maherwoman
Well-Known Member
Received this in an email this morning...thought you guys would get a kick out of it! 
As seen in a dog's diary :
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The
only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was
Hmmm, that did not work according to plan ...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers
of inducing "allergies."
I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I
can wait, it is only a matter of time
As seen in a dog's diary :
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The
only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was
Hmmm, that did not work according to plan ...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers
of inducing "allergies."
I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience, I
can wait, it is only a matter of time
