I really think I myself am hindering my bun's bonding :(

[jcottonl02]

I've posted quite a lot on Benji and Pippin's bonding process over the last, well, it's got to be about 2 years. God has it really been that long?

I feel a bit of a failure, as it's taken me so long and it still hasn't happened yet.

When I started the bonding I would do it a few times a week for times ranging between half an hour, to 2 hours! I couldn't stop Pippin humping Benji's face, and Benji nipping Pippin as he ran past. Sometimes this would escalate into a fight. Sometimes it would fizzle out.
Sometimes a whole bonding session would go by with just grooming, nuzzling etc. and no aggression or dominant behaviours at all! Then the next day something would happen.

Now they live together in the shed parted just by (very thick) wire, so they live 24/7 together nuzzling and they sleep next to one another through the bars. I see this all the time. They never act aggressively through the bars- only to groom and nuzzle.

When my Dad is there helping it always goes so much smoother. Because I just stress. When they go near eachother now I whip them apart instinctively, which doesn't help their bonding at all.
After being bitten myself when trying to break up a huge fight, and finding a scab on Pippin, I've been so worried throughout bonding sessions that I just tried to put them off, but throughout the summer my Dad would almost force me to put them together and help me out, and it would always go really well when he was there. I'd stress and he'd tell me to shut up, which is what I need lol.

Since the summer, though, Dad has been back at work and I've been back at Uni, so the bonding hasn't happened so much.

I just brought them together again now, in a neutral room, thinking it would be quite breezy. But all I did was hinder it! I was stressing, and when Benji turned to look at Pippin and walk quickly towards him I got scared and before I knew it i was grabbing Pippin away from Benji (just in case!!!) and I myself caused Benji to growl, by acting the way I did.
And my negative energy must affect them surely?

In just over a years time I'll be out of Uni and the bunnies will be living in my house with me. I'm wondering whether this will make it SO much easier to bond? I desparetly want them to be bonded here because I want them to be free running throughout the day with me.

They snuggle, they groom, they lick and they bunny flop next to eachother and binky. They also hump, growl, nip, chase, fight and bite.

Should I just give up and accept now? It's been 2 years, but not solidly bonding.

Or does this sound like it can work?

And how oh how do I stop myself from hindering it, whilst not placing them in danger?
Just one bite to the throat or something.....it makes me shudder. To look at my arm and think that could be on one of their throats or bellies.....

Jen

 

[Happi Bun]

Sounds like it could very well work to me, but you need to just breathe and stop interfering.

The more times you step in and separate them, the longer it will take and harder it will be. They need to learn to work out their relationship problems on their own. Even if a bite to the neck did happen (unlikely, rabbits aren't predators so they wouldn't go for that area) it would not be a death sentence. A scab is not a big deal either. My foster rabbit got a nasty bite on her back from fighting through the bars when out playing. I didn't even know it happened until it scabbed up nice and big. She was totally fine.

If they get in a fight try a water bottle. Squirt at them until they stop. They will likely separate or stop to clean themselves off. It gives them time to cool down, you time to relax (lol) and all without having to separate them.

There was a point I thought Dunkin and Amber wouldn't bond. Amber would hump Dunkin like she was getting paid for it. It would make Dunkin very grumpy. This would result in a fight. A few times they would become a tumbling ball of flying fur. Scared me half to death! Both were always fine after I would pick up one bunny and sit them at the opposite end of the room or bonding enclosure (note that I still did not separate).

Despite being completely in love they still chase each other and will nip when getting into arguments. However it's mostly doing everything together, cuddling and grooming. All relationships have their bad moments, rabbits are no exception.

 

[jcottonl02]

Thanks for the reply Happi bun.

I know it's just sooooo hard lol. Now that you have told me a bite is not gonna be the end of the world, that has calmed me a little. I have always been under the impression that bites on a rabbit are really much more serious than those on a cat or dog, just to do with the rabbit's skin. Not sure the exact details, and not sure where I actually got that from.

So if they start the humping/chasing kind of behaviour shall I let them sort it (starts hyperventilating just at the thought lol) or stop it? Obviously if it gets viscious I would, but are some tumbling/chasing/nipping okay to be left for a little to see if they solve the dominance issue themselves?

I am just way to cautious.

