Being driven insane!

[pinksalamander]

OK, all the parents out there aren't going to agree with me at all...

My Mum is driving me so insane recently. We've got to a stage where I'll be an official 'adult' very soon, and OK so I still don't pay bills etc (but she doesn't pay for me anyway, my Dad pays maintenance) but I'm still pretty grown up. There is this thing among parents/children that the parent is always right, right? Well, I guess that it mostly true when the child is 5, but I'm 17... and sometimes I AM right. But she never sees that.

First off. 4 days ago she lost her remote for her telly. She comes storming into my room saying 'why did you move it?'. I said I had no idea. She went off searching. The next day she comes in moaning saying 'where is it? I really need it! Blah Blah'. I told her I had no idea and even helped her look for it. The next day she came in and started up an argument. She spun the line 'there is only me and you in this house'.l By this she is basically insinuating that it must be me. She doesn't grasp that the idea of 'just you and me' means there is a 50% chance SHE lost it. I would never accuse her of moving something (and when I ask if she has seen something of mine, she goes all argumentative saying 'I haven't moved it' etc). Needless to say, she found her remote a few days later.

OK, today. Firstly, I told her 3 days ago there was a programme I really wanted to watch tonight, so would it be OK as nothing she wanted to watch was on. So tonight I sit down to watch it and she comes in half way and starts blowdrying her hair in the same room so I can't hear. Again if I did that to her she'd get all annoyed.

So after I miss half the programme I start marking out for the dress I'm making, while she is getting ready. I get to the end and I'm trying to work out darts and I really can't get my head around it. First of al she gets all angry then grabs it off me and goes 'here its easy, stop being pathetic and let me do it'. I didn't ask for her help. She didn't really offer her help she just demands to do it.

Then I say, I don't want her to show me now, as she is just going out, and she will only be able to show me one little thing and then I'll get stuck and won't know what to do next, and she won't be here to ask. I said I'd rather sit down when I have a few hour with her around to ask for help. After this she starts arguing with me saying 'why am I being so pathetic' and shouting at me 'WATCH WHAT I'M DOING!' while I'm trying to pack away. I tried to tell her I just wanted to leave it but she kept going on and on. Eventually (as most arguments do) it turned into me and her arguing over how she can't seem to understand that sometimes I am right, and I just want to wait. Of course she can't seem to understand that I want to wait, and I am accused of being pathetic and 'don't ask for my help if you don't want it' (I do want her help, just not now!).

So eventually I just said 'I don't get why you have to pick arguments over nothing' and decided to go upstairs. She screams up the stairs for me to come back but I just ignored her (aren't we all taught the strongest thing to do if someone is picking an argument is to walk away?).

Anyway, she stormed out. She will probably come back and start saying that she is never going to help me with anything ever ever again ever just because I wanted her to wait.

So... can children EVER be right? Or are we always in the wrong, just because we are 'children'?

Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[Luv-bunniz]

We are always wrong! :grumpy: I swear, if I could blank my parents out and only hear voices of people I wanted to I would! They are so irritating. And the oh-so famous quotes...

"Because I said so"
"Because I am the adult"
"Because I am the mature one"
"Because you are too young to understand these things, you need help"

:X sorry, post over.

 

[LadyBug]

my personal fave is-

"because i'm the parent, not you!"

some times i do get mad at Mom, like whenshe's just not listening to me. but for the most part(75% of the time i'd say)we get along really well. and i talk to her about alot of stuff. but some times, i'll be like, talking to her about a boy and she'll just like diss what i'm saying about him. like if i think he likes me and i'm telling her why, she'll dissmiss it, and that makes me soooo mad! or one time i was confused about a boy and she goes, "why don't you just give it/him some space?". like that was gonna help!

:rant:

i'm done. she is a really cool Mom most of the time, it's just every once in a while.....y'all know what i mean.......:help

we could turn this into a parent rant thread, LOL!

 

[pinksalamander]

Ha, I guess I don't get on with my Mum that well. We have our giggles at times, you'd think it being me and her for over 13 years we'd be really close but we aren't. We don't hug or kiss or say I love you pretty much ever. Last time I hugged my Mum was when I went away on a trip a few weeks ago. Last time she told me she loved me was last summer when I fell out with my Dad and he sent a really rude email.... I guess I don't talk to her about much personal stuff. I'd never go to her with a problem! Maybe that's why we don't get on.

Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Just my .02, but I 've found that a lot of my friend's parents get testier the closer they are to leaving home. I think they feel as if they are either:

a) disrespected (by the fact that their children are now capable of independent thoughts.)
b) feel useless and old (They've been parents (and the boss) for a long time, and their "job" is now almost done: they can't let go of feeling needed, and thus get bossier)

 

[Little Bay Poo]

I think it really depends on the parent. I just recently realized that there were parents out there who DIDN'T constantly rage at their children, call them idiots, and belittle them every chance they got. I thought that was normal parental behavior because it's what I grew up with! Come to find that my mom actually suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (unknown to her because she's "always right" while the rest of the world are "idiots"). And yeah, it is literally impossible to win an argument with her...it has NEVER happened under any circumstances, nor has she EVER admitted to being wrong about anything. Or apologized for anything for that matter. The only times I remember her saying "I love you" was in the same sentence as she was belittling me...for example, "I love you but you are a stupid girl." Same with compliments..."You're beautiful, I don't know why you have no common sense." The most trivial conversations result in her telling me or hinting that I'm stupid, and if I don't stay away from her she's liable to rage at me about whoever pissed her off that day. And yeah...it sucks. :X

 

[Bunnys_rule63]

Omg Fran - I sooo understand where you are coming from!Being 17 myself I totally understand the whole 'not really a kid but not yet an adult thing'. The annoying thing is that when I was younger I had no problem doing what my parents said all the timeand being treated like a child, but I'm 17 now and I refuse to be treated like I'm still 12 or something. Surely as children get older we should be treated more and more like a parent's equal and less like their subordinate?:grumpy:

Personally I hate being patronised by anybody just because I'm a 'kid' (which I'm, not as I'll be 18 and an official adult in4 months!) Its not even like I'm immature or anything. Having grown up with a brother and sister that are 6 and 8 years older than me I've always learned to interact with people much olderthan myselfand in some cases have been forced to grow up faster than other people my age. I'm always the sensible, calm, down-to-earthone in my house and yet I still get no credit forit.:X



This happens particularly at the livery stable where I keep my horse. The yard manager (although she is lovely in other respects) patronises me so much and acts like my opinion doesn't matter. She instead acts like Smokey is her responsibility and will make decisions about him without even telling me! It makes me so so angry!:grumpy:

I could easily go on about this for years, but I wont. Wish I could tell you a solution for your problem Fran but I'm still working on one myself. :rollseyes

 

[pinksalamander]

Glad to hear I'm not the only one! I'll be 18 in 5 months, and although I understand that doesn't give me a right to go doing whatever I want I should still be allowed a chance to be right at some point! I remember when I was 14 or 15. We used to have arguments more than once a day, and most of the time I would make it worse and slam doors, stomp about etc. In the last year/2years I find it seems to be her. I actually member having an argument, although I have no idea what about or when, when I burst in to tears and just said 'why do you have to be like this? Why do you have to shout and pick at things all the time?'

Fran :hearts :brownbunny