TinysMom
Well-Known Member
"There's no place like home....There's no place like home...There's no place like home"
I forget what comes from - but I had to say it three times to make sure y'all got it (I think it was Wizard of Oz?)...
We made it home shortly after 2 am last night. I wish my luggage had made it home with me....alas...it is in Newark, NJ and will be sent on to the local airport here.
I am not sure what to share and what to not share. I'm so used to being open and sharing from my heart and right now my heart is so broken and sad. I've been trying to read fun posts and respond to them and not think about my trip.
First of all - I made it to mom's just fine...and I got in on schedule. YEAH! Mom stayed in the car while I put my stuff in the trunk (I took the bus for the last part of the trip) and the first words out of her mouth were, "You made it" followed by "You really need to lose 50 or 60 pounds before you come back". That whole weight loss comment was a major theme of the week - either she was trying to stuff me with ice cream or donuts (which if you've read that I suspect I might have type 2 diabetes and was trying to manage my symptoms by eating good - you'll understand part of my frustration since I asked her to not get them to begin with). This was also followed with lots of sighs and comments about how I needed to lose weight.
To make things worse - mom's short term memory is pretty shot. I'd sort of observed this as we talk on the phone every Saturday and many times we'll have the exact same conversation three times within an hour. I talked to mom's best friend and she said that mom has been doing this for about a year now...getting worse over the last few months.
Mom and I had a very hard talk - about her going into a nursing home. She wants to continue to have her apartment and live on her own while her cat is still alive (more about that in a bit)...and she does really good as far as eating three good meals a day (she makes sure she has X vegetables and Y fruits just like she should) and she always pays her bills on time and manages her money well. She can also drive fairly well (she is 80 years old). I would say that at this time she is not a danger on the road and she is alert while she is driving (something she always enjoyed).
I emailed Art to ask him if my mom could live with us. I knew he would say yes anyway - and I knew that she would say no anyway - but I wanted her to have the option of knowing she had a choice about the future. I didn't want her to go to a nursing home saying, "This is my only choice". As it turns out - she loves the nursing home up there in her town (she is in there twice a month playing the piano and she knows much of the staff) and she said that to her - moving to the nursing home would be like having a continual party. Mom is VERY social (I am not) - she has many friends there already and many of her friends visit the nursing home - as she does sometimes too. So when the time comes - she knows that is what she wants. (I tried to get her to move to TX three years ago and get a cute little apartment near us).
About mom's cat....when I got there - he looked REALLY bad. I was very worried and was halfway afraid that maybe I was there to comfort mom because he would pass during the week. However, we got him started on "wet" (canned) cat food that has lower carbs in it ... and by the time I left - he didn't look like the same cat. He had started to put on weight - his fur was getting shiny again - and he was even jumping up to the bathroom sink like he used to. I know mom won't do insulin shots for his diabetes but hopefully, using the canned (and pouched) cat food will help him live a longer and healthier life for a bit. The change in his behavior and his looks was phenomenal - even after just a few short days.
Well - with all of the negatives I've shared (I'm sorry to be so negative in this post) - some of you may be wondering "Did anything good happen?"
Mom and I did have a couple of really good talks. In spite of the fact she dislikes my clothing (and yes - she told me so)...she does like my hair - and is glad that I "FINALLY went back to being blonde". She thinks this is the best haircut I've ever had.
I left there realizing that mom is struggling with depression (something I've handled in the past but she hasn't) and that I need to be more available to her at this time in her life. I think that helped to answer some of the questions I was struggling with about getting a job (or not) outside of the home....I think I need to be available to fly home at almost a moment's notice. I did tell mom that if Petey passed away and she decided to go to the nursing home - Art & I would come up and close up her apartment so all she would have to do is pack her stuff that she wants to take with her.
It was a hard trip....it was hard seeing just how much mom had failed. We would eat supper and then she would ask me several times during the next hour or two what I wanted to eat for supper. I'd remind her that we had already eaten and point to our plates (we ate in front of the tv) and then she'd remember - only to turn around and ask me again a few minutes later.
Anyway - I hope to hear soon about my luggage....oh ... and before I forget....I brought home another bunny. She'll probably live in the office...had a bit of a hard time getting her through security (it didn't help that my carryon bag was full of antique china type stuff)....but she made it here safely. Miss Bea may even come to accept her...I'll share her photo later today....