Eugh. Water doesn't work on Benji. Once he starts, nothing stops him. That's why I had to interfere myself that one time, and got bit.


Wow your Dunkin and Amber sound just like Ben and Pip! That's quite encouraging. Did you leave them to solve their issues? Which was dominant? Pip is not aggressive at all and will run, BUT he is the one who humps. Very confusing. Then Benji get's annoyed and the big tumbling ball of fur starts. Or Benji chases Pippin nipping his bum.

Jen

 

[Tweetiepy]

Althought I haven't done the bonding thing yet, it's still a few months away but I read up on it before I even try. The water bottle, it says, is for before the fight starts, like when they ears go down and the tail goes up - they said that once the fight starts, the water is useless.

How about asking your dad to bond them - with you out of the room but close by in case there is a fight? Since he's much more calm, the bunnies may be more relaxed.

I'll be attempting this when my baby comes of age and has been fixed, but I feel I'll need all the help I can get (mine are both males too)

 

[elrohwen]

Their behavior sounds extremely normal - Hannah would chase and hump Otto all the time and it made Otto pretty grouchy. I also think you getting upset about it is setting them back, unfortunately :-( You need to either figure out a way to be calm about it and just let them be together (at this point, you could probably move them into a pen together in a neutral area for many hours at a time), or ask someone like your dad to do it for you while you leave the house. They need to be monitored, and they might have a scuffled, but I think they're long past the time of seriously hurting each other. Just because they can hurt one another doesn't mean they will - bunnies use their scuffles to communicate with each other, not to maim and kill except in extreme circumstances. You need to allow them a little bit of communication or they won't ever work things out.

Good luck! I know how hard it is and I struggled with how much freedom to give my buns during bonding. The instinct is there to rush in and separate them whenever anything happens, but you have to let them have some interaction or they won't ever get there. And for what its worth, I think they can definitely be a bonded pair much more easily than you think.

 

[jcottonl02]

Thanks Tweetiepie. I see. Fights break out so quickly with my two- it's so hard to anticipate.

Thanks loads Laura. That is so encouraging! You honestly don't know how glad I am to hear that. I will really try and follow your advice.

I will keep you guys updated. But I am so glad to hear that this is similar to your situation Laura, and you think they sound like they can be bonded much easier than I think. Phew!

Jen

 

[elrohwen]

I remember when Hannah and Otto got into a little fight a whole month or more after I had moved them in together. Hannah was chasing him (I think, since it was 5am and we weren't up yet) and he finally turned around and confronted her. They were going around in circles when we came down, and we had to physically separate them. It was scary, and there was fur everywhere, and Otto was very very grouchy, haha, but they were both ok! He needed to let Hannah know that chasing him around like that was not ok. I'm not saying that letting them fight is a good idea (we certainly ran down and separated them as fast as we could) probabl, just that they can scrap like that and it doesn't mean they're going for blood - if they were going to seriously hurt each other, they probably would've done it by now. You need to break it up before they get any ideas and get too into it, but you don't need to stop any interaction they have.

I used to have gerbils and I had two boys who didn't get along. They got into a fight that drew blood at once time, but then were able to live together again. After their brother passed away, their bonded started to break and I could feel the tension. One day they went at it again - right for the jugular, and one ended up bleeding. Two animals like that, who really don't get along, will make it will known! These guys didn't sleep together or snuggle or do anything like that for a couple weeks before their throwdown - I don't think your bunnies are in the same situation at all. They just need time to work out their communication and too much interference will hinder that. Plus, your anxiety will make both of them more anxious (as I think you've guessed) which will only make things more difficult.

 

[Flash Gordon]

when there was tension or stress in our house that was when my pitbull would go after either one of the other dogs or one of the cats....no joke ,EVERY single time my ex and i had a disagreement or i was sad my pit mustve sensed it and fed off of it.....my pit doesnt have contact with any of the other animals now..she has a run on the side of the house and when i do bring her in for luv shes muzzled...my current boyfriend and i have a non stress household now but we still keep her away just in case...anyways my point is ,,yea animals know when ur uneasy...take a couple deep breaths before u start the bond..i have to do this when i have bonded buns..cuz im high strung to begin with and at first it made bonding impossible..its tough to relax i know