I NEED your opinion!!

[diamond]

I was thinking what with all this talkof children that i should adopt a child im only thinking about it atthe moment but i NEED all of your opinions!! PLEASEwrite back to this page!!

Love

Diamondxxx:bunnydance:

 

[KatyG]

There are so many children out thereneeding a loving home and adoption is a wonderful thing but there areso many questions you need to ask first. I am not beingpatronising obviously you know this, all I mean is that it is difficultfor us to give advice when we do not know youpersonally. Maybe you could tell us some more about why youwant a child? I don't mean to pry it is just people will beable to give more useful advice if they know more.

love katy x

 

[Lissa]

I think adoption is wonderful. I definitely want children of my own though.

 

[mandou15000]

It's a good idea there is so children who need a family !
But first let you think about it for a few days !(it's english??)

 

[TinysMom]

I was adopted shortly before I was a year old(I'm now in my 40s) and there are times when I highly recommend it -and many more times when I don't recommend it.

I recommend it if your life is already full and fairly steady and youstill have love to give out to a child. By "full" - I don'tmean busy - but I mean - you're old enough that you know who you areand what you want out of life and you understand that there aresacrifices to be made when raising a child.

I also think you have to be fairly stable in personality - not easilyangered - somewhat patient (although that grows as the child grows..youlearn to be more patient).

Too many folks though seem to want to adopt because they think it will"fulfill" them or it will "make their marriage" (oh..it will make itsomething - I guarantee that).

I'm not saying a child doesn't help complete your life...itdoes. But.....if that is the motivation...go buy a talkingdoll that has several functions!

I also think it is important to be in a stable, committed relationshipwhich already has some history behind it. Having arelationship is hard enough - adding in a child ... well...it justmakes things harder as you don't have as much time for each other.

I have considered adoption - I have a set of 21 year old twins and I'vebeen married for 26 years and am in my mid 40's. However,having been adopted and knowing how hard it can be on both parent andchild when they dont' come from you and you wonder, "Why in the worldis this child like this?"....has made me decide that now is not thetime....finances also had a LARGE part in that decision though!

Let me give some examples...

I hate wearing shoes. I walk in a house and kick my shoes offimmediately. My adopted mom - puts on shoes almostimmediately after getting out of bed. To this day.....shestill feels I'm being "rebellious" because I don't wear shoes unless Ihave to. (Imagine then my shock upon being at mybirth-mother's house and watching her walk in the house...pull off hershoes, and hang them on the antlers over the den (laughing the wholetime about how she HATES HATES HATES shoes)).

I like country patterns and an eclectic look for decorating.My adopted mom is much more formal...she hates the way Idecorate...imagine my shock when I walked into my birthmother's home(after seeing the shoe incident above) and seeing she had all the HomeInteriors pictures I'd circled in the catalog....plus the samefigurines I was collecting!

On and on the examples go - in my case - my adopted mom couldn't getbeyond the "why are you so different?" to really love me the way Iam....

Then again - I'm probably in an older generation than you are - and society and people's mindsets have changed a lot...

Peg

 

[rabbitgirl]

I've given thought to the issue over the last 12years, and would like to consider foreign adoption about 10 yrs. downthe line. Been doing some research over the years, but I think thebiggest help would be to get involved with a group of adoptive parentsand talk to them about the issues they have faced, and meet theirchildren. I'd like to have a financial and etc. plan, about 5-7 yrs.ahead of actually doing it.

Money is another big issue! But on the other side, there are an awfullot of kids needing homes. It's a tough choice and not one made lightlyor quickly.

Rose

 

[AnnaS]

Peg, I had no idea there is so much involved.But I guess the only way knowing about adoption is going through ityourself. Psychologically its hard, since when the child comes fromyou, you take a lot of things that come naturally for granted.

I think before adopting its a good idea to talk to somebody who adoptedbefore or who was adopted to make sure you address all of the issues.

 

[naturestee]

If I were to have children (highly, highlydoubtful) I've always wanted to adopt. I have two adoptedcousins and several friends that were adopted. It alwaysseemed kind of normal to me. I think, like Peg said, thatsome people go in with certain expectations of the nature vs. nurturepsychological effects, and they get dissapointed. But itdoesn't work like that in all families. One of my bestfriends in high school was adopted, as were her two younger siblings,all from different families. Their parents encouraged them todo whatever interested them and accepted their differences.So my friend was into music, debate, forensics, etc. and her brotherwas into sports her sister mainly liked to sit at home andread. Of course, this can happen with genetic siblings too (Ihave a science degree, my brother teaches music, and my sister's alawyer).

Although one of my other friends who was adopted had an older brotherthat was her parents' genetic offspring. She was always madeto feel inferior because of that and it probably changed a lot in herlife.

If you want to adopt, look for one of the support groups outthere. Go to meetings and talk to the parents. Evengetting the child can be very frustrating because of the rules and redtape.

 

[bunnyandme]

My fiance and I will be going to college tobecome missionaries, and aside from having our own children, we plan toadopt.. I think its a great idea. I'd do it if I were you.