BF does not "get" my love of Baxter!

[juliew19673]

I've been "expanding" Baxter's! world as we get to know each other.. In the begining I "trusted" Bax a little to soon and he chewed there a number of computer cables when I feel asleep and I immediately replaced these items along with making sure he was not "let to his own devices".

Now flash forward months later and I let Baxter! out in the downstairs while both my BF and I were watching a movie - my BF, Eric became so withdrawn after letting him out I paused the movie and asked "whats up?"..

He said he didn"t like that Baxters! area was getting bigger and bigger; I said "fine" but what exactly is the problem? He stated that he leaves Hay around (mind you not poo/pee as Baxter is potty trained in the short time I've had him) but he couldn't suggest that he is actually chewing or damaging anything.

Seriously? a few strands of hay causes you grief but YOU can leave your pants/socks/shoes in the living room when you come home from work?!

I pointed out to him that he is not required to clean up anything or cook anything and to perhaps "let" me continue on.. At which point BF stopped talking about this.

Since this we haven't really been speaking, but seriosuly the man is not requied to clean, cook or have to give me money to make bills (I pay the majority of our collective bills)- so he needs to shut up and deal, but really do not want to have friction.

I'm not the shrinking violet type, but honestly hate dealing with this - and had to vent..

Thanks for listening..

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

Wow, that sucks. Tell him to get over it, haha. I know easier said than done. The secret is to put the bun with him as they have some time together and the bun does something cute, tada! (Well, sometimes that works.)

Seriously though,hubby deals with poos all over the place here, lol:shock::biggrin2:. And hay? omg! Snuff pushes it out of his NIC cage when he thinks it's beneath him to eat it!:grumpy:

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Sounds like he's jealous. YES, jealous!

Men can be big babies sometimes.

 

[BlueGiants]

:yeahthat:

I don't think he'sannoyed withBaxter's "space", he's jealous of the time and affection you lavish on Baxter.Men are such silly creatures! It's a maturity issue. (He should grow up in about 15 years! LOL!)

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

BlueGiants wrote:

(He should grow up in about 15 years! LOL!)

HA HA HA i had to laugh at that, it is so the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[undergunfire]

Ryan used to be soooo jealous of the bunnies. He'd say stuff like I love them more than him, ect. Lol....he's grown out of that when he realized that the bunnies are super important to me .



ETA: then he even got his "own" bunny .

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Yep, John still tells me he doesn't like the bunnies. Then I'll see him talking to Clover "Hop, hop"or "just a sleepin?'".... but Bo is his nemesis I think! Because I am so protective and adoring of Bo LOL!

 

[myheart]

undergunfire wrote:

He'd say stuff like I love them more than him, ect.

That was the reason for my divorce, well to a degree. My ex- couldn't play second fiddle to all of the animals, especially a rabbit. He gave me the ultimatum of getting rid of the animals, except for the dogs because we each had them before marriage. So it came down to him or my cat and rabbit. Guess who I chose and don't regret doing. He couldn't or wouldn't compete with a rabbit... So who really had the problem...?

myheart

 

[Bo B Bunny]

I'd have chosen the animals also LOL!

When hubby married me, I told him I came with a cat and he either liked and dealt with it or it wasn't going to work..... He hated cats.

Now, he has been good to all of our cats and even cried when we lost Presley a few years ago.

He didn't want the dog....... we didn't need a dog...... no more animals... Sydney is his "WUPPER PUPPER DOG!".......

 

[Wabbitdad12]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

Sounds like he's jealous. YES, jealous!

Men can be big babies sometimes.

:tantrum:We are not! **stomps feet and holds breath** I agree it does sound like a bit of jealousy has surfaced.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

LOL I said "can be" and I was thinking how good you and PB and Jim are! so I couldn't say ALL MEN!

Now go sit in the corner until you have thought about your little stomping fit! LOL!

Wabbitdad12 wrote:

Bo B Bunny wrote:

Sounds like he's jealous. YES, jealous!

Men can be big babies sometimes.

:tantrum:We are not! **stomps feet and holds breath** I agree it does sound like a bit of jealousy has surfaced.

 

[mouse_chalk]

LOL!

I had to laugh at this thread, although it's kind of a serious issue... It's sooo true!

I'm so lucky that me and Steve decided together to get bunnies, and he loves them as much as I do. When Chalk was ill he cried and cried, and he spends loads of time with them, and doesn't mind the mess at all. :biggrin2:

But, I guess that doesn't help you... Since you pay most of the bills, and do all the cooking and cleaning, he definately can't complain about that! The hay thing sounds like a very poor excuse for him just not liking Baxter! because he's jealous. Simple as that.

I'm sure that once he realises that Baxter! isn't replacing him in any way (or is he? Lol!) and that his moaning isn't going to get him his way, he'll be a lot better about it. And yes, getting him to spend time with Baxter! on his own would help (would you just watch him a few minutes while I put the washing away? etc etc) a lot!

Silly men..... :disgust:

 

[juliew19673]

Thanks to all - and yes Itoo got a good chuckle out of this thread..

I do not thinkthat Baxter! is/was the problem either.. The BF was actually concerned later that perhaps Baxter! wasn't feeling well and called me into the bedroom to check on him (he was fine doing a DBF in his pen)- so perhaps he thought about the errors in his aurgument..

