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Becca

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Okay so long story short I've been ill for the last 2 lessons of English and our first ever coursework is in for tomorrow.

I was supposed to get my first draught checked by the teacher but of course I wasn't there so I haven't grrrr... So can you lot check this for me :) LOL

I haven't finished yet but this is it so far!

[align=center]How does Shakespeare present Juliet’s feelings and emotions?[/align] [align=center][/align]
Throughout the play ‘Romeo and Juliet’ Shakespeare uses different techniques to show Juliet’s emotions as they change from love and excitement to nervousness and fear. Juliet is only an innocent 13 year old who cannot share her love for Romeo with her family and friends for the reason that their families have been feuding for years. This has affected their relationship in many ways and causes a tragic end to the story.

In Juliet’s ‘Gallop apace’ soliloquy Shakespeare shows the audience Juliet’s impatience. She says ‘Gallop apace’ meaning run quickly along with ‘fiery footed steeds’ which implies the ‘horses’ are travelling at their fastest to chase away the day. This is an imperative because Juliet is commanding the night to come which indicates her eagerness for night to arrive so her and Romeo can be together. A further example of Juliet’s impatience is line 29 onwards where she is saying ‘As is the night before some festival, to an impatient child that hath new robes and may not wear them’ This confirms how desperate she is – like a child is excited and impatient on Christmas eve. The day seems to drag out slower and every minute seems like an hour. An additional reason for Shakespeare using the idea of ‘new robes’ is that her robes – that she cannot wear – are a way of presenting her new identity as a married woman and more importantly a Montague although she cannot put on her ‘robes’ yet because she has not consummated her marriage.

In the soliloquy Juliet reveals the love she feels for Romeo. Shakespeare uses a clever metaphor to show exactly how much the young couple are in love. Juliet says ‘O; I have bought the mansion of a love’ this shows her love for Romeo by creating an image of a mansion – which is big – and saying her mansion is full of love. This is unusual because in Shakespeare’s time women didn’t usually have their own money to buy anything – especially at the age of 13-14.
One more symbol of Juliet & Romeo’s love is lines: 21-24. She wants everyone to love Romeo as much as she does – even when she dies. She knows her and Romeo cannot live without each other so when she dies Romeo should go into the sky (to heaven) so they are together. What the characters don’t know is that this will happen sooner than they expect! Which is an example of dramatic irony – my next paragraph is more about the effects that dramatic irony has.

My next paragraph is about how the audience must be reacting at this point. In this soliloquy there is a lot of dramatic irony. One quote in particular is extremely upsetting for the audience however it is the same quote I analysed to show Juliet’s love for Romeo. In this paragraph I will uncover a different meaning. She says ‘Give me my Romeo and when I shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night’ Only the audience know that she and Romeo are both going to die at the end of this play. This creates a lot of tension considering what happened in the previous scene – where Romeo killed her cousin. This has shown a different side to Romeo a side Juliet has not seen. But if he is cut up and put in the sky for the whole world to see it will show his true self.

During her second soliloquy it is the night before she is set to marry Paris the man her parents have chosen for her to marry. Instead of her feelings of love and excitement this soliloquy outlines the cold fear she feels before taking the potion.

Shakespeare has shown Juliet’s determination and desperation in her words ‘What if this mixture do not work at all? Shall I be married then tomorrow morning?’ Shakespeare uses rhetorical questions as an example of dramatic irony because the audience knows the potion will work and that she will not marry Paris in the morning.

 
I need to extend on this paragraph but I'm not sure how:

Shakespeare has shown Juliet’s determination and desperation in her words ‘What if this mixture do not work at all? Shall I be married then tomorrow morning?’ Shakespeare uses rhetorical questions as an example of dramatic irony because the audience knows the potion will work and that she will not marry Paris in the morning. The audience can feel Juliet’s desperation when she says ‘No, no this shall forbid it. Lie thou there’ whilst laying down her dagger on her bed. She is willing to kill herself for her love.
 
Juliet goes through many different emotions in this soliloquy one of them is madness as she starts to hallucinate and things get out of control in her head. Along with that madness is confusion as shown in this line ‘Stay, Tybalt, stay!’ she wants her cousins ghost to stay with her so she isn’t alone however a couple of lines before she is worried she will wake up next to ‘bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth’ but now the madness has taken over and she wants him to stay.

The nervousness she felt in the first soliloquy as now turned to sheer terror as she imagines all the terrible things that could happen to her after taking the potion. She is terrified of waking up before Romeo gets to her in case she dies by suffocation. We know this because she says ‘And then die strangled ere my Romeo comes?’


