Bring on the Rain..

[GoinBackToCali]

So Jarred has been dead almost a month now, on June 3rd, the day before my birthday. It is still a really raw and oozing emotional wound for us all.

Christian is my youngest son, and he plays with TJ down the road. TJ has a little 3 year old brother who follows them everywhere..the little boy drowned in their pool, he isn't dead per se, but he has no brain waves.

I am sure you can imagine Christian's reaction, and it brought the emotions from the loss of Jarred to the forefront.

Sometimes.. I hate life.. I honestly do..


[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWYRfsjBNQk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWYRfsjBNQk[/ame]

 

[Bo B Bunny]

OMG! Zin..... how awful. I can't imagine.

Your boys are.... just going through Hell, aren't they?

Did you read where that christian singer lost his adopted daughter - his teenage son accidentally ran over her with the family SUV. That boy will never be the same.

Tragedy involving children is the worst. You all must be danged strong people with all that is being thrown your way.

 

[LadyBug]

very well put!ditto to everything Bo B Bunny said. so sorry something else had to happen to y'all(and your friends)and so soon too:nerves1.

:hug1ink iris:

 

[trailsend]

I am so very sorry. How awful. Bo did say it very well... I'm just sorry.

 

[juliew19673]

Oh Zin I am so sorry to hear that.. You and your community has been throughso much lately.. Wish I could take some of your pain away - but obviously here if you wish to talk/vent.. Sorry Kitten your having a such a hard time...

 

[LuvaBun]

Oh God Zin, you guys are just going through the most awful time. How you are coping is beyond me - you are all so strong.

I am so sorry for everyone involved - surely things must get better soon.

God Bless

jan

 

[GoinBackToCali]

I really didn't post for ya'll to feel sorry for me, as it has been suggested. I actually don't know why I posted, perhaps in partial tribute to those loved and lost, to make us more aware of how precious life and our loved ones are. Writing here has also been pretty therapuetic for me as well.

I actually find myself fortunate, because I have my sons, and because I am emotionally capable of dealing with these tragedies, unlike the majority of the teenagers over Jarred, and the Elementary school kids over TJ's brother.

While Jarred was not a child born to Rick and I, he was a child of ours in our hearts, we miss him terribly....we deal with it because we have the living we have to tend to.

It's not easy to muddle through some days, yesterday, I took down a receipt that had been on my visor for a month. I never paid attention to it other than it was in my line of sight. Itook it down, and looked at it to see if it was one of the tax deductible reciepts for livestock. It was from Whataburger, the night before Jarred died, when I bought them supper. That was a bit of a butt kicker for me, and I cried all the way home.

There is gonna be good days, and there is gonna be bad days..such is the way of these things.

Someone did the RO TODAY thread and linked it to this thread, with the statement of * I am having it really bad.* I want to reinterate.. I have my children, and I have my memories, I am fine.. but I appreaciate you all, and all the love and outpouring and emails and phone calls.. Thank you.. I love you all for it.

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

Zin,

You are truly amazing. To be able to look at what you have when you and your family have lost so much is really inspiring. Your children are so lucky to have you in their lives. Know that you are, and will remain, in our thoughts and prayers.