Need advice!!

[Abolbe]

Hi, I’ve had my little bun Poppy for roughly 3 months now
I only locked her in her cage the first week I got her at nighttime but she has free roamed since, I don’t like the idea of locking her up now after so long
I am a first time bunny owner so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’ve blocked off everything that is important and chewable so I would say the place is bunny proofed.
the only problems I am having is she very occasionally will jump onto the sofa and wees and poops, sometimes 3 times a week, sometimes 3/4 times a day, when I’m there I don’t let her on the sofa so it’s usually whilst I’m in bed or popped out.
I went to get her spayed thinking that might be the problem and it would reduce afterwards. When I took her to the vets they told me she was too afraid, too stressed and would more than likely pass away from the anaesthetic as she was way too flighty, they asked me if she had been handled much but that is another problem... she is very very loving, let’s everybody stroke her, feed her, but she won’t let me pick her up at all!
I’ve YouTube’d the correct way to pick them up and I do it from the floor so it’s not too high, I’ve tried so many ways, I’ve tried wrapping her up in a towel and she just does everything she can to leap from my arms, in 3 months I have only been able to clip her nails from one paw as i can only do it when she’s sprawled out in front of the TV, so trying to handle her it’s a lot more painful
She seems very happy and content in general and I spoil her to bits, the only issue is I can’t train her to be handled (which I wasn’t bothered about at first) and her using the toilet on the sofas, she only uses the sofas or her litter tray
The vet says they won’t neuter her until she’s more used to being handled and to try that with her for the next couple of months but i just can’t!!

does anybody have any advice what I can do?

 

[Preitler]

I would find another vet. That argument doesn't make much sense to me, sounds like a strawman argument to avoid admitting that they aren't really confident in their anesthetics with rabbits.
Get her used to be put in the carrier, and to get moved with it. Always give a treat after a short session.
Learn to handle her. Too much restriction is uncomfortable, put one hand under the front paws, the other under the rear ones and fix ther hindquarters, if she starts to struggle tuck her nose under your ellbow. Start slow and low, just picking her up and putting on your legs sitting on the floor, and let her hop off by herself, to give her the feeling that she doesn't lose all control. Very important for rabbits. Also, small treat afterwards.

Having an intact doe free range in the house didn't work for me, but, well, Fury did earn her name , happy active outdoor bunny now. Currently I have a spayed girl and an intact buck (that has some inconviniences too) as free roam house rabbits.

Giving her free roam that quickly can have issues, she never learned to see her pen as her place, she didn't need to pick and and establish her litter spot there. Sofa is just as comfortable to pee on as the litter box, and the territory needs to be marked anyway. With 5 months or so, if you got her at 8 weeks, puberty is in full swing.
Even if you don't like the idea, I would start over again by keeping her in a rather not too big pen around her cage for some weeks, with supervised free roam time after some time.

If it's really just the sofa, putting it on bricks for some time so that is too high for her might be worth a try, she might give up on that once she relises that she can't get there. I would block the space underneath with boards though.

 

[JBun]

Yes, find a more experienced rabbit vet. Some rabbits that are perfectly fine at home, will be a nervous wreck at a vets regardless of how much they've been handled. You just need a vet that actually knows what they're doing when it comes to rabbits, then spaying won't be an issue. Try this rabbit vet list. Or if you want to post your general location, someone might have a recommendation for you.

https://rabbitwelfare.co.uk/rabbit-...abbit-friendly-vets/rabbit-friendly-vet-list/
And as a general rule, a majority of rabbits dislike being picked up. A few actually like it, some don't mind, some can learn to tolerate it, and some detest it and will fight you for all it's worth, no matter how much handling has been done with them. @Catlyn has some experience teaching her rabbits how to be ok with being handled, though it can be a very slow process if you're doing it on their terms and building trust first. For nail trimming, this video may be helpful for you.



