I feel so stressed....

[mouse_chalk]

I've just had the most horrible day, and I'm not even sure why really...

We're moving on Saturday, and I've packed up most of the living room, on my own, but that's it so far. I strained my back lifting the filled boxes... We've got an estate agent coming round tomorrow to measure up and take pictures for our landlord (who's selling our house) so that the house can be put on the market. The place is a mess, I've just felt so ill recently that I'm not able to keep on top of it enough...

Steve has been working approx 19 hour days for 2 weeks at least now, he does his best to help out and tidy etc but he's self employed and has to build the websites to the deadlines or he wont get paid and wont get more work offered!

I've not been out, apart from trips to the hospital or supermarket, or one trip to Ikea(that I've begged to go to just to get out of the house) in 4 weeks, and I can't do anything for myself at all...

We've got to fork out soo much cash for this house, on top of the hefty deposit, and first months rent (and due to the overlap, half a month's rent for our current place too) plus we've had to buy a washing machine, and need lots more furniture for this place too....

I don't know if any of you remember this but apart from my recent surgery I've been off work for months now with a balance disorder. My employers had been overpaying me (mistakenly) for a few months, which was allowing me to pay my personal bills, and pay my fair share of rent and household bills etc, but they must have realised what was going on and now my income has dropped to 1/4 of what it was.... overnight. What I'm being paid now doesn't even cover my share of the rent, let alone the food, household bills, insurance, etc etc, so Steve is working so hard to try and cover both of us.

Due to the move and all the extra expense, we're just finding it impossible to find all the necessary money, so I asked my mum and dad to lend (long term loan) me the money for my extra rent this month, around £150, just to ease the pressure a bit. They'relending me my half of the deposit for the new place, which they'll get back when our deposit for the current place is returned in a few weeks.... Anyway, they said that they'd give me half, but that they'd only give the other half once they see that I start 'taking responsibility and showing some commitment' to getting the current deposit returned in full. Basicall they think I'm not doing enough around the house at the moment to keep it clean, and to ensure that the deposit will be returned.

My mum has been so great, she comes round everyday to dress the wound from my recent surgery, she's given me lifts to all my hospital appointments etc, and most of the time she seems to really understand how much pain I've been in and how ill I've been. But then everyday she comes round, she finds cause to criticise, how I've not done the washing up and how can I possibly leave it, how this isn't done, that isn't done, etc etc, and just constantly makes me feel bad for not doing enough around the house. At the moment I feel so ill that I can stand up for an hour, tops, without feeling REALLY ill and having to lie down after.. and she knows that.... Steve is so busy working this week that he can't spare too much time to help me pack....

I just don't know how I'm supposed to do it all? I just can't. I just feel so overwhelmed with everything at the moment, it all just seems too much to take.... :cry1:

I have to mention that I don't have a problem if my parents can't/wont lend me the money, I hate even having to ask them and apart from the deposit haven't asked them for money in ages... I hate having to depend on other people... It's just that they seem to think I'm not being responsible, and being lazy, and I'm not, I'm really not, I'm doing all I can... It's just not good enough to me or anyone at the moment

I'm sorry for going on so much, I've just been crying and crying today, and it's funny, I don't keep a diary to speak of, and apart from crying on Steve's shoulder, I just thought that posting it allhere might make me feel better, even if nobody reads it lol...

Just basically:

:cry1::cry1::cry1::cry1::cry1::cry1::cry1::cry1:

 

[JamesCarden]

awww it looks like your in a real pickle! I think you just really need to focus and do your very best. its all you really can do! and bunnys are great for comfort. just hug one or three!



James

 

[Korr_and_Sophie]

HUGS FOR YOU
:hugsquish:

 

[Brandy456]

The real estate person can't expect your house to look like a showroom. Your moving for god sakes. Plus. It really isn't your fault about the clenliness. Your alone at it and you just had surgery. No one in thier right mind would think your house would look super tidy.

If you ask your parent to help you pack, siblings..Neighbors?. Have a packing party.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Oh gosh, I know how that stuff is and it's awful having to ask for help, but you didn't ask to have to move, nor did you plan it at all.

