English story, please telling how it its

[irishlops]

for school

[align=center]Mind games.[/b][/align]
We all snapped out of our trances as the ringing of the phone pierced the air, which was thick with boredom.
As some one jumped up to answer it, a blonde haired consultant stopped trying to make a sorry looking bouncy ball from a few limited elastic bands sitting in a muddled mess on the desk.
Giving a stretch he got up off a sore uncomfortable office chair and looked out the window mid stretch. Rain and dark ominous clouds casting a dark shadow over the busy San Diego city.
“We have a case, get your stuff Ill explain it on the way” announced a petite brown haired woman over her shoulder, already going to her locker.
A few minutes later an eager group of special victims’ unit investigators bundled into the car, excited at the prospect of a case... but felling guilty of being so cold.
The consultant detective, who was only here on a trial basis sat shotgun.
Shaking his hair like a dog, as he forgot to cover head against the heavy rain.
Heavy splodges of raindrops hit the woman, miss doe gave him a venomous glare with out a word she started to drive on, after a few moments she decided to fill in the rest of her [/i]team about the case.
Clearing her throat she began, “a few unusual deaths has occurred in the past week, the san Diego bureau of investigation has decided they are linked and we are assigned to this case.” Continuing, “3 dead homeless people have been murdered in the main city alley ways behind Carlos bar and club, and one found about half a mile away in a dumpster, 2 more new bodies were found this morning.” “What’s so strange… some homeless people are found dead.. Could be anything...” interrupted Jack Temple.
“Mr., Temple, I have accepted you on to my team, please don’t interrupt me, and don’t be so sceptical” she retorted.
“Anyway, the vic’s are near some other bodies who committed suicide.”
They all sat in silence the rest of the way.
Stepping out of the car, they saw many uniformed officials’ stopping anyone getting in. Flashing some badges and some smiles we all got in.
A large dumpster truck sat in the middle of cordoned off tape, some forensic pathogists poking about near the contents.
You did not need to be a genius to work it out. On the ground near by, just a few feet way was a mans crumpled remains from jumping off the high building beside, marking it like a grave stone.
“I agree it’s not very nice” muttered miss doe. She must have seen my expression as I glanced into the truck.
A man in a white body suit and gloves wandered over to me with difficulty as he was out of breath. “Here” he motioned with his hand with contained a letter. Grabbing some gloves mr temple opened it.
Dear sir,
I would love to help you in your investigation.. but im sorry it would be telling, not like you could figure it out, not very good at all, just a trail basics???

a^*%u£$!

your faithfully
Keep guessing.


“What sort of a suicide note is that?” He exclaimed


thats it so far

 

[irishlops]

Clearing his head, he gave it to miss doe, and went for a walk.
“Just a basis, not smart enough” it kept replaying over in his head. He had heard this from some where… but where???
And what was that code about?
2 hours later they arrive back, miss doe is hiding in her private office, while the rest of the team is out looking over reports and photos.
Why where the homeless targeted, why did the man who jumped kill the other man?
His DNA was all over the gun found in his pocket, and the body. And why did he not shoot himself? It did not add up. All the team were thinking the same thing.
All except one absent minded consultant beside the window.
All he had on his mind was that note. In the past cases he had a few death threats… but not for awhile, and how did that person know it was a trail basis, that was confidential.
He sat on the chair provided by the window the rest of the team wnet out to another murder, but this was an upper class woman, the main park.
In the end up he sat in the dark office. A power cut… lightening lightened up the room with each flash.

4 weeks later, and still no clue about the letter, and no more homeless people deaths, he shook it off and got back into his job, taunting Miss Doe.
Or more fondly know as Miss Jane Doe to him, but to her annoyance.
Relaxing on his chair he fell asleep. The typing of fawn, the new girl was slowly drifting way and so was the two men in the joint desks started to fade, they were talking about physics’, “ha ” he said to himself.

