maherwoman
Well-Known Member
Hey guys...
I had such a horrible day yesterday. I was sitting here at home, at about 4:30pm, preparing our home to have about seven people over at about 7pm (we play Dungeons and Dragons on occassion with our friends), and was wondering where my husband was, since he was about an hour and a half later than we had agreed (so he could help me clean). At about 5pm, I received a call, and the caller ID said "Prison". Turns out my husband had been arrested!!
A little background: our tags have been expired for a bit (because it is about $300 to register the car, and we have just not had the ability to pay for it). My automatic thought was that the tags were expired, but why would they arrest him for that? They would at worse impound the car!
So, he then reminded me of the fact that about two years ago, he'd gotten a speeding ticket during our drive to San Diego to see his family, and at the time he neglected (forgot) to go into court and handle it. From that, they suspended his license...but he then handled that, and we thought everything was okay. Turns out it wasn't, and there was a warrant out for his arrest!! I honestly don't understand the situation, as he had handled it so far as getting a temporary license, and we had been waiting for his new one in the mail! I saw the paperwork myself, and trust my husband, but he didn't follow up, and something must have happened to cancel things out...I don't know what on earth is happening!
So, back to the situation at hand, his bail was $2500, which we also didn't have (he had the 10% on him to pay a bail bondsman, but then we would owe the bondsman for the rest). Since he'd been told that spending the night there might be viewed as "time served" and cancel out any financial charges from all this, we decided that financially this was the best idea. So, my husband, with his otherwise completely clean record, and very good and moral life, with the exception of our recent financial troubles, had to spend the night in jail.
Now, bear in mind, both of us come from a good family. I don't think a single person in our family's ever been arrested, or spent any time in jail. Our families are very moral, good people, so it's not like we come from a criminal family, and do unethical things, or anything like that. We don't even drink!!
In addition to all that, our car, a 1996 Saturn 2 door, has been impounded, and unless he can square away things with his license, and we can pay to get the registration handled, it will be on an automatic 30 day hold, which means we would have to pay MUCH more than the car is worth to get it back. If that is the case, we will be forced to just get a new (different, used) vehicle...and I really don't know when that can happen.
Ultimately, I know this was all our responsibility and is something we brought on ourselves, but that doesn't make it feel any better. I know we should have paid the registration, and when that time came around again, we waited for the paperwork from the DMV (as we'd given them our new address), but it never came, and it just slipped our minds in the start. I know that's no excuse, and I know this is a learning experience...it's just really difficult. We've been trying...it's not like it wasn't on our minds...and he knew he was taking a risk taking the car anywhere, but it's hard because there are things that need to be done.
It feels really aweful going through this...and I feel bad that I'm so embarassed to even write about it, but at the same time I know you guys love me, and are there for me...and that's really what I need right now...to know those two things. I felt like I abandoned my husband last night in having to have him spend the night there, though at the same time, I know it's him taking responsibility for his actions (or actually his in-actions).
I feel so lost and upset and stupid and irresponsible...the list goes on. My best friend and his wife came over last night to keep me company, because I was really not doing well, and that helped. They've always been there for both of us. I felt really bad for watching a movie, playing a small little game, just the three of us (they were trying to keep me from crying by keeping my mind off things), having dinner...all without my husband, and with him having to be where he was. I felt so horrible that he had to stay there, and that I couldn't just go right over and bring him home. I slept so little last night, and woke early this morning, so I would be awake for when he came out of court this morning. Maybe the way I feel is hightened by my tiredness, I don't know.
Ultimately, we paid the biggest price for a stupid couple of mistakes that were basically not making sure things were handled...and it's really horrible.
So, as a lesson to everyone out there...be sure you follow up and fully handle things. You don't want this to happen to you and yours. Learn from my experience.
Hugs and love to you all,
Rosie
P.S. Just to add this...my husband is an incredibly decent and moral individual. He spends his days and nights trying to provide everyone around him with the best lives possible. He works very hard for the money he brings home. The only reason we're having financial problems is because he ok'd a job for a friend that's WAY underpaying, and that is probably the one thing I would complain about with him, is letting himself be out of exchange with customers just to be a nice guy about it and be able to help them with what they need done. It's not the first time this has happened. I love him so much...