It's all been weird and unfortunate with the surgery and stuff.... just try to remember that it's all temporary and things will get better! :hug:

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

You poor thing. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. When do you have to be out? Do you know when the house is going on the market? I hope it's not til after you're out, or there's one more pain in the butt for you that you don't need at all. Plus, you guys can come clean real good after you've moved your stuff out. Would they let you do that?

I hope it all gets better soon, hon:hug:.

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

:hugsquish:

 

[polly]

:hug::hugsquish::hug2::bunnyhugon't let it get you down you can only do what you can manage. As for parents well thats their job isn't it to criticise us ?? mine are the same they see the hours I work then nag me for the front garden being a mess Knowing I don't have the time money or strength to do it. Just do what I do tell them there are rubber gloves under the sink :biggrin2:

Hugs to you cause its teh last thing you need at the moment. Do what you can but just be very careful with yourself at the same time:hug2:

 

[kirst3buns]

:hugsquishacking and moving is a lot of work and your house never looks clean when you're doing it! On top of all that, you just aren't feeling 100%. Don't be too hard on yourself. When I moved a few years ago, I followed a plan I found on a website called flylady.net. She has wonderful advice about working for 15 minutes and then resting for 15 minutes. Maybe that would help because you wouldn't start to feel really ill.

Here's a link to her moving tips: http://www.flylady.net/pages/Flying_MovingTips.asp

I hope this helps. Her website has helped me immensly when I'm overwhelmed. Although the moving tips are nice, my favorite thing flylady says is to set a timer for 15 minutes, work, then set a timer for 15 minutes and take a break. It is amazing what you can get done in 15 minutes.

 

[maherwoman]

Oh gosh...that's a lot to have to do with the pain you're in!

I hope things smooth out for you soon, Sweetie...so you can recover quietly and without so much stress...

:hug:

 

[MsBinky]

Ooooh sending you a million hugs. If we could, we'd all be down there helping you pack!

 

[Gabby]

i've moved several times in my life, so i can very well imagine what you are going through right now, with just general move and ontop of that, the dizziness and all. hugs for you thinking of you--Gabby:hug:

 

[nermal71]

Oh honey I can sympathize. We moved 16 years ago when I was pregnant and on bedrest. And I had everyone telling me I needed to "get it all done". I ended up scooting around our apt on my backside, which of course I know you cannot due. But it was all I could think to do....all while my the 1y/o oldest son kept unpacking everything I was packing. So sending you super big gentle hugs.

 

[mouse_chalk]

Thank you all so much.... it really means a lot you just offering your words of support!

I would have replied to this earlier, but it's been such a hectic day. Against Steve's advice I got up at 8am, having hardly slept at all, and cleaned the house non-stop for 3 or 4 hours to get it looking tidy for the estate agent, who then turned up half an hour earlier than I'd expected when i had stuff all over the place that needed sorting out...

My mum came over to take me to a doctor's appointment, and she told me that her and dad have decided to lend me the money that I asked to borrow after all, because they feel they have no choice but to help me out, and risk losing their deposit :?I did say to my mum that the reason we are so short this month is paying extra rent, due to the overlap we have. We've got an extra week after we move out before our tenancy expires, so this current place will still be ours. We did that on purpose so that we'd have enough time to clean, fix the bunny-nibbled skirting boards etc! I also said to my mum that how did she expect me to do everything round the house, and that I'm doing my best etc etc... she just agreed with me (??!) and said that was what she'd told my dad? So maybe it came from him in the first place, although it's unlike him because usually where money is involved he's more inclined to be over-generous than the other way round...

Anyway, I don't know, but it's a bit of a relief that there's not so much pressure on anymore... I just still don't understand why they think I'm not being responsible and making enough of an effort though, when my mum then makes it clear that she understands how ill I am and how limited I am at the moment? :dunno

So, then I had a fairly relaxed afternoon/evening, my best friend came round with chocolate and a bottle of wine, and we watched a film and played some Wii... which helped, to chat and relax a bit!

And now Chalk's ill.... just been on a trip to the emergency vets, she's not eaten at all since last night, has barely moved all day and seemed to be dragging one of her back legs earlier, and she weed on herself too :?I'm ABSOLUTELY shattered, and it's 3.15am now, but I'm not moving from the sofa, I'm staying here to watch that she's ok... My poor baby, I just really hope that she gets better soon!

Thank you again though everyone, it really helps that you're all so lovely! :hug: