GoinBackToCali
Well-Known Member
He showed me this email his friend sent him..
"Anyway, us Aussie men, like every male on the planet, love women. And no conquest is quite as easy as the American female. Attractive and naive, they these Yankee chicks will believe anything. Why? I'm not sure but I think it has something to do with the accent. You could have a smart, intelligent, whitty, and good-looking American andthe biggest loser,tool, half stoned Aussie,living with his mommyand drinking his 8th VB for breakfast and the women simply fall at his feet. It does not matter what he says so long as he has a tan and the Australian accent.
One of the most amazing things that I would see/hear at the pubs is the outrageous stories that us Australian men would tell the women. The funniest of these is the drop bears and hoop snakes lies. Here is the short version of how these stories go:
"First, you have to watch out for hoop snakes, which have evolved the ability to hold their tails in their mouths, stretch their vertebrae and form a tight circle. They then rotate themselves until they are vertical and roll down hills very quickly. The development of paved roads has, alas, favored them, and, although cars and trucks are safe, many cyclists have been bitten from behind by hoop snakes. Few people are killed, but the bite is very painful and can put you in bed for up to a week.
Secondly, if you are driving through forests, look out for the famous Drop Bears. These relatives of the Koala also live on trees, but are carnivorous, and generally feed on forest wallabies and Eastern Grey Kangaroos. Their hunting technique is to sit well camouflaged in overhanging branches and literally drop onto passing prey. They generally fall on the back of the neck and grab the hapless victim around the throat from behind. It is a quick but unpleasant death. Loss of habitat has meant that few of these animals remain, but in heavily forested areas small colonies exist, and
riders on roads and mountain bikers especially, must be very careful."
All the while the women wide-eyed and mystified by the tales of an exotic land which they realize they barely have begun to understand (and will now certainly need an escort back to their hotel). One Aussie I knowtold me about being in the good old US of A and having a women convinced that in Australia that at night you have to strap yourself to your bed or you will fall to the ceiling...
Good on ya, ya not only got ya an American Shelia, but one with a yummy southern accent..
Keep her away from the Tim Tam's and all will be right with the world..
And to answer the inevitable question of *what's a Tim Tam?*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Tam
"Anyway, us Aussie men, like every male on the planet, love women. And no conquest is quite as easy as the American female. Attractive and naive, they these Yankee chicks will believe anything. Why? I'm not sure but I think it has something to do with the accent. You could have a smart, intelligent, whitty, and good-looking American andthe biggest loser,tool, half stoned Aussie,living with his mommyand drinking his 8th VB for breakfast and the women simply fall at his feet. It does not matter what he says so long as he has a tan and the Australian accent.
One of the most amazing things that I would see/hear at the pubs is the outrageous stories that us Australian men would tell the women. The funniest of these is the drop bears and hoop snakes lies. Here is the short version of how these stories go:
"First, you have to watch out for hoop snakes, which have evolved the ability to hold their tails in their mouths, stretch their vertebrae and form a tight circle. They then rotate themselves until they are vertical and roll down hills very quickly. The development of paved roads has, alas, favored them, and, although cars and trucks are safe, many cyclists have been bitten from behind by hoop snakes. Few people are killed, but the bite is very painful and can put you in bed for up to a week.
Secondly, if you are driving through forests, look out for the famous Drop Bears. These relatives of the Koala also live on trees, but are carnivorous, and generally feed on forest wallabies and Eastern Grey Kangaroos. Their hunting technique is to sit well camouflaged in overhanging branches and literally drop onto passing prey. They generally fall on the back of the neck and grab the hapless victim around the throat from behind. It is a quick but unpleasant death. Loss of habitat has meant that few of these animals remain, but in heavily forested areas small colonies exist, and
riders on roads and mountain bikers especially, must be very careful."
All the while the women wide-eyed and mystified by the tales of an exotic land which they realize they barely have begun to understand (and will now certainly need an escort back to their hotel). One Aussie I knowtold me about being in the good old US of A and having a women convinced that in Australia that at night you have to strap yourself to your bed or you will fall to the ceiling...
Good on ya, ya not only got ya an American Shelia, but one with a yummy southern accent..
Keep her away from the Tim Tam's and all will be right with the world..
And to answer the inevitable question of *what's a Tim Tam?*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Tam