I forget what comes from - but I had to say it three times to make sure y'all got it (I think it was Wizard of Oz?)...
We made it home shortly after 2 am last night. I wish my luggage had made it home with me....alas...it is in Newark, NJ and will be sent on to the local airport here.
I am not sure what to share and what to not share. I'm so used to being open and sharing from my heart and right now my heart is so broken and sad. I've been trying to read fun posts and respond to them and not think about my trip.
First of all - I made it to mom's just fine...and I got in on schedule. YEAH! Mom stayed in the car while I put my stuff in the trunk (I took the bus for the last part of the trip) and the first words out of her mouth were, "You made it" followed by "You really need to lose 50 or 60 pounds before you come back". That whole weight loss comment was a major theme of the week - either she was trying to stuff me with ice cream or donuts (which if you've read that I suspect I might have type 2 diabetes and was trying to manage my symptoms by eating good - you'll understand part of my frustration since I asked her to not get them to begin with). This was also followed with lots of sighs and comments about how I needed to lose weight.
To make things worse - mom's short term memory is pretty shot. I'd sort of observed this as we talk on the phone every Saturday and many times we'll have the exact same conversation three times within an hour. I talked to mom's best friend and she said that mom has been doing this for about a year now...getting worse over the last few months.
Mom and I had a very hard talk - about her going into a nursing home. She wants to continue to have her apartment and live on her own while her cat is still alive (more about that in a bit)...and she does really good as far as eating three good meals a day (she makes sure she has X vegetables and Y fruits just like she should) and she always pays her bills on time and manages her money well. She can also drive fairly well (she is 80 years old). I would say that at this time she is not a danger on the road and she is alert while she is driving (something she always enjoyed).
I emailed Art to ask him if my mom could live with us. I knew he would say yes anyway - and I knew that she would say no anyway - but I wanted her to have the option of knowing she had a choice about the future. I didn't want her to go to a nursing home saying, "This is my only choice". As it turns out - she loves the nursing home up there in her town (she is in there twice a month playing the piano and she knows much of the staff) and she said that to her - moving to the nursing home would be like having a continual party. Mom is VERY social (I am not) - she has many friends there already and many of her friends visit the nursing home - as she does sometimes too. So when the time comes - she knows that is what she wants. (I tried to get her to move to TX three years ago and get a cute little apartment near us).
About mom's cat....when I got there - he looked REALLY bad. I was very worried and was halfway afraid that maybe I was there to comfort mom because he would pass during the week. However, we got him started on "wet" (canned) cat food that has lower carbs in it ... and by the time I left - he didn't look like the same cat. He had started to put on weight - his fur was getting shiny again - and he was even jumping up to the bathroom sink like he used to. I know mom won't do insulin shots for his diabetes but hopefully, using the canned (and pouched) cat food will help him live a longer and healthier life for a bit. The change in his behavior and his looks was phenomenal - even after just a few short days.
Well - with all of the negatives I've shared (I'm sorry to be so negative in this post) - some of you may be wondering "Did anything good happen?"
Mom and I did have a couple of really good talks. In spite of the fact she dislikes my clothing (and yes - she told me so)...she does like my hair - and is glad that I "FINALLY went back to being blonde". She thinks this is the best haircut I've ever had.
I left there realizing that mom is struggling with depression (something I've handled in the past but she hasn't) and that I need to be more available to her at this time in her life. I think that helped to answer some of the questions I was struggling with about getting a job (or not) outside of the home....I think I need to be available to fly home at almost a moment's notice. I did tell mom that if Petey passed away and she decided to go to the nursing home - Art & I would come up and close up her apartment so all she would have to do is pack her stuff that she wants to take with her.
It was a hard trip....it was hard seeing just how much mom had failed. We would eat supper and then she would ask me several times during the next hour or two what I wanted to eat for supper. I'd remind her that we had already eaten and point to our plates (we ate in front of the tv) and then she'd remember - only to turn around and ask me again a few minutes later.
Anyway - I hope to hear soon about my luggage....oh ... and before I forget....I brought home another bunny. She'll probably live in the office...had a bit of a hard time getting her through security (it didn't help that my carryon bag was full of antique china type stuff)....but she made it here safely. Miss Bea may even come to accept her...I'll share her photo later today....