 

[myheart]

juliew19673 wrote:

...called me into the bedroom to check on him (he was fine doing a DBF in his pen)

Maybe a Rabbit 101 lesson is needed. I had the same thing happen with the guy who lives with me. I came home from work one day and he said, "Patrick didn't look very well. He was all stretched out." I had to give a little laugh before I said, "No, that is a good thing. When he is small and bunchy, that is when we worry."

myheart

 

[RexyRex]

I hope that he comes around...he probably will! My bf did not want the bunnies either but now has warmed up to them and loves them. Not as much as me, but it's something. From time to time he will complain about the hay and how he feels that the office is a barn, but I can't blame him there, no matter how often you vacuum you'll ALWAYS find stray pieces of hay

 

[Mrs. PBJ]

My old man ej hated chevy at first but now he cleans chevy cage plays with chevy and when we had dodge and chevy he would say yall need to get along so i can play with both of you at the same time.

He should come around it took ej almost 4 months and now I am going through the same thing with bruiser.

He had a cow I told him to leave then he said ok I will try to like him now every morning I here morning chevy morning phoenix no good morning bruiser but hey he learned to love chevy now it is bruisers turn

 

[MsBinky]

Well... I'll probably get shot for this but here goes... Lol. (If I say you, I am speaking in general terms, and it certainly applies to me!)

Ok so the thing is this. Let's say you're dating a guy who's really into cars... Would you accept that he use the house as a storage for car parts and leave oil stains on your carpet, etc? I sure as heck would not. I would tell him the house is a house, not a garage. Ok, so you guys are going to say "yes but this is a living creature" but it still comes down to the way we think.

If you are living with a partner in the same house, you must be willing to make concessions and see the other person's point of view as well. With the Mr., the house is my job, the finances are his. Though I cook, clean, maintain the house, he has a right to want to enjoy a house that doesn't look/smell/feel like a barn. (I say barn, but I mean, he gets just as annoyed with my own dirty dishes, clothes, etc lying about.) Just like I have the right to enjoy bills being paid on time, food on the table, etc etc.

The appartment is small, I have 4 bunnies and a cat. I mean, I adore animals, andI would never enjoy not having a pet in my family. However, that does not mean that the house can smell any old way, have bunny poop lying around all over the place, hay everywhere etc. He is considerate with me in the sense that, he wouldn't have rabbits himself, and certainly not 4. He knows how much I love them. Never once has he complained about the vet bills, feeding them, etc. He even enabled me to have Wiggles cremated. I on the other hand, need to be considerate when he says "Enough bunnies because the appartment is too small." He's not even here right now, but I still discuss with him before fostering or getting another bunny. Well, I snuck Annabel in but I felt so horrible about it that I started crying and he couldn't help but laugh at me.

What I am saying is, if you really want to be in a relationship that will last, if this is really a man you could see yourself building a life with, don't just blow him off. And this applies to all things, not just our pets. I love my rabbits dearly, but I also know that a rabbit can live an average of what, 10 years? I can have a lot of bunnies in the time I have a lifetime with one man. I can't have children with my rabbit. I can't really interract the same way with a rabbit. Sometimes, we need to decide what we really want in life. I personally, could not be with someone who would hate my rabbits but, I also cannot expect my partner to put up with things he doesn't enjoy. It's his house as well, if he wants to come home to a fresh-smelling clean house, I can't blame him.

I've never been told to get rid of my bunnies but I've also never given him reason to. I am careful to sweep up a lot more than before now. I clean the cages whenver it needs to be cleaned. I am much less impulsive than I was in the past. 5 animals in a 3 1/2 is too much for us right now. We just don't have the space to set it up properly.

I admit, I was wrong in how I handled certain things in the pastand yes, it led to him being jealous of the buns. He may deny it at times, but I know better and he has said it in the past. The thing is, it also made me ask myself why I was turning to my bunnies for comfort instead of him. It made us realize many many things.

I guess in the end, it all depends on how much you love this man. Is he complaining only to complain? Or is there really hay lying about? When you have company, do people come in and see socks lying all over the place or is it bunny poops and hay? I personally wouldn't want my buns outside, but I also want my house looking like a house, my man being happy, me still having my bunnies inside, and being on good terms with my man. Of course, one major thing is I am absolutely certain that this is the man I want to be with, so in the end, yeah he passes before my rabbits

 

[trailsend]

BlueGiants wrote:

:yeahthat:

I don't think he'sannoyed withBaxter's "space", he's jealous of the time and affection you lavish on Baxter.Men are such silly creatures! It's a maturity issue. (He should grow up in about 15 years! LOL!)

LOL!! This cracked me up. It really does take them a very long time.

Kevin told me the other day he wishes he were a sheep, because his needs would be taken care of quicker and better on the farm lol. He has openly admitted to being jealous of the critters! So this could be the case. I know Kevin has trouble with the smell, and we try to meet in the middle. He's been very forgiving and patient... however some bunnies he has more tolerance of... if Noel did something bad I think he wouldn't say a word, but if another bunny peed on the floor, I'd hear about it! Maybe your BF needs to get to know Baxter! better

It's hard to get a long sometimes LOL, but if it's worth it, you'll work it out and compromise.

 

[Leader of the Pack]

That's why he needs to continue to be just a "boyfriend" and not your "husband".

Boyfriends are easily shed.....