I had such a horrible day yesterday. I was sitting here at home, at about 4:30pm, preparing our home to have about seven people over at about 7pm (we play Dungeons and Dragons on occassion with our friends), and was wondering where my husband was, since he was about an hour and a half later than we had agreed (so he could help me clean). At about 5pm, I received a call, and the caller ID said "Prison". Turns out my husband had been arrested!!
A little background: our tags have been expired for a bit (because it is about $300 to register the car, and we have just not had the ability to pay for it). My automatic thought was that the tags were expired, but why would they arrest him for that? They would at worse impound the car!
So, he then reminded me of the fact that about two years ago, he'd gotten a speeding ticket during our drive to San Diego to see his family, and at the time he neglected (forgot) to go into court and handle it. From that, they suspended his license...but he then handled that, and we thought everything was okay. Turns out it wasn't, and there was a warrant out for his arrest!! I honestly don't understand the situation, as he had handled it so far as getting a temporary license, and we had been waiting for his new one in the mail! I saw the paperwork myself, and trust my husband, but he didn't follow up, and something must have happened to cancel things out...I don't know what on earth is happening!
So, back to the situation at hand, his bail was $2500, which we also didn't have (he had the 10% on him to pay a bail bondsman, but then we would owe the bondsman for the rest). Since he'd been told that spending the night there might be viewed as "time served" and cancel out any financial charges from all this, we decided that financially this was the best idea. So, my husband, with his otherwise completely clean record, and very good and moral life, with the exception of our recent financial troubles, had to spend the night in jail.
Now, bear in mind, both of us come from a good family. I don't think a single person in our family's ever been arrested, or spent any time in jail. Our families are very moral, good people, so it's not like we come from a criminal family, and do unethical things, or anything like that. We don't even drink!!
In addition to all that, our car, a 1996 Saturn 2 door, has been impounded, and unless he can square away things with his license, and we can pay to get the registration handled, it will be on an automatic 30 day hold, which means we would have to pay MUCH more than the car is worth to get it back. If that is the case, we will be forced to just get a new (different, used) vehicle...and I really don't know when that can happen.
Ultimately, I know this was all our responsibility and is something we brought on ourselves, but that doesn't make it feel any better. I know we should have paid the registration, and when that time came around again, we waited for the paperwork from the DMV (as we'd given them our new address), but it never came, and it just slipped our minds in the start. I know that's no excuse, and I know this is a learning experience...it's just really difficult. We've been trying...it's not like it wasn't on our minds...and he knew he was taking a risk taking the car anywhere, but it's hard because there are things that need to be done.
It feels really aweful going through this...and I feel bad that I'm so embarassed to even write about it, but at the same time I know you guys love me, and are there for me...and that's really what I need right now...to know those two things. I felt like I abandoned my husband last night in having to have him spend the night there, though at the same time, I know it's him taking responsibility for his actions (or actually his in-actions).
I feel so lost and upset and stupid and irresponsible...the list goes on. My best friend and his wife came over last night to keep me company, because I was really not doing well, and that helped. They've always been there for both of us. I felt really bad for watching a movie, playing a small little game, just the three of us (they were trying to keep me from crying by keeping my mind off things), having dinner...all without my husband, and with him having to be where he was. I felt so horrible that he had to stay there, and that I couldn't just go right over and bring him home. I slept so little last night, and woke early this morning, so I would be awake for when he came out of court this morning. Maybe the way I feel is hightened by my tiredness, I don't know.
Ultimately, we paid the biggest price for a stupid couple of mistakes that were basically not making sure things were handled...and it's really horrible.
So, as a lesson to everyone out there...be sure you follow up and fully handle things. You don't want this to happen to you and yours. Learn from my experience.
Hugs and love to you all,
Rosie
P.S. Just to add this...my husband is an incredibly decent and moral individual. He spends his days and nights trying to provide everyone around him with the best lives possible. He works very hard for the money he brings home. The only reason we're having financial problems is because he ok'd a job for a friend that's WAY underpaying, and that is probably the one thing I would complain about with him, is letting himself be out of exchange with customers just to be a nice guy about it and be able to help them with what they need done. It's not the first time this has happened. I love him so much...
