared in case it does. Since I used to be of her religion, I know what she thinks of others that aren't, so I have to prepare myself for that reaction. I hope it doesn't come down to her saying she cannot have a relationship with me. I love her so much, and have already lost so much, it would be so heartbreaking...but at the same time, it's her decision. I'm completely willing to put it behind me and not let it destroy what we have...I just hope she can feel the same.
Why does religion have to be such a divider?? Why can't people just love one another unconditionally? Why does it have to have the requirement of same-religion, same-beliefs, same-lifestyle, etc.?? I'll never understand how my family couldn't just be happy for me in getting married, but I've let that go, and moved on. Yes, my heart aches for a relationship with my oldest sister and my mother, but I've done everything I can on those fronts, and I never got any reciprocated feeling from them at all. They've basically moved on with their lives, and cut me out of them as if I had passed away...literally.
All that aside, I love my family, and always will. If they ever came to me and apologized and let me know they were interested in a relationship with me, I would never turn them away...and I hope someday that will happen. Until then, I will continue to surround myself with people that DO love me unconditionally and value my friendship and love.
On that note: my love to you all!! :inlove: This site is so full of loving, wonderful people! It's such a nice place to go that I know I will never be judged or treated badly or talked to meanly. There's only love here, and it's such a breath of fresh air to the pollution that surrounds us.
I love you guys!!! :heartbeat