Okay guys this started of good and now its gone crap please help me :(
 
Changed that last one a bit:

The nervousness she felt in the first soliloquy has now turned to sheer terror as she imagines all the terrible things that could happen to her after taking the potion. One of them we know from this line where she says ‘And then die strangled ere my Romeo comes?’ She is terrified of waking up before Romeo gets to her in case she dies of suffocation.
 
Your coursework is something like my Junior cert except your lucky the way it's all spread out, I have exams on 11 subjects from the 3rd of June till the 17th of June :nerves1, it's crap cause it means I only get like nine weeks holidays, if I wasn't in an exam year I'd get 12, it sucks.
 
I don't think she means join the sentences together, by putting in the commas it slows down the piece so it doesn't sort of all run together, for example.

In Juliet’s ‘Gallop apace’ soliloquy, Shakespeare shows the audience Juliet’s impatience.

 
I think it's fine and really good, here anyways, you get marks for mechanics (commas, fullstops, capital letters) etc. I don't know if it's the same in England but if so then I'd put in the commas, help to get extra marks.
 
Oh that's good, here it counts through all the exam, how does your English exam work there anyway? Do you just do bits and pieces throughout the year and then add it up and that's your grade? Here we have to do a 5 hour English exam in one day, it sucks.
 
Yeah, I didn't say anything about joining sentences, I meant your current ones need pauses within them to help the reader. I find it tricky to read long paragraphs like that, no commas is almost like no fullstops. Commas and this thingy ';', not sure what they are called, can help make your point come across.

My partner Mathew seems to have no idea how to use commas and it can muck up the meaning of his sentences, and everything runs together.

The writing itself is excellent, I'm really impressed! I wasn't trying to be critical in a nasty way. No way I could have written that well at your age.
 
You can still help me because A: Then I will know how to improve next time and B: We are getting them back after our teacher has looked through them because we didn't have the right amount of time to do them because of the snow days so we have another chance to change them a little :)
 
Becca wrote:
You can still help me because A: Then I will know how to improve next time and B: We are getting them back after our teacher has looked through them because we didn't have the right amount of time to do them because of the snow days so we have another chance to change them a little :)
Remind me this weekendand I will go through it and make some grammatical suggestions if you'd like?:) Doing English literature, English language and Historyfor A2 has certainly taught me a thing or two about writing a good essay! I so wish I could go back and write my GCSEessays again.;)
 
OK, sorry to do a bit of a teacher thing (;)) but I'll go through it and make some suggestions as I go.

Firstly, your opening paragraph is good but you could explain what 'different techniques' Shakespeare uses, for instance imagery, metaphors etc etc

Just a little thing really, but rephrasing things a bit can make an essay sound a lot more sophisticated and really push your marks up, for instance "In Juliet’s ‘Gallop apace’ soliloquy Shakespeare shows the audience Juliet’s impatience. She says ‘Gallop apace’ meaning run quickly along with ‘fiery footed steeds’ which implies the ‘horses’ are travelling at their fastest to chase away the day. " could change to "In Juliet's "Gallop apace" soliloquy Shakespeare illustrates Juliet's impatience to the audience as"gallop apace" has implications of speed. This metaphor is extended by Shakespeare's use of "fiery footed steeds", emphasising...." (I don't know the context so couldn't really say!;))


Also in"This is an imperative because Juliet is commanding the night to come"don't say "this is an imperativebecause"Instead explain why Shakespeare uses an imperative, eg "Here Shakespeareuses an imperative, perhapsemphasising Juliet's desire for the night to come...." (also as a piece of advice, examiners lovetentative analysis, so use lots of "maybe" and "perhaps"

I understand what you are trying to say with the 'Christmas eve' analogy, but please don't' use the words'Christmas eve' to describethis.:D

Asmall grammatical point really (grammar is my thing:D) try to use commas instead of dashes whenembedding a clause, egin"An additional reason for Shakespeare using the idea of ‘new robes’ is that her robes – that she cannot wear – are a way of presenting her new identity as a married woman"change the dashes tocommas. It just make it sound more formal for an essay.:)


I have todash now, but all in all it is a good essay Becca!:)I'm sorry I can't offer more contextual help but I haven't studied Romeo and Juliet since I was in year 10, and I really don't remember much of it! Just try to use more evidence from the text and really analyse it and you'll do great!:highfive:




 
I got it back yesterday :) I am going to make the changes my teacher commented on then I will type it here and see what you think. This Friday is the FINAL hand in date where we actually get the level!
 

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