Is that all there is? Seems like there should be more ...

[TinysMom]

I don't mean this to sound like a negative topic - although it may come across that way.

Art's mom died a few month ago - and today we got her "estate" inventory, etc. in the mail.

Its depressing.

There are pages and pages of things she owns that were inventoried....boxes of records (no with no monetary value to them) - bookshleves, furniture, etc. etc. etc.

Everything has a dollar figure attached to it. The one item I want (a Beatrix Potter item with a rabbit on it) - is $10.

But you go through and live your life and when you die - it boils down to pieces of paper with an inventory of what you had...and the value of each item or group of items.

Its as if - that is what you're worth.

My mother-in-love was worth far far more to me than her estate shows...she was priceless. No amount of money - or goods - will bring her back.

I hope that someday...when I die - I will leave behind memories that are "priceless" for those around me - who care about me.

I also hope that I don't lose sight of the fact as I go through the rest of my life - that what is important isn't "things"....its people.

Enough of my sad rambling...I just had to share.

 

[missyscove]

Tonight at dinner with a group of my friends (we're all students away at college) we were talking about going home and how we felt with changes our parents had made to our rooms. For example, I went home and knew my room at my dad's had been painted, as the whole house got painted, but I had said specifically not to move the furniture around. Well, I went home and two of my three bookcases were gone and my bed was in a different spot and my mirror was missing. Turns out my step mom thought my room looked "too much like an office" I ranted and raved to my dad - those books, and an antique singer sewing machine, were all I'd wanted out of the massive house my dad's mom & step dad had when they died. Two bookshelves worth of books were moved to the new bookcases that were installed in our "office" but the bookcases they were in had been given away and they were in a completely different order from the way I'd lovingly arranged them. The mirror, which my dad's grandparents had brought with them from Germany, had also been given away.

We have a lot of stuff from that house (my brother was 13 when they died and all the furniture was left to him - what does a 13 year old need with a dining table that seats 16?) still in storage and most of it has no sentimental value so I definitely know what you mean about just wanting one thing, and it's definitely the memories that count.

I was 11 when my Grandmother died in 2001, but last week when I had to put together a family pedigree following a Mendelian trait, I had loving memories of talking with her about how we both had hitchhiker's thumbs- which is what I ended up doing my project on.

I can confidently say that you'll leave behind a legacy of memories. Through this forum alone you - through your words and pictures - have taught me so much! I think this forum definitely played a part in me deciding to be an animal science major. We may never have met - and probably will never meet in person - but yeah, I can definitely say you've affected my life - I believe for the better.

 

[BethM]

I always feel very weird about it, but there is one thing that I would like to have when my grandmother passes away. Well, it's sort of several things- It's her box of Christmas ornaments. Most of them were purchased in Europe in the 1960's, when they were stationed in Germany. I don't know if they have much monetary value, but when I was a little girl my grandma "let" me decorate the Christmas tree every year. I have many, many memories of hanging those ornaments. Every ornament was beautiful and exciting, and my grandma would talk about being in Germany while I was hanging them. I was never allowed to touch the angel, though. I know they've been stored away for at least a decade. She does get mice, too, so it is possible that many of them have been destroyed.
Anyone who knows me knows I'm something of a Grinch, but those experiences have left me with a lasting love of Christmas ornaments. I hope I am able to get them. I have a feeling my Aunt might want them, so I don't know. If I can't get the ornaments, I don't want anything from my grandma, stuff doesn't really mean much to me.
I am debating asking her for them next time I go visit. When I got married, she offered me some antique wine glasses from Germany, but she needed me to go pack them up myself. I don't have room for them, so I thanked her and told her to hang on to them. Would it be poor taste to ask her for the ornaments as a belated wedding present?

My mom.......inherited a whole house full of things when her fiance passed away a couple years ago. He inherited the house and everything in it from his mother. For some reason, my mom thinks I will want all of the stuff, but really, I will only want a few things that actually belonged to her. I have no connection, no feeling for the other things. Sure, there are some really cool things in there, but it's just stuff that means nothing to me.

When my husband's grandmother passed away, his mom had an estate sale and kept only one small box of things. A dress, a couple old kitchen utensils she'd learned to cook with, etc. It seemed very strange and wonderful to me, as my family is the type that will pack up and keep everything.

As for me, I'm an only child and have no kids. Not sure who will end up with my stuff, or if that person would have any memories to go with the stuff. Some days, I have very melancholy thoughts about all of this.

 

[TinysMom]

I guess it was just really hard for me today (and I'm still very sad and quiet about it) - because I was gathering the numbers from my old cell phone (to put into my new one - the old one didn't have a memory card) - and Art brought in the mail - which had an inventory list of mom's possessions.

I had just gotten done feeling bad over the fact I didn't need to save her phone number anymore...that I can't ever call her again.

I was missing her horribly - then to see a list of her "stuff"...just tore me up.

I can't really expain it and I probably shouldn't even have started the thread. I guess I'm just whiny cause I don't want mom's stuff...I want HER.

She meant more to me than anything else.

 

[missyscove]

:hug:

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

It's so shocking when someone's life looks like it has been reduced to an inventory list of things that were left behind. I know after my mom and dad died, it was so hard to deal with the legal stuff. When the rest of the household stuff was auctioned off, including things from my grandma's house that my mom had lovingly saved and cherished that we just didn't have room for, and the check was received from the auctioneer, I remember thinking how indescribably sad it was that several lifetimes had been sold for such a small sum.
You are sharing the memories of Art's mom, and that's her legacy...that's what her life is really worth. I know it sounds hackneyed, but she really lives on in you and Art, and all the people she touched along the way.
I'm sorry that you are going through this... I know how hard it is....you will be in my thoughts and prayers.:hug:

 

[BethM]

:hug:

 

[hartleybun]

:hug:i've learned to treasure the memories - when my mum died of cancer 10 years ago her will made it quite clear that both me and my stepfather were to see to those effects that were not specifically bequeathed. sadly he failed to honour this when he remarried. mum had done her best to stop him doing this as she knew what he was like.

no one can take the memories away from you and no value can be placed on a treasured possession:hug:

 

[Nela]

:rose::hug:

 

[myheart]

Peg, I understand what you are going through.

My mom passed away almost eleven years ago. I still want to pick up the phone to talk with her about nothing, or everything, going on.

When my mom passed, my friend Debbie took her place, to a degree, as my go-to phone person. Debbie passed away four years ago from lung cancer. God, I want to talk with her so much...

They say it gets better, but there will always be that something missing from your life. That familiarity of the voice of someone you have loved for so long is gone.

:hug:to you and Art.

myheart