Keep in mind that spaying may possibly help the couch peeing, but not always. It's not always linked to just hormonal marking behavior. A lot of rabbits just like to pee on soft things. If you want to continue to free roam her, you will probably need to keep the sofa covered with a waterproof covering when you aren't around to supervise. Or xpen panels to block it off. You may be able to train her not to pee up there eventually, maybe spaying will help some. You can try keeping a litter box up there, or sometimes putting a blanket with your rabbits scent on it on there can help. But no guarantees.

https://bunnyproof.com/stop-bunny-peeing-bed-couch.html

 

[Diane R]

I see you are in the UK and you are definitely in need of a proper rabbit vet. Find one here: Rabbit Friendly Vet List

 

[Catlyn]

I can't say for certain that i trained my rabbits to tolerate handling, but i'll try to remeber some things i did that might be of use.
It is going to be a bit of a long read though, as i do like to include some context for better understanding.

When i first got Musti, i was a total klutz at holding&handling him, i did it totally wrong, taking him by his extra skinfolds between the shoulders&rump area, like almost any random person would carry a cat. Then i transitioned to letting him hop onto my coat and gently lifting him up against me with that. He was pretty opposing to those but he was a good bun and bore with me. When i finally watched the very same howcast video, Musti quite liked being in my arms, securely supported on his bum and on his back. He was a real social fellow, it was his unique personality that he grew to be extremely sociable and tolerable, even when one of the younger village kids happened to spook him just a bit too much by being overly excited. All i had to do to handle-train him was properly learning from the video and having patience. Also, general bonding helped a lot (though Musti created a nice sturdy bond without any extra effort on my behalf)

Lümi was a little bit of a nutcase. He was also an extremely social, kissy-go-lucky binky-butt. But he was slightly more skittish, he would adore all types of affection, especially kisses and hugs, save for being picked up too fast, too high, or the wrong way. He loved to be extremely secure and would always bend his tiny toes to better latch onto my shoulder. If he felt uncomfy, he would adjust himself properly or deeply indicate that he needed the secure ground again. Also nothing more than developing a bond, going slow and having patience with him.

Now Storm, my last buck alive, is indeed an even bigger nutcase, the most typically rabbit-behaved bunny i have met. He was the skittishest one i coul'd've picked, but he did show good reaction to a hand slowly approaching (which all the other possible bring-homes did not show) so that was the first time after a year of owning a rabbit that i asked around how to bond with him. He didn't take too kindly to me and would escape when i tried to pet him when he was so close to me, and wouldn't let me near his head. Petting his back while he was busy eating was the slow process of us creating a bond.
At first, he was absolutely horrible in being picked up, he would kick and nip at anyone, if he knew we were gonna lift him onto the floor, he would not want to come. We combatted it by creating him a ramp. We refrained from picking him up unless absolutely needed. After even more bonding, he finally knew we wouldn't come and lift him up, but he wasn't any happier for it. It did get just a smidgeon's worth better after his neuter. To this day, whenever i really need to pick him up (which doesn't happen often) he will stay put for about a minute at best, at worst he will nip and/or kick after ten seconds of being placed on someone's chest.

So, to summarize.
It is highly dependent on your bun's personality. Also, their age and neutering status come into play. A more adult, fixed bun will generally tolerate it just a bit better, but still no guarantees.
Creating a bond with your rabbit will lay a foundation for more things than possibly carring them. They would learn to trust you and be comfy around you.
The best you can do is not picking your rabbit up at all. If it is still a must, try distracting them with treats, probably safer to stick to vegs and treats that are not right up against your fingers as bunbun may direct their frustration beyond taking the treat.
(Dad still has a scar forever reminding him not to feed Storm a small pellet directly from his fingertip after we'd managed to piss him off with essential nail-clipping.)
Still, even better use of that treat would be in a carrier-the bun will chase after it and usually nevermind about being carried short distances.

And i agree that the vet telling that your bun will be too zippy and not survive anesthesia, complete crap. All three of mine were zippy from the car ride, yet returned from the vets with hay in their mouths. Find a good vet and she'll be fine. How old is she?