“Hurry up!”He said impatiently, urging the driver, the man who only 4 minutes ago was chatting to his friend about physic’s.
The code, was broke within a few moments of thinking

a^*%tmu£$!

A meant the answer, and ^ meant look up, after glancing over a few photos of the case 4 weeks ago a few red feathers and a few beads.

 

[irishlops]

which the man jumped from.
* meant stars, but none visible in the sky, but there was none because of the street lights. But during the black out he saw a very clear star. The North Star.
Percentage sign meant out of 100. 99 out of 100 street lights were out.
Looking at where the points of the 1 out of 10,000 streetlights that were working.
Tm stood for time, and looking at the time of each area of street and normal lights were switched off, drawing a graph and looking at the exchange rate of pounds and dollars of that day, taking them away… then it gave some coordinates.
All this was guess work, but it was clear.
3 years ago, he was in an investigation of some people who were hypnotised by this hypnotist/physic, he threatened me, saying I was a good for nothing and barley a psychologist let alone a forensic psychologist.
He had some feathers in his viewing room and had those beaded door way things with red beads.
The man escaped using his cunning and skill, which Jack had frowned upon. Now Mr. Jones was now back, to get at him.
The drive went on, as they went from streetlights to darkness and back again, travelling through different terrains.
Pulling up at the coordinates he saw a wood, dimminly lit by the cars headlights, the shadows seemed to Jeer and taut him.

The cold metal and a searing pain in his side made him groan in agony.


(still typing)

 

[irishlops]

“I see we meet again, but now I have the upper hand” declared a shadowy figure near his side.
Jacks eyes still were coming to terms with the darkened state of the room which he was in.
In the darkness he saw some moonlight hit against his captors eyes, which revealed a malicious glint in them. Also to his horror a knife in his hands.
The man sat back on a old log, “nice little friends you have, oh sorry I mean, had.”
The fiendish man let out a sick twisted laugh.
What does he mean by had? And where am I? Is he the man I investigated so long ago?

“Don’t worry my little friend, your friends are in a better place, but im not so sure about that lady friend, what was here name? Beth Doe? Yes, Beth. ”
“Who are you?” I said, weak from blood loss which I was fully consiuos of leaving my body creating a pool beside my feet.
“who? Why Mr. Jones of course”

 

[irishlops]

Then my head began to sag, my energy started to drain dramatically.
Cold metal awoke me from my deep sleep, a knife was pointed, and now holding my sagging neck up.
“Wake up, you do want to see your friends?”
A bright light shinned in my eyes, closing them tight I curled up away from it, a kick im my stomach reopened my old wound casing me to call out sharply.
The light of the torch prowled over the ground in the darkness, like a single search light in a sea of darkness. Then I saw it.
Dave, the English man mutilated in front of me only 5 meteres away, the cold staring eyes seeing into my soul.
The other man Kyle, the interviewer was killed swiftly, thank God, straight cut to the throat.
But his eyes were missing and the blank sockets looked so strange, as blood oozed out of them.
“Now, before the finale” Now I was over the shock, I began to think, very late, but still he was very very mentally ill.
“Ill explain to you my great plan!” he said it like a child telling he tied his shoelaces.
“I guess you were very smart to figure out my code, and my clues, but why? Why you ask, because the homeless were planning my murder! All the time they met in the alleyways”
“They were out to get me!” he shrieked
“I hypnotised 4 or 5 of them and got them in the inside, then I had them jump off buildings, and drowning and many more so no murders were linked to me!”
He droned on, but I was unaware, I saw some movement, it was hard to make out.
The smell of blood of nauseating.
Mr. Jones jumped up “Ah! I have the final show now!”
I looked on in dread as he had Miss Doe come over to me, she gave me a kiss, them thrust a knife into my heart.
He had her hypnotised… to kill me.

The end

 

[irishlops]

OK thats the end!
please comment and tell me how to improve.
it is rushed and poorly planned though