people can be so mean

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

So, one of my close friends just lost one of her friends to cancer. I got an email about 15 minutes ago letting me know that her battle was over. Even though it's late here, I thought I'd call my friend to let her know that I was here, and to make sure she was doing ok. When I told her that I'd just gotten her email, her reply was, "I wish you wouldn't have called." When I apologized, and told her that I thought she would still be up, she said that she was getting ready for bed, and had to come back out to answer the phone. I again apologized, but she just told me again how I had inconvenienced her. I know how deeply she is hurting...I lost my best friend, my brother, and my father to cancer. I know that I shouldn't project my reactions onto others, but I was shocked at her reaction...I'm not one to lash out at others when I'm hurting, and I guess I'm immature enough (even at my advanced age) to be upset at those who do. Thanks for listening....hope I didn't sound too stupid.

 

[Haley]

Aww Im sorry she made you feel bad when you were trying to be nice. As you said, some people just transfer it onto others when they are in pain or angry. Im not one to do that so I cant understand why people do it.

Im sure she appreciates your care and concern, even if she didnt show it.

 

[Maureen Las]

I really hope that she apologizes to you when she gets herself together. I'm not one to lash out at a friend either.. and I don't easily forget someone who would do it to me.

Hopefully she will pull herself together and appreciate the friends that she does have left!

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

Just wanted to say that I got a lovely apology in an email this morning. My friend explained where she was coming from, and asked me to forgive her. I feel so much better about it. I know that this wasn't about me at all, but sometimes feelings get hurt in times of great stress. I really appreciate your support, and want to say thanks!

 

[Leaf]

I'm glad things got sorted out. It takes a big person to take the time to reflect upon and apologize about behavior in the midst of personal loss.

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

That's what I said when I replied to her email....that I really appreciated her taking the time right now, and that I knew how much she had on her plate, and that, when I reflected on things after I went to bed last evening, that I knew it was the pain and loss speaking. Thanks again for giving me a place to let my feelings out that is safe. I would've never said anything to my friend, but I knew that I could come here and "vent" my paiin, and that it would be accepted. It means the world to me to have a wonderful place like this to come to.

Just read back over this....sorry...kind of one long sentence!!