pOker
Well-Known Member
i decided that since i canblog about the bunnies in the bunny blog forum, why not blog about myself?-its okay if no one listens, views this, comments on this-it just lets me get some things off my chest and just vent.
so here it goes- I feel like such a bad person when i cannot buy the baby exactly what he wants-3 weeks before christmas. i feel like such a bad person when i cant cook exactly what my boyfriend wants for dinner. i feel like a bad person when i cant make everyone happy.
yesterday i went shopping with the baby. he wanted EVERYTHING-and it was heartbreaking to have to walk right by it and tell him "maybe another day". and Peter works so hard in the day so it sucks not to be able to give him exactly what he wants all the time-dinner, tv time, whatever it is. and last night, i was cleaning the bunny cages, Poker is very territorial all of the sudden. when Poker and Vegas were running around together, they were grooming each other, and pushing their toys around, but then Vegas entered Pokers cage, Poker ran right over and they started to fight. i felt so helpless so worried. i took a piece of coroplast and seperated them, AFTER being scratched so terribly that my fingers swelled up and bled and bruised. i just felt so useless. As all of this was over, i checked both the buns thoroughly for any signs of injuries. i help Poker so tight and just cried. i was so hurt to begin with, this just added on. this is what im saying by not being able to make everyone happy. my fingers are still swollen, bruised and scratched up. i dont blame the bunnies, they were angry. they will no longer be out together. i decided that the lizard needs to be moved from the porch, along with the turtle, i want to make AS MUCH space as possible for the buns, and eventually their bonding. Poker being already about 16 weeks old-there is not much more time before he will be bred (i only want 1-2 litters from him) and Vegas will be getting spayed in a few months. After breeding Poker and getting him spayed, i hope that Vegas and him can then get along. anyways, i am just so angry lately. i just cant seem to get off my feet and relax. i am just so stressed and hurt and heart-broken. i shouldnt be dealing with this at my age. but with a son, a boyfriend, lots of pets, bills to pay, rent, insurance, etc-i guess i put myself in that position.
thanks for giving me some space to vent :/
so here it goes- I feel like such a bad person when i cannot buy the baby exactly what he wants-3 weeks before christmas. i feel like such a bad person when i cant cook exactly what my boyfriend wants for dinner. i feel like a bad person when i cant make everyone happy.
yesterday i went shopping with the baby. he wanted EVERYTHING-and it was heartbreaking to have to walk right by it and tell him "maybe another day". and Peter works so hard in the day so it sucks not to be able to give him exactly what he wants all the time-dinner, tv time, whatever it is. and last night, i was cleaning the bunny cages, Poker is very territorial all of the sudden. when Poker and Vegas were running around together, they were grooming each other, and pushing their toys around, but then Vegas entered Pokers cage, Poker ran right over and they started to fight. i felt so helpless so worried. i took a piece of coroplast and seperated them, AFTER being scratched so terribly that my fingers swelled up and bled and bruised. i just felt so useless. As all of this was over, i checked both the buns thoroughly for any signs of injuries. i help Poker so tight and just cried. i was so hurt to begin with, this just added on. this is what im saying by not being able to make everyone happy. my fingers are still swollen, bruised and scratched up. i dont blame the bunnies, they were angry. they will no longer be out together. i decided that the lizard needs to be moved from the porch, along with the turtle, i want to make AS MUCH space as possible for the buns, and eventually their bonding. Poker being already about 16 weeks old-there is not much more time before he will be bred (i only want 1-2 litters from him) and Vegas will be getting spayed in a few months. After breeding Poker and getting him spayed, i hope that Vegas and him can then get along. anyways, i am just so angry lately. i just cant seem to get off my feet and relax. i am just so stressed and hurt and heart-broken. i shouldnt be dealing with this at my age. but with a son, a boyfriend, lots of pets, bills to pay, rent, insurance, etc-i guess i put myself in that position.
thanks for giving me some space to vent :/
