JAK Rabbitry
Well-Known Member
You may remember the How Dumb Am I? Post from a while back in which I brushed my hair with a razor. hahaha shut up.
Well this one takes the cake.
So there I was in the rabbitry cleaning up and straightening things up and I happen to glance at Ezra (My Enderby buck) 's cage and I'm like oh yeah he needs med stuff. So I figure while i'm in there I'll play doctor and I get ez out and put him on my grooming table which I'd situated just outside the door. Ezra has a mild ear mite infestation in both ears and I've been treating it with baby oil the last 3 days or so. Boy he smells terriffic. anyways...
He does NOT like his ears swabbed. So I put a few drops on the edges of his ear and let is run and then I just take a free finger and smooth out the excess. Well, after 3 days he knows what that smell/bottle means and he shakes his head and long story short, byt he time his ears are taken care of, my hands are COVERED in a nice coat of baby oil. And I'm sitting there covered in oil and Ezra makes a hop for it and leaps from the grooming table. I half-caught him inches from the ground and just managed to not let him hit too hard and he rolled over and fell all funky and then the baby oil comes flying off the wobbly table and nearly beans him in the face. And I yelled at him. " You moron you almost got brain dead with that daring escape of yours!"
Then i'm like '' Ew Ez you're all shedding and gross'. So since he was out and he had 2 different lengths/types/colors of fur going on, I proceeded to pluck all that long ucky fur off his back end that was having trouble shedding out. And he just chilled while I did it. I got SOOOOO much hair off him. And because my hands were covered in baby oil, all the hair stuck to my hands until it looked like I was sporting a pair of mittens.
I put Ezra back inside and just as i'm walking through the door of the rabbitry to go outside....a large black bee flies right towards my face and hits me in the mouth...and latches on. Well, I panicked. Bug on me isn't so bad but BEE IN MY MOUTH doesn't quite sit right with me, y'know? So i'm flailing and screaming and spitting and pursing my lips and pretty much running around looking like an incoherent fool of a circus clown battling an infestation of red ants in my underwear. A VW beetle and squirty flower would have really topped off the moment.
So I'm swiping at my face but at the same time I don't want to touch the bee because it might sting my hand but then I decided it's better than getting stung in the mouth so I grab at my lip where the bee hit me and I feel sharp pointy things and I'm like '' omg his legs! He's latched on to me!'' and I grabbed it and started pulling and yanking and screaming and spitting and pain shoots through my lip like nobody's business and it starts feeling bigger. I thought ''oh no! He's stung me! I'm swelling up!'' And I keep batting at myself but because my hands are covered in ''mittens'' I can't feel...anything. And I'm getting rabbit fur in my mouth and it's sticking to my mouth because of the oil. So basically I look like a drunken santa clause out for a round of beer pong at 3AM.
And something that REALLY irritates me is having to battle with animal hair in my mouth. So I just took a second to stop, relax, and spit out this obnoxious hair. And then I realize.... huh...the bee is gone. Oh wait.... The bee I was pulling on wasn't a bee at all. It was my friggin' lip ring. Yes, I had been trying to tear my jewelery out of my face. And I opened up a whoel new can of worms, not to mention it wasn't quite healed yet, hence the pain and the swelling. I have one of those horse shoe-shaped rings with points on each end...which I mistook for ''legs''.
So now Mrs Clause over here not only looks drunk and defeated, but also like sheh ad a run in with Mike Tyson in a back alley with no witnesses to speak of.
So if you ever have a mild head on collision with a bee... just skip right to the spitting because I think it really helps one to think, and you'll make less of an arse of yourself spitting in public than flailing around like cdrunken clown santa.
Iw ish I had a video but you'll just have to use your imagination.
-Jesse
Well this one takes the cake.
So there I was in the rabbitry cleaning up and straightening things up and I happen to glance at Ezra (My Enderby buck) 's cage and I'm like oh yeah he needs med stuff. So I figure while i'm in there I'll play doctor and I get ez out and put him on my grooming table which I'd situated just outside the door. Ezra has a mild ear mite infestation in both ears and I've been treating it with baby oil the last 3 days or so. Boy he smells terriffic. anyways...
He does NOT like his ears swabbed. So I put a few drops on the edges of his ear and let is run and then I just take a free finger and smooth out the excess. Well, after 3 days he knows what that smell/bottle means and he shakes his head and long story short, byt he time his ears are taken care of, my hands are COVERED in a nice coat of baby oil. And I'm sitting there covered in oil and Ezra makes a hop for it and leaps from the grooming table. I half-caught him inches from the ground and just managed to not let him hit too hard and he rolled over and fell all funky and then the baby oil comes flying off the wobbly table and nearly beans him in the face. And I yelled at him. " You moron you almost got brain dead with that daring escape of yours!"
Then i'm like '' Ew Ez you're all shedding and gross'. So since he was out and he had 2 different lengths/types/colors of fur going on, I proceeded to pluck all that long ucky fur off his back end that was having trouble shedding out. And he just chilled while I did it. I got SOOOOO much hair off him. And because my hands were covered in baby oil, all the hair stuck to my hands until it looked like I was sporting a pair of mittens.
I put Ezra back inside and just as i'm walking through the door of the rabbitry to go outside....a large black bee flies right towards my face and hits me in the mouth...and latches on. Well, I panicked. Bug on me isn't so bad but BEE IN MY MOUTH doesn't quite sit right with me, y'know? So i'm flailing and screaming and spitting and pursing my lips and pretty much running around looking like an incoherent fool of a circus clown battling an infestation of red ants in my underwear. A VW beetle and squirty flower would have really topped off the moment.
So I'm swiping at my face but at the same time I don't want to touch the bee because it might sting my hand but then I decided it's better than getting stung in the mouth so I grab at my lip where the bee hit me and I feel sharp pointy things and I'm like '' omg his legs! He's latched on to me!'' and I grabbed it and started pulling and yanking and screaming and spitting and pain shoots through my lip like nobody's business and it starts feeling bigger. I thought ''oh no! He's stung me! I'm swelling up!'' And I keep batting at myself but because my hands are covered in ''mittens'' I can't feel...anything. And I'm getting rabbit fur in my mouth and it's sticking to my mouth because of the oil. So basically I look like a drunken santa clause out for a round of beer pong at 3AM.
And something that REALLY irritates me is having to battle with animal hair in my mouth. So I just took a second to stop, relax, and spit out this obnoxious hair. And then I realize.... huh...the bee is gone. Oh wait.... The bee I was pulling on wasn't a bee at all. It was my friggin' lip ring. Yes, I had been trying to tear my jewelery out of my face. And I opened up a whoel new can of worms, not to mention it wasn't quite healed yet, hence the pain and the swelling. I have one of those horse shoe-shaped rings with points on each end...which I mistook for ''legs''.
So now Mrs Clause over here not only looks drunk and defeated, but also like sheh ad a run in with Mike Tyson in a back alley with no witnesses to speak of.
So if you ever have a mild head on collision with a bee... just skip right to the spitting because I think it really helps one to think, and you'll make less of an arse of yourself spitting in public than flailing around like cdrunken clown santa.
Iw ish I had a video but you'll just have to use your imagination.
-Jesse
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