School stress

[pinksalamander]

Today was my first day back to school, i'm in school for the next month before i break up for summer.

Its only day one and i'm already close to tears and so stressed out, i really don't know what to do.

I know exactly what i want to do when i finish, i want to take a course in Furniture and Product Design at University. I need 240 UCAS points and a good attitude basically.

I've just today met my new technology teacher who is really nice, newly qualified (which means she knows the ins and outs of the course pretty well, has all these new and interesting ideas and is actually pretty close in age to me!) I love technology and even though my AS exam went a bit sour it was a difficult exam for the whole class and we weren't really taught much by our old teacher so we are all behind. I'm pretty confident on working hard and getting a good grade, i want to get an A.

I also take ICT, which i also enjoy, although i'm only hoping for a B in that.

Then i take english. I hate english, i don't like my teachers (they are very sarcastic and a bit rude at times). I'm not very good at it, i lack enthusiasm because i'm a bit crap basically. I got an E in my coursework. Exam actually went OK, i'm hoping for a D overall.

Thing is, i really want to drop english. Just today i looked at all the work we are doing and i hate it, close to tears already. I feel like i just want to drop it and get it all away from me. I will be unlikely to be able to carry it on for another year because the willpower and determination needed at A level is just not something i have for english.

If i give it up now, and get a D (i get my result in the summer) then i will need to get an A and a B in my other two subjects to get enough UCAS points. I'm so worried i won't acheive this, because the subjects are so hard.

I'm petrified that if i don't get the grades i want, i basically won't be able to do what i want to do. All of my friends are so clever and are heading straight for the top. My Mum already thinks i'm a failure for dropping out of R.E earlier this year.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like my life is hanging in the balance. I have so little enthusiasm for English and my teachers basically despise me. I just want to give it up but if i do then theres a big chance i won't get into university and will end up working in McDonalds for the rest of my life.

Its too much for me to handle.



Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[mouse_chalk]

Aww, I'm sorry you had such a bad day!

One thing I learnt at college/uni, is that you will not do well at something if you don't really want to be doing it. I did a psychology A-Level that my heart just wasn't in and only got an E. I just didn't study hard enough because it didn't interest me at all.

I can't remember the ins and outs of it now, it was a while ago for me, but you're at the end of your AS levels right? If you were to leave your English at AS level, and then to take up another AS level course for your second year, alongside your A Levels in Technology and ICT, would that get you enough UCAS points?

I remember my tutor suggesting something like that when I dropped my French and refused point blank to do General Studies (yes, completely refused. I attended about 5 classes and it was all pointless!), but then the uni I wanted to go to only required me to get a C in my chosen subject, so I just carried on with the 2 A Levels. Or, is there some other kind of course you can do alongside instead?

Regarding your mum, I also know how you feel, because when I eventually dropped out of Uni after 2 years of being unbelievably depressed and hating it, they called me a failure as well. But there's no way that staying just to keep them happy was the right thing to do. You have to think of your own future and feelings!

Is there a tutor or anyone you can speak to at college about the alternatives?

Jen xx

 

[pinksalamander]

I've been considering taking another AS-level next year. The thing is that i can't think of anything to do! Its been such a long time since ive done lots of subjects (things i did at GCSE), although that would get me points.

My Mum wants to talk to school tomorrow. She seems to be in the mindset that even if i hate it i just can't give up i just need to try really hard. I am compleley alongside you on that if your heart isn't in it you won't do it. I won't get higher than a D in english i don't think. I spent so many hours crying and curling up on the floor hoping something would just swallow me up over my english work.

I've got a few other options. I could completley pull out of school and go to sixthform college and start afresh, or i could restart the year again at my current school. The only thing behind this is that i still don't know what two other subject i would pick instead.

This is how i am feeling right now.anic:

Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[NorthernAutumn]

OH, this is going to sound like my Mom talking...

If your goal is furniture and design, this is one of the hurdles in front of your destination. Right now it looks insurmountable, tosay the least. But I don't believe your statement about

"the willpower and determination needed at A level is just not something i have for english."

Maybe you don't feel it right now, but this ISsomething that you CAN do. Obviously you can already express yourself beautifully in your posts.

