Nate is trying to quit smoking...

NorthernAutumn · Dec 21, 2008

Sorry about the sad post, guys. Nate decided to quit smoking after his exams this past Wednesday.
It's absolutely awful... mood swings up and down, barking at me, refusing to help choose gifts or plan the travel schedule, complaining constantly...

I'm so frustrated, and sad; I had encouraged him to do this in the summer so that I wouldn't have to go through this at Christmas, and we would be able to enjoy the holiday.
He tried to quit smoking last Xmas too, and it was horrendous. I know that this is hard to do, and that it is hard to control the temper while withdrawing. I'm just so upset.

Have you guys dealt with your SO trying to quit smoking? Is there any way to make this easier? He refuses to consider nicorette, the patch, or any anti-smoking aids. I really want to just leave and go to my parents, but I'm confident this would just make him more nuts.
I'm worried that he's going to break something in one of these tantrums. The man has a very long fuse, but when it blows, it blows up big! He's been known to throw stuff. It's not abusive to me, but it can certainly damage things.

Sorry about complaining... its just kinda hard right now:tears2:
He's fantastic except when he tries to quit smoking.

ETA: I know that it is VIP for him to quit; I just want to make it a little less hard on me somehow, so I'm not getting so frustrated that I'm crying.

BethM · Dec 21, 2008

Quitting smoking was a necessity for Jason, if he wanted to be with me. No way would I ever marry a smoker, that's a deal breaker for me. So when he did, I knew he was in it for the long haul.

It was extra difficult for him, as he worked at FedEx at the time, and they allowed people to chew tobacco in the building while working. In fact, they encouraged it, because it meant people not going outside for a smoke break. (I used to work their, too, and I was always disgusted whenever I saw some package, on it's way to someone, with juice all over it from the employees spitting. YUCK!) So he tried to just switch, as if the smoke was the problem for me. (I told him I'd rather he smoked, because then when he got cancer, at least I wouldn't be able to *see* it. Still wouldn't marry a smoker, though.) So then, he tried to chew at work, but not use tobacco at home. That was really bad, to the point that I drove everywhere because we almost died a few times. When he was in withdrawals, his driving was *so* bad. He would swerve into oncoming traffic, or turn in front of someone that was really close. Bad. Fortunately, his temper is pretty low-level, so that wasn't an issue for me.

I will tell you, the really bad times will last awhile. Then there will be some sort of bad times for awhile after that. But then it will be all better. I know it's really hard to deal with him right now, but try to do your best to be there for him if he needs you.

I don't know if I'd be any help, but feel free to PM me if you want.

NorthernAutumn · Dec 22, 2008

Thanks for writing to me, Beth.

He's chilled out a bit tonight... He's taken up playing the PS3 whenever he needs a smoke. OK with me! He loves to smoke when doing hwy driving, so I'm dreading the 2 hr. trips up and down the road for the rest of the season.

He was shouting at the other drivers today... thank god the windows were rolled up:biggrin2:

BethM · Dec 22, 2008

I would guess that as long as the game he's playing on PS3 isn't overly difficult/frustrating, that is a good thing for him to be doing when he feels like he needs a smoke. Especially if it's something that can keep his mind occupied for a little while.

Much better than Jason.....he took to peeling the skin off his hands. In thin sheets. It was really gross and I didn't want him to touch me with those nasty hands. He also refused nicotine-replacement, even though I offered to buy it for him.

Hang in there, it will get better (for both of you) eventually!

LaraKr · Jun 11, 2012

NorthernAutumn wrote:

Sorry about the sad post, guys. Nate decided to quit smoking after his exams this pastÂ Wednesday.
It's absolutely awful... mood swings up and down, barking at me, refusing to help choose gifts or plan the travel schedule, complaining constantly...

I'm so frustrated, and sad; I had encouraged him to do this in the summer so that I wouldn't have to go through this at Christmas, and we would be able to enjoy the holiday.
He tried to quit smoking last Xmas too, and it was horrendous. I know that this is hard to do, and that it is hard to control the temper while withdrawing. I'm just so upset.

Have you guys dealt with your SO trying to quit smoking? Is there any way to make this easier? He refuses to consider nicorette, the patch, or any anti-smoking aids. I really want to just leave and go to my parents, but I'm confident this would just make him more nuts.
I'm worried that he's going to break something in one of these tantrums. The man has a very long fuse, but when it blows, it blows up big! He's been known to throw stuff. It's not abusive to me, but it can certainly damage things.

Sorry about complaining... its just kinda hard right now:tears2:
He's fantastic except when he tries to quit smoking.

ETA: I know that it is VIP for him to quit; I just want to make it a little less hard on me somehow, so I'm not getting so frustrated that I'm crying.

Try to be as supportive as you can. Put yourself in his shoes, he is going through hell now, so no wonder he is not in the best of his moods! A friend of mine is trying out digital cigarettes. This is new stuff and I don't know if it works or not, but I think there is a way to lower the dose of nicotine in the liquid. So, maybe that is something that he could try? Have a look here. But I kind of look up to him. Looks like he has lots of will power to fight it on his own, that is good! That is the way to go.

NorthernAutumn · Jun 14, 2012

Lol - post from the grave hahaha!

Thanks for the advice though, Lara - sounds like it would have been a useful tool!

Nate quit on his own, during that holiday season in 2008 - he's been smoke- free ever since

blondiesmommie · Jun 14, 2012

O-m-g I smoked for about 8 years and I was a complete lunatic when I quit lol no smoking, no drinking and I was pregnant lol I knew if my boyfriend didn't kill me then, we'd make it through ANYTHING haha I feel ya!!! Or at least the bf does lol