My mom regularly tells me when I'm despising something; :Take all of that energy you are wasting on thinking about it, and just do it!!! I hate it when she says it, but she's been right all the way through uni...

What are you doing in English? Essay, poems, creative writing, grammer, what? If you want, you could send me your stuff and I'd edit it for you...(Ran 90s in English all the way through, so I won't steer you too wrong )

BTW, most English teachers I've met are sarcastic and bitter. This is because most of them wanted to be great writers/artists/historians/actors/you name it, and found out that a BA in English didn't get them where they really wanted to go. We have profs like that in Canada too. THey don't despise you personally; They can't! they don't know you yet...

You could always go to your English prof and say, "Hey! here's the deal. I don't have a strong English background, and I need your assistance and guidence to accomplish my assigned coursework. What can be done so that I can achieve my goal?" If nothing else, you may wind up with a great letter of recommendation for your GREAT ATTITUDE, and they may bump up your mark.

Failure is not a word I acknowledge for any student; you only fail when you don't shove as hard as you can towards your goal. Your heart may not be in English, but it IS in Design. English is the burning bridge over the chasm of death; but once you're over the bridge, you're in paradise.

Just don't tell them that you hate english, K?

Wow, what a diatribe I've written! Take me up on the editing offer if you like...

 

[pinksalamander]

NorthernAutumn wrote:

Just don't tell them that you hate english, K?

I think they already know!

The main problem I have would have to be creative writing. I used to be very very good at it. Recently, i don't enjoy it. I'm no good at it. I lack inspiration. We had to write a stylised fairytale based story.. a fairytale with a 'twist' in the style of Angela Carter, 1500 words. We then had to write an accompanying essay explaining why we chose what we did etc, effectively we were analysing what we wrote.

I did OK in the commentary. Well, it is difficult to analyse something that isn't worth the paper its written on! I found it alot easier. The creative story part was the worst bit, i just couldn't write anything. I spent most of my time staring at blank pages, writing 'there once was' or 'today was the day' and screwing it up and bursting into a fit of tears over it all. In the end i got an F for that piece but then i managed to scrape the extra 1 mark i needed to beef it up to an E.

The exam went better so i am hoping to get around a D. A C would be fantastic but is unlikely.

The problem i have with my teachers is that one of them (i have two, one for Language and one for Literature) is nice. I'm stronger on Lang, but i dislike my teacher. I'm weaker on Lit, but my teacher is very down-to-earth (although a complete moody bitch nonetheless!)

The problem i have is that i don't think i will acheive anything of worth in the longrun. Even if i tried my very very hardest i still don't think i would be able to scrape up a good grade because a) i've already let myself down on my first unit with the E and b) i'm no good at the subject anywhoo!

I have my nice teacher tomorrow. I'm going to talk about it. Its just i have a feeling that if i do carry on i will be spending weeks again crying over the same old work. The work this time is exactly the same, but i have to write THREE stories instead of one!:sigh:

I'm seriously considering moving to college to retake. If i did that i would take Art and Design, Photography and ICT, or maybe Media.

Still feeling like anic:

Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Here's a crazy thought...

Is it possible to resubmit new work for the unit you got an E in? Some highschools here in Ontario have what is called a credit-recovery program, in which kids who have seriously messed up part of the mark can work to achieve a passing grade on their own time. If there is summer school, you could take that english class; OR drop this one and do it through correspondance at your ownpace.

Personally, I find that I have to disassociate from my like/dislike of a prof. It doesn't matter to them, but it hurts you in the long run. However, they will support a student who they actually know is trying hard.

Fairytales McSuck, by the way. If you have a snarky facetious side, it is more fun to write anti-thetically, versus trying to actually make a story about a princess (IE a masochistic dragon who's into whips and chains, and travels to France to roll in Creme Brule daily. Manages to become incarcerated in a prison where he "brulees" the creme all day long. Goes insane and "brulees" The entire town. Lots of swordfighting ensues....)

What are your three stories about? We could develop the material here on RO together with creative comments from the other members; I bet it would be ridiculously funny. Even if you didn't submit it, maybe it would get the creative, fun juices flowing. WE could start a "Make a story" thread, and everyone could submit a sentence or three that builds on the original idea.

(Gotta write a story that YOU want to read; not what the teacher wants to hear. After that, you can tweak it to make them